Ok me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 yrs. He has custody of his first 2 kids then we have 2 other children together. Well we can not get along and he is abusive. I got the courage to leave him after he beat me up in front of my kids for the last time. I now live 5 hours away. But I want to move on and need some pointers shall I say. Also what should I do about visition? Should I bring them there or make him come here? Please help
2006-09-04 18:38:25 · 16 answers · asked by Sexymccay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im not talking anything about support. Im not worried about that. I have reported him he is on probation now for battery on me. I also have dr reports from him hitting me while i was pregnant. I have made reports and documents. But he always seems to get out of it. I am so stupid for staying with him. Hopefully I can make it up to my kids.
2006-09-04 18:51:55 · update #1
My kids are 1 and 2. The reason why I left him was he was punching me and my 2 yr old came out to the leaving room crying because she knew what was going on so I picked her up and started calling 911. Well he punched me and stole the phone and grabbed my daughter by the leg really hard. And I yelled and tried to fight him so he grabbed her again. But they say he still gets visitation. I also have sole custody. They were born out of wedlock/
2006-09-04 18:54:46 · update #2
Give it some time. If you just broke up be careful. You could relapse.
Stay away from the abuser. Keep your kids away too.
File a report with the authorities and get a case number. Get legal councel. You can find good advice for free here on the internet.
YOu made the right move. You may have saved your life and the children too. Make sure you report the guy. If you don't then he might try to make some claim against you. Protect yourself and the children, report him to the cops! Good luck and God Bless!
2006-09-04 18:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by Ahab 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move more than five hours away from him and I don't think you should stay because you are risking your own safety. Some men think since you're their baby mama, they still have a right to you for sex or can still abuse you or do whatever they did while you were together. I think you should bring your kids over there because you don't want to put yourself in harm's way by having him come to your house. Establish days and times of when you should pick them up and drop them off. You must clear the air and establish an understanding that you're on terms with each other only for your kids with the understanding of how your personal life is personal and private.
2006-09-04 19:01:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did he get custody of the other children? From what you say, family services should take them. However, go to court - if an order of protection is appropriate, use it or through welfare, if you are on it or get an attorney - for child support. The court will then set the terms for visitation. In the meantime, I would have him pickup and drop off the kids where you live.
2006-09-04 18:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by rehabob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he beats you and you got out stay out untill he gets help . Other wise each beating will get worse untill you are in the hospitol or dead. You don't want your kids around him because we learnmore from actions than words. If you feel he beats the kids he has custidy of it is your responcibility to report this to the proper autorities. I would not let him around my kids unless i was there and also someone that could stop him from hitting you. you must still have strong feeling for him and you are going through hell right now. The best advise I can give is stay away you deserve better.
2006-09-04 18:57:23 · answer #4 · answered by cook-e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you have 2 children with an abusive man? What the hell is the matter with you? He is not good enough for you to live with but he is good enough for your kids to see him every other weekend? Are you insane?
Let me guess. He beat you and you did not file a report with the police and he did not go to jail and now there is no record of what kind of man he is so you have no chose but to send your kids to spend the weekends with a man YOU don't dare live with. Your not a mother. Your an idiot.
I think its disgusting that you will send your kids to spend time in a place with a man you don't dare live with. Here is a pointer for you. Give your kids away to some one who will actually defend and protect and care for them. Your as dangerous to them as he is.
2006-09-04 18:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by john d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get custody of your kids go to court he shoudn t be with the kids because he abusive you and the kids watch it that s offer. the kids probably crying that they want to see you. I don t like to see no man beats a woman nobody should beat a woman i prefare you to go to court and get your kids back get a lawyer whatever it take to get your kids back. and also get a order of protection against him and move to another address so he can t find where you live.
2006-09-04 18:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was good of you to get out of that relationship,ask youe children what they want,maybe they will prefer him visiting where you are staying instant of them going there because they saw that he is abusive they wont feel safe there with that kind of a man.and as for you get out more and meet new people dont be shy or scared of finding love again it can happen in the most possible way.
2006-09-04 18:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by Faith Nelisiwe N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to take the direction of your destiny into your guy or woman palms,& attempt to think of approximately what you like,desire,& deserve.additionally,what approximately stability on your 5 babies??? They deserve a sturdy life with a loving parent.One sturdy parent is greater clever than 2 mediocre ones.supply up on a relationship that may not loving & being concerned,then learn how to love your self....Now,you're headed for a greater clever life,for my area...BOL
2016-10-01 08:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the attorney general in your state an work the child issue out.
as for moving on....things take time. you need to tell yourself that you matter and your kids matter right now. it's normal to feel the way your feeling....all things take time. worry about you and your kids. take time to learn about you. seek a support group. you can do this online and not have to go anywhere unless you feel you need to seek advise in person.
you did the right thing, but please dont waste time about the support issue, i'd file right away before he does!
good luck and hugs!
2006-09-04 18:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by giggling.willow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are a strong woman. and this too shall pass.
you need to remember life is what you make out of it. so go out there and get exactly what you want because no one can do it for jhim.
dont waste your time thinking about him think about you and your wonderful children
2006-09-04 19:00:49 · answer #10 · answered by www.myspace.com/yourmomentofjen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋