Should I turn him in, or should I try and talk him into turning himself in??
2006-09-04 23:02:06 · 32 answers · asked by deedee41 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
breakingand entering, stealing, dealing drugs, and yes, I think the cops are checking him out!!
2006-09-04 23:12:08 · update #1
And he doesnt have a record otherwise(he's 20)
2006-09-04 23:13:22 · update #2
Oh, and by the way, he lives with us(his family), I dont want the cops showing up at my house.
2006-09-04 23:18:05 · update #3
talk 2 him.
2006-09-04 23:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is your twenty year old son and what he did didn't actually hurt anyone and no one is suffering because of his actions then he should know better and you shouldn't need to turn him in . Tell him how disgusted you are with his actions let him know what an absolute feeling of shame you feel when you look at him and that he is no longer in your heart as a golden child he is no in your thoughts as a two bit crime , you would be surprised at how much being shamed by a parent can hurt . If on the other hand he has caused some kind of grief to befall another person then perhaps he might need to be spoken to by the law .
Just one thing Once you turn against your child and place him before the law it will never be the same between you ever again
2006-09-04 23:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends what he's done. If it's nothing big, just petty crime then I wouldn't turn him in at all, just talk him. However, if it's something serious then try to get him to turn himself in, he'll never trust you again if you turn him in. Quite difficult to give you good advice without knowing the seriousness of his crime. Obviously if he's killed somebody or seriously injured someone & he won't turn himself in, then you need to turn him in asap.
Ok, now I know what he's done then I would say it would be in his best interests if he turned himself in as the police will catch up with him sooner or later & then he'll be in more trouble. They are all serious crimes & he should know that it is wrong. And as for the drug dealing, this is way serious - if he supplys someone with drugs & they end up dying, he's going to be looking at a jail term for manslaughter. Is that what he really wants? I think it's best if you could get someone he trusts & respects to talk to him & show him the bigger picture of exactly what he's doing. Also, if he's dealing drugs & supplying young kids, he runs the risk of getting a serious beating, maybe hospitilisation if any of their family find out what he's been doing. Nobody likes a drug dealer, not even the people who buy the drugs off him.
2006-09-04 23:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by EmmaB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of the crime you should first try to talk him into turning himself in. This will be looked at during the sentencing and could get a much more lineant punishment for turning himself in, especially if he is a first time offender. It could mean the difference of spending 1-3 years in jail or probation.
If he refuses to turn himself in, then it gets difficult. I can't say I have been in that situation to tell you what to do, but I would have to turn him in for his own good and safety ( you wouldn't want him on the run whould you?).
2006-09-04 23:11:22 · answer #4 · answered by brian_wcu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what he done. If its something serious then he needs to be turned in or surrender his self. Are the cops looking for him? Or did he just break a law and you know about it and are asking if you should report him?
His crimes arent that bad. As for the drugs, Jail is not going to help him any he needs rehab for that.
When my brother was 18 him and a few friends broken into some storage sheds and stole some tools. They then hid the tools on our back pouch and tried to cover them up with leaves. My mom found them and asked him if he had anything to do with it and if so to move it off her property. He said no he didnt so she called the cops to report it. Turns out he did have something to do with it and when the cops came he also had some weed on him. He went to jail for it, end up getting 18 months in prison for each count of breaking and entering (4 counts total). My mom felt bad for it cause she end up turning her own son in, but it was his fault cause she asked him before if he had anything to do with it and he lied.
2006-09-04 23:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent who has been there I can only tell you what I did. My son was only 15 when he decided to turn to crime. He stole and hocked what he had stolen. He was involved with about 3 other boys who were all older and he thought he had to be tough to be with them. When I heard what he had done through the grapevine I told him that he needed to turn himself in, he refused at first and then he decided to do it. This whole period was so stressful for him he ended up with an ulcer. Your son is older and will be tried as an adult but turning himself in and owning up to his crimes will go a long way with both the police and a judge.
2006-09-04 23:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I love my son more than life itself. If he doesn't then you need to turn him in. Things can (and most likely will) get worse. Jail might be the best thing for him. But if they are checking him out as you say the police might be knocking on your door as you read my answer. Talk to your son and make him see. You are going to be living your life in fear of what will happen to you and it'll just break your heart if something does. Please! Try to talk him into it. He may and probably will get mad at you but I'm sure he got mad at you when he was 10 and you grounded him too. Now he's in for a big grounding.
2006-09-04 23:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by johnsmom326 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him into turning himself in, not just try, persuade him! Tell him that we should be responsible to whatever we've done, that we should accept the consequences of doing a sin. Tell him that you love him, and you really care for him, that's why you want him to turn himself in. Becoz if he runs away, the punishment will be more heavy....and if he runs away, its a sign of being irresponsible and full of pride person.
tell him that if he turn himself in, and when he get out of the jail, may be he will be a better person...and he'll see that it is for the better.
If you tell him that "run away!" , nothing will change isn't it?
The problem will just get worst.
Talk to him in a nice way.....gud luck!
2006-09-04 23:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by Angeline_Love16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him about turning himself in
2006-09-04 23:12:38 · answer #9 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he steal some candy or commit murder? Try to talk him into turning himself in before he does something else.
2006-09-04 23:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turning him in will only alienate him from you and anyone else involved in that endeavor. But, if you talk to him, tell him what you know, and give him his options to cease his activities, he may resent you for a time, but at 20 he will see that you are trying to help him. If he refuses to accept his responsibilities, suggest to him your intentions of turning him in.
2006-09-04 23:30:23 · answer #11 · answered by Zephyr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋