Children and mother-law?

Question

My 4 year old, 3 year old have an interview with their nursery teacher this week, but my mother in law insisit she comes as well (The interview is at my house weird i know) I feel this is wrong am I right or am I being to sensitive The thing is my hubby is fine with his mother joining in any opinions most grateful

wow strong views, don't get me wrong I like my mother in law i just never been in this situation before so I don't know what is meant to be done and said. Thanks for your answers

Answer 1

I feel the discussions about the kids should strictly be between Mom & Dad, no one else. I have that same problem and I let it be known. Now my ex mother in law stays out of those situations.

Answer 2

Well, you can tell her she can come to the house, but the interview will not include her - she can stay and wait to get the details first thing when it's over.
I don't think you will be forced to make the decistion _at_ the interview, and she can get some impressions of the teacher before and after the interview, and you hubby can get her opinion, but I think that you have every right not to let other (I would guess assertive) people butt in on a family meeting with a teacher.

I think that once you let the initiative / responsibility slip away from you, it's much more difficult to regain it than to keep it to yourself in the first place. And it's oh so easy to give up initiative to elder members of the family (e.g. mother or mother-in-law), especially on the children-related issues. My advice is - don't. Your children need _YOUR_ attention and love and care and decisions - your mother-in-law did what she could about her children. It's your turn now. :)

Answer 3

You are NOT being too sensitive. She has no role in the interview. Once child is enrolled she can go to the nursery and check it out for herself. This decision is between you and hubby. She should butt out, but, of course you can find a nicer way to let her know she won't be needed, like, "The Nursery teacher wants to meet with the parents first."

I have 8 grands so I can take the butt out position cuz that's what I do.

Answer 4

on a practical level, too many adults or if adults out number the children being "interviewed?" this will make the child feel a bit overwhelmed?.. Ti's only nursery school, think just you or you and your hubby is more than enough...I love my mum in law and my ex mum in law, but certainly would not want or need them to be there when visiting or being interviewed for a nursery.. I'd say kindly thanks for your support, but for kids sake - want to keep it low key, so why not pop round afterwards and see what the kids thought? It would be somehting exciting for them to talk about afterwards with you & I will make us lunch?

Answer 5

You husband needs to back you up.
Check with your school and tell them your concerns. Perhaps they will say the interview is just for the parents. That would give you an out.
Grandmothers adore theie grandkids, but you are the mom and your husband should always choose you over his mom.

The bible says the a man should leave his mother and father and clieve to his wife. (literally it shouldn't totally leave them, but aliences should be to you and only you)

Good luck
Stand your ground. Don't let your mother in law make you feel quilty.

Answer 6

I know how you must feel. Torn between what you want and what everyone else thinks? If i was you and really do not want her to be there then i would just take her to one side and tell her nicely and just say that you need to be able to concentrate and ask her questions by your self. Tell her that you will let her know how got on as soon as the meeting has finished. Maybe she just wants to feel useful and supportive but maybe try and ask her to look after the kids while the meeting is going on?
If your hubby gets funny with you not wanting her there then just him straight?
Let me know how you get on xx

Answer 7

That's a bad situation. I'd tell her that she can discuss the issues with me beforehand and tell her how the interview went after the fact, but don't let her attend the interview--that's not really her place. She needs to cut her son's apronstrings already, not tie them to the grandchildren

Answer 8

First, when your husband is in the mood to talk about the situation, tell him that you want to be the parent. As a mother-in-law, I try to stay out of parenting issues. If my grandchildren seem to be neglected, I do speak up. Tell your mother-in-law that you want to have the pleasure of doing parental things without outside interference. She raised her children, let you raise yours.

Answer 9

I completely understand you, I have a mother-in-law that want to butt in everything, and also my husband is fine with it. She wants to be including in everything, but there is a limited. Yes I understand this is HER grandchildren, but they are your children. So you need to stand up for what you believe is right. I believe that you need to have your own time with your children in some stuff. Good Luck

Answer 10

I suggest you sternly remind your husband who gave birth to your two little darlings and what couch he will be resigned to if he so chooses to not support his WIFE over his mommy.

No the interview at your home is not weird, they want to get a feel for how the children live...it's pretty common actually.

And absolutley NO, you are not being to sensative...they are YOUR children, not hers...she has no place at that interview.