We changed the locks on the door, because he had been coming home drunk at all hours of the morning. He was very loud and abusive. He has changed completely since he has been with this girl. She is always making threats , because she wants him all too herself. I don't even talk to her, she scares me. She sends me vulgar emails of her and my son in bed together. She will not leave me alone, and I keeping asking my son to tell her to leave me out of their relationship. She has done some very mean and nasty things to me and I just want to be left alone by her. Anyway, we just wanted him to think about the drinking etc. But, he went off the deep end and left me horribly mean messages on the answering machine and I just sat there and listened while he wished me dead . I didn't say anything to him that night. And, he said things that he will regret more than he knows. Now, I found out that they are gettting married. He left and said he never wanted to hear from any of his family again.
2006-09-05 00:35:16 · 32 answers · asked by Lost_Mommy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If there no law again it nothing you can do about it
2006-09-05 00:37:09 · answer #1 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is an angry abusive 18 year old. Best thing to do is let him be, go off and marry and someday he'll come home telling you that you were right. May not be any time soon, but it will happen. My brother did this precise same thing. Within 2 years his marriage ended, with a 2 year old child in the mix. He is 33 now and still hasn't yet pulled his life together, but with the family, particularly our parents, he has apologized for his younger behaviour.
Your son is trying to grow up faster than what he personally thinks you are allowing him too and is rebellling. As for the girlfriend, you can block her from your emails. Call your local telephone company and they can help you with this. Do not reply to any of their hateful emails, phone messages, etc. or that will incite them to do more.
But if you feel that you are in imminent danger, do NOT be afraid to call the police and put a restraining order on the girlfriend of your son. Whether or not that angers them further should not matter to your own personal safety.
2006-09-05 00:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, I'm sorry!
It sounds like your son has you controlled with lock and key, and you gave it to him!
The only things you can do now is not communicate with him at all. Don't answer his calls, delete his messages and DON'T listen to them. Have your husband or a nieghbor or a friend screen his messages, letters, etc, for you so that he can't hurt you anymore.
He is dangerous, and so is this little girl he's with.
You need to call the police and report the girl and report your son for statatory rape. That's the best thing you can do for him.
Then call her parents and tell them what they're doing and that you called and reported them to the police and tell them only this and that you thought they'd like to know, and then don't talk about anything else.
You really need to put your foot down and honestly what I've mentioned already is the only way you can now.
It's a very good thing that you changed the locks. DON'T let him back home again until he can PROVE he's changed. Unless he goes to jail... which is a bad thing, but the best thing at this time for what he's done/is doing.
If it doesn't work, then pretend he's not in your life and let him go. When he's older he'll mature a bit more, hopefully, and then you can have a relationship with him. Right now he's doing things to tick you off.
Good luck!!
2006-09-05 00:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Nothing cures this kind of thing more than simply ignoring it and not providing them an audience.
I know its breaking your heart, but for now there is nothing you can do, and frankly if they are threatening you, you need to back off. If you actually believe their threats, and since you've changed the locks, that leads me to think you do, then get a restraining order.
I don't know what happened to you son, but if you can remember what you were like at that age, it was all passion and confusion and thinking you were right about everything.
Put them out of your life for now. I suspect in 5 years, maybe sooner, your son will be back to you. Be patient. Also, do not ever give them money or allow them to live with you. I wouldn't trust either as far as I could throw them, no matter what they say.
2006-09-05 01:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's got some serious problems. I wonder what her parents' take on the situation is? I don't think there's a whole lot you can do about his behavior besides not allowing it in your home. If he sees the error of his ways in time, it's up to you whether or not to give him a second chance. Try to at least keep apprised of what's going on somehow, because if there are kids brought into a situation like this in the future they are apt to need grandma's help to protect them from a potentially dangerous situation. I'd print out and file all of the nasty notes on the computer just for future reference. You never know when you may need to prove what's been going on. You may need to get a restraining order or something along those lines if she continues to harass you and that kind of evidence could help. It must be so painful to be treated this way by your own child. I can only imagine..... Good luck to you and to your son...
2006-09-05 00:47:03 · answer #5 · answered by wrennightwind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately there is nothing you can do legally to stop him marrying the girl, maybe you could involve her parents wit it and see how they feel, though if the daughter is as horrid as you say, you might just be making things worse. I would just let him get on with it, change your 'phone number so they can't torment you with their abuses. Then, when your son has had enough of his bride, he may well want to make amends, then it is up to you whether you allow him back into your life, he is your son, but that doesn't mean you have to forgive him everything, but being there to help when all goes wrong is the best thing you can do. good luck, and at least you won't have to waste money on a new hat and dress!
2006-09-05 00:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by rami #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your troubles. Your son is of legal age and
so is the girl( in most states). I afraid your son is about to
ruin his life. If you really want to stop this then call the police and
file a complaint. Save the e-mails and the threats and have him arrested. Have her arrested as well. She is old enough. Then you can try and get your son some help. Court ordered.
Good luck. This will probably be the toughest thing you'll
ever have to do.
2006-09-05 00:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your his mother but at the end of the day he will do what he wants... This little skank obviously has something over him right now... He will either grow up and realize what a mistake he is making by choosing a nasty piece of work like her over his family who love and care for him or he will screw his life up by marrying her and most probably getting her pregnant... As a mother of two boys, i worry that something like this will happen to my family when they start to have relationships... I do not think there's a lot you can do but be there for him when it all falls apart... As much as it hurts you to do so just ignore him... And as for wishing you dead, how bad would he feel if you did die and he never gets a chance to apologizes and make peace with you?
2006-09-05 00:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 18 and legally an adult. You can do nothing about him. However you can report the girl for harassment to the police just save the e-mails so they have evidence. I'm sorry this has happened to you but our children grow up and sometimes make horrible mistakes with their lives. All you can do is wait for him to mature and see those mistakes and he will try to make amends at that time. When he does come around be sure you are ready to forgive him and remember he will always be your little boy.
2006-09-05 00:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son may be 18 but he is acting like he is 8. My older brother did a lot of what you are describing. He is now 35 and he still acts like a selfish child. All we can do is love him but unlike my mama I DON'T give him money. If you give him money or help him perpetuate his mistakes he will never learn and one day you will see that lil 16 year old girl hanging out of a trailer on Cops yelling "LOCK his a** up!"
2006-09-05 00:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on the state you live in the marraige may not be legal in some states a 16 cant get married without parent permission you may want to save the graphic emails though, in some states even if they wanted it he could be charged with statatory rape and being a mother of soms myself i realize how very hard it would be but jail would probably be better than married to her at least he would sober up and maybe see the light otherwise just continue to love him and let him know he can always come home and believe me someday he will come around my prayers are with you
2006-09-05 00:47:03 · answer #11 · answered by t b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋