blonde jokes... what have you got?

Question

What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?

The winner of last weeks hind and seek contest.

Answer 1

I like that one :)

These are prob olddd...but here goes...

Two blondes standing on street corners, one blonde yells to the other blonde, "how'd you get to the other side??" other blonde yells back "your already on the other side!!!"

Blonde calls into AA, asks "How long is a flight from LAX to JFK?" AA rep says "Just one minute..." Blonde says "ok great, thanks" and hangs up.


Just remembered another one that went around last week..... Blonde is flying to Houston, she gets up from her coach seat and moves into a first class seat. The stewardess notices this, sees the blonde getting comfortable in the first class seat and goes to speak with her. She tells her "I see your ticket is for a coach class fare, please move back to your seat" The blonde yells out "I"m blonde and i'm beautiful and i'm staying right here!" The stewardess, unsure how to handle this calls the co-pilot up and asks for help, he says don't worry I'll go speak with her, co-pilot makes his way to the first class cabin and says "mam you have a coach ticket, please move to your coach seat" again the blonde yells, "I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful and I'm staying right here!" the co--pilot goes back to the cockpit, pilot asks him how it went and the copilot tells him she wouldn't move, not sure how to handle it. so the pilot says "don't worry i'll handle this, my wife is blonde" Pilot walks into the first class cabin bends and whispers something into the blondes ear..... the blonde upon hearing this immediatly gets up and moves back to her seat in coach. The stewardess and copilot are both dumfounded and asked "what'd you say to her" the pilot says "I told her first class wasn't going to houston"

Answer 2

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”


Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

Answer 3

Before I answer this please no one get offended I am a natural blonde so I think I have a right to tell a few blonde jokes every now and then. By the way yours was actually funny. I could type forever answering this one. But I'll limit myself to five.

Did you hear about the blonde who worked in the M&M factory?
They fired her for throwing out all of the Ws.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Is it mine?

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the bathtub.

What do you call a bunch of blondes standing side by side?
A wind tunnel.

---My Personal Favorite--

A blonde walks into an appliance store and tells the salesman. "I want to buy this TV." The salesman says "I'm sorry, but we don't sell to blondes." She leaves and puts on a brown wig. She goes back to the store. Again the same thing. She tells the salesman she wants to buy the TV and he tells her they don't sell to blondes. She leaves and goes to the beauty salon and gets a complete make over. New hair style, dyes her hair red, new make up. The works. She goes back to the store for a third time. Once again the same thing. She tells the salesman she wants to buy the TV and he tells her they don't sell to blondes. She gets mad and asks the salesman how he knows she's a blonde. His answer? Lady it's not a TV. It's a microwave.

Sorry I know they're kind of lame, but they're classic and ya gotta llove 'em.

Answer 4

How about the blonde who was staring at the orange juice container for ten minutes because it said "concentrate"???How about the blonde who looked like she was having a fit while holding a can of spray paint? it said, "Shake well before using". How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A place to rest their ankles while they're being plowed. why did it take the blonde 5 minutes to hit the ground when she jumped off a building to commit suicide? She stopped for directions on the way down. How about the blonde secretary who thought her keyboard was pregnant because it skipped a period??

Answer 5

A blonde girl is cruising down the highway going 85 mph in her brand new sports car. After driving for a few miles she hears sirens, sees the police car behind her, and pulls over. A blonde police officer walks up to her car and asks for license and registration. What does a license look like, asks the blonde driver. The police officer tells her that its a rectangle with her picture on it. The blonde girl reaches into her purse, finds her mirror, sees her reflection and hands it to the officer. The police officer looks into the girl's mirror and asks "Hey, how the hell did you get my license??!!"

Answer 6

3 blonde girls came about a lake they didnt know what to do one wished she was hundred times smarter and built a raft.one wished she was a thousand times smarter and built a canoe and the other one wished she was a million times smarter and walked across the bridge.

Answer 7

The true punchline to the blond/cop/mirror joke is..

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize you were a cop.

Answer 8

lol
i can honestly not remember any jokes at the moment but i luv blonde jokes!

Answer 9

2 blonds are in a field at night looking up at the moon.
1st blond says "Which do you think is closer the moon or florida?"
2nd blond says "DUH! Can you even see florida from here!!"