1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.
2.EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change
back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3.MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need
but it's on sale.
4.BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor,a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5.ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking,
men kick cats.
7.FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8.SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9.MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change
and she does.
10.DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11.NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12.OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY.....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband
asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep,"the wife replied, "in-laws."
2006-09-04 22:19:27 · 15 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That was very funny! Thx!
2006-09-04 22:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Λиδѓεy™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extremely funny. Good typing skills too
2006-09-04 22:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by greytholly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men will put a QUESTION in Yahoo! Answers and not publish an article on it, thats what a blog is for.
Njoy....
2006-09-04 22:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by sanghvir 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good one... n so true.. if i wasn't for us women they would be so lost, lonely & starving.
MEN ARE SUCH JERKS
some of them read this & didnt bother to leave an answer or comment..
2006-09-04 22:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like some! they're funny
2006-09-04 22:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by ~♥Andrea♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny joke, so true
2006-09-04 22:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by buttafly_biattch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha good one ,i got a laugh out of it
2006-09-05 09:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Foolishness. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
2006-09-04 22:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by sistah2sista 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha...nice one!thanks for the laugh...
2006-09-04 23:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is too long to read
2006-09-04 22:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋