I am now 39 and my husband is 52, we have 2 gorgeous boys (11 & 14) but always wanted 4 but a failed business meant I had to go back to being the breadwinner 10 years ago. Things are reasonable now financially and I am about to finish a uni degree and start a new career but I know this is my last chance if I want another baby and I am so worried I will regret not having another one while I still can. The 'sensible' thing would be to just be happy with what I have but my heart hurts when I think about another one, what would you do?
2006-09-04 18:27:20 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes, I am 40, with a 5 year old son and planning to have another one. It sounds like you'll be able to handle it. I think it's bull crap that older women tend to have less energy and patience. It all depends on how well you take care of yourself, your personality, and outlook on life. You can still be fit physically to look after a child. As for the energy part, have an exercise regime. That will boost your energy and your spirits. As for patience, I'm no less patient than I was 15 years ago. Some parents never develop any patience no matter what age they are! Eat healthy as well. Take pre-natal vitamins or B-complex vitamins.
All that being said, it's a little harder getting pregnant at our age. It takes more time and planning. Ovulation Predictor Kits do help.
Good luck!
2006-09-06 19:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel you are pushing the age boundary and that is part of the reason for you wanting more kids right away. Have you ever considered waiting a few years and doing a foreign adoption from China or Russia? There are plenty of kids who need a family and it sounds like a little time will buy you even more financial security and the ability to adopt. I'm always so impressed by people who go to the terrible trouble of doing a foreign adoption (or any adoption, for that matter). Those kids are often facing terrible prospects in life if left to be raised in an orphanage. It would be a wonderful thing to do and it would be giving a home to a child who is here and needing a loving family, like the one you have already.
2006-09-04 19:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by BeamMeUpMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had two babies after age 40 (40 and 43) the one she had at 43 died because of chromosome problems but the other one is now almost 13. My mom is 52. I adore my little sister (she is 9 years younger than me and my oldest nephew is 3 months older than she is ) I say that if you want another child and are willing to do what you need to to raise the baby go for it! All you need to do is make sure you are healthy enough to have a baby and then take really good care of yourself while you are pregnant. If it ends up not being an option I would adopt a child (you could even get one that is a little older) My husband has a younger brother who is 17 years younger than him and they adore each other. Go for it but be safe! Good luck
2006-09-04 18:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by EmmaGee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not? If it will make you & your husband happy I say go for it!!!
SO your almost 40 I know of a few people who just started having children at that age! I wish that more women would wait if they could to have children later so you can do what you need to do in life and get settled...
I wish you & ur husband the best and yes I would try for a 4th you never know u just may have a girl this time...(Thats if u were wanting a girl)
But it sounds like that don't matter...
I'm 36 soon to be 37 and trying to have my 2nd my first I have lost when I was 19 yrs old...I have female problems...
2006-09-04 20:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother had my brother when she was about your age, which made me 18 yrs older than he was. I had a boy at age 20, got married at 18. These two little boys had the best time together. I had two more children later, and she had three girls much older than the boy. I don't think it is too late, if you want another child. He was a real joy to her in her later years. My father was about 10 yrs younger than your husband, but you just have to make the decision and go for it. I would have it because a few more years will not be possible as much as now.
2006-09-04 18:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally up to you and your personal situation. If I had given birth again at 40, I would now be the most horrible mother of a 5 year old anyone has ever seen. I have no energy and have some health problems that have set in during the past couple years. I wouldn't have worked for me. But if you fear you will always regret it, that may be the deciding factor.
2006-09-04 19:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want another child and are ok with being 58 and 70 when its 18, then go for it. Its your choice, noone else's. I will say this though, try to keep your kids close. My brothers are 11 and 13 years older than me and my sister is 16 months younger. So the brothers are close and use sisters are close, but we aren't all close. So if you think you can handle the craziness that comes with another baby, go for it! Just keep your stress level down and eat right, just like any pregnant mother should. Best of luck!
2006-09-04 18:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not? I'm 34, have a 14 & 12 year old. Now I also have a 9 month old. But, it's definitely harder when you're older. You're body doesn't snap back like it probably did when you were younger. My first 2 pregnancies were a breeze. My last one, I ended up gaining 80 lbs, and swelled up like you wouldn't believe. It definitely takes it's toll on you when you're older. And afterwards, I wouldn't trade her for the world, but I'm tired lol. But the flipside, my two older ones help us out a lot. I'd say go for it, but don't expect it to be the same. Good luck!!!
2006-09-04 18:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by tikitiki 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's really a question you will have to answer yourself, but let me give you my own experience. My mom was almost 40 and while I loved my mom tremendously, it was a litlte embarrassing for me that all the other kids had younger parents.
The child needs you to come to the band concerts, the plays, the PTA, all the things kids need us to do and they need you to be as high energy as you were with the first two. They deserve tht.
My mom died when I was 15, my dad when I was 8. I'm also an only child - so if they had me younger, I would have had them a few more years of my life. You have two beautiful boys....be truly grateful that you are so blessed and be sure it isn't boredom or depression or the desire for companionship that drives the urge for another.
2006-09-04 18:36:29 · answer #9 · answered by chris 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
that is so sweet. If you don't you might regret it later. Or you can just wait for grand kids. I say if your husband agrees to it, and you want to, then go for it. Just remember what it was like being pregnant 11 years ago. It will be a bit rougher this time, but what mother isn't in the last tri-mester!
2006-09-04 19:03:09 · answer #10 · answered by sweet southern charm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋