The person in control of any relationship is the one who cares the least about maintaining it. The reason being that they are less willing to negotiate their position. After a lot of thinking, I find myself agreeing with this. How does anyone else feel about this? Anyone want to suit up and weigh in on it?
2006-09-05 00:56:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are right but i think the underlying reason that people do these things is because of some lacking in themselves.
If somebody doesn't care about a relationship they have then they really should evaluate why rather than continuing to give another person a false impression. I think it's more likely to be laziness, selfishness and weakness. Being unable to or just too apathetic to address the reason why they care so little. Why bother after all.
People who stay in a relationship they do not really want then it would seem are too insecure to contemplate life without somebody else to fawn over them or to bolster their ego with attention that they do not deserve. This is the reason they enjoy the power.
This seems likely, in my opinion- for any relationship, whether friendship or romantic
S
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2006-09-05 01:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where I have a problem with the word "relationship." Where is the love, unconditional love? Why does there have to be one in control, and one subservient? Do not people believe that there can be different conditions which guide the events that occur on a daily basis when two people are in love? Like a tide, high and low, flowing, constantly changing, but the love remains regardless. "Relationships" are too easy to bail out of, unconditional love is absent. Relationships are about one person or the other, not both. When you are in love, there is no need to "negotiate your position." The thing that so many people miss is that being in love does not mean being owned by another person. The greatest love comes from being freer in life you have ever been. Love means freedom.
2006-09-05 08:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by thebushman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way I agree and in a way I don't. The person in control could be the more mature one, more easily able to handle money therefore able to pay bills on time, etc. This in no way means the other is less of a person, but some people are not mature enough to handle certain things as an adult that needs handling therefore someone has to be more in control than the other. Now if this comes down to emotions, then no one should be more in control than the other.
2006-09-05 08:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT...Young Man, happens when the relationship is in control of you...and your mind is lead to think that its okay not to maintain it (as anyways you're not controlling it)...
Surprised? Well, its simple, at the beginning of any relationship, we are insecure and unsure about where or how far it would lead to and what would be the impact of the relationship in our lives. Moreover, the initial passion to 'achieve' a strong bond in the relationship is exciting and comes automatically (though we feel we're taking efforts....
But over a period of time, our minds relax as and when we get signals that we've achieved the set target/ level in our relationship...Its almost the same feeling of victory after a battle won...But once the glory is over, The medal is for keeps...and though we respect and have lots of value for our new-found treasure, we tend to let the dust settle on the relationship...forgetting how we ever got it in the first place...
2006-09-07 08:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's generally true.But you'll also find that once two people take time apart from each other, they'll realize they want to be with someome more than they realized. It's also possible for the one who works hard at maintaining the relationship to realize they don't have to be with the other person as much after all. Once they get back together, the mind games over who works harder to keep it going lessen and you end up with a more meaningful relationship.
Everything seeks it's own equilibrium.
2006-09-05 08:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by spindoccc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you are saying is true, but it is an indicator of a relationship not being the right one. I once, many years ago had a good relationship. We equally wanted to be with each other. It was the only really good one I ever had.
2006-09-05 16:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by crct2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree totally, its always been the way for me, the ones I'm indifferent about or go off after a while hang around like a bad smell and the ones I really like sense they have the power and end up abusing it because they are in control.... then its me thats the bad smell !!!
2006-09-05 07:58:49 · answer #7 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
makes a certain amount of sense. i personally feel that a relationship is not a 50-50 proposition but 100-100. if both parties are putting all they can into it daily, it will work. if the wife is tired one day and you put in all you can, it'll average out.
2006-09-05 08:12:48 · answer #8 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone should be in control of a relationship, I think if it's a relationship that's going to last you should both be in it as equals
2006-09-05 08:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by Moo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a very interesting theory and one that I had never thought of before, but I think you are probably right.
2006-09-05 07:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋