Would you ever tell your child that you adopted them if you did? Why or why not?

Question

thanks! For those that maybe curious, I have not adopted a child......but I know a couple is is trying to

Answer 1

Yes, I would so they would know their history. I would want them to be able to obtain medical history, and to find their parents if they wished -- when they were old enough.

Answer 2

Oh for sure. I would want to know if i was adopted. It's keeps the peace in the family for years to come. What if you found out after 30 years your real mom and dad were not your real parents? Think about it. People should be honest. But if a child? I would wait until they are at the right age and ready to know.
Take Care.

Answer 3

I have known since I was 2 years old that I was adopted. In order to allow me to understand why, my parenmts bought me the book "Why Was I adopted" It's a children's book and it takes the child through understanding why their parents gave them up, and that they just didn't throw them away. I am now 24 years old and am so glad that I found out when I was younger, I now have contact with my b-mom and my 2 brothers that I didn't even know that I had.

This is the information for the book:
Title: Why Was I Adopted? (book)
Author: Carole Livingston

There is also these books:
Title: Our Baby A Birth and Adoption Story (book)
Author: Janice Koch

Title: Did My First Mother Love Me? (book)
Author: Kathryn Ann Miller

Answer 4

I am adopted and I can not ever remember not knowing. My parents told me at an early age. I always felt special knowing that my birthparents knew they were not able to take care of me and wanted what was best for me so... they put me up for a family to adopt. My parents always answered the questions that I had if they could. I personally have never felt like I wanted to find my birthparents and I think this is because my parents were always so open about it. Secrets have a way of getting out. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, etc.

Answer 5

If I ever do adopt then yes I would tell them .. ultimately it would come out since I have a older child who is 8 years old .. or a family member etc. Needless to say I think they have the right to know. But at the same point I would make it very clear that I love them as much as I love the children I gave birth to..

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 6

Yes it is their right to know. What if something happens and they needed that blood parent for medical reasons. You going to tell them when they're 20 30 or 40 at the last minute. They'll hate you. It is best to tell them right away. As soon as they can understand it. I married my wife when she had a child. She was a year and a half when we married. I've told her of her blood father when she could understand about 4 or 5. I also told her that I loved her much and that I would always be there for her. She has since started communications with her blood father and whats me to walk her down the aisle when she gets married.

Answer 7

Yes, because I was adopted and Im happy I know about it and met my birth parents before...the child deserves to know when they are old enough. Some parents get too scared to tell in fear that the child will get mad which is a normal stage to go through from hearing such news but if the person (or people) is, was,and will continue to be a good parent to the child, then they have nothing to worry about and the child will remain seeing him/her or them as theyre REAL parents for taking care of them :)

Answer 8

I do have an adopted daughter, and she does know that she's adopted. However, in my situation I had no other choice than to tell her. I'm Caucasian, she's Laotian. Even if I had the choice though I would still tell her, once she was old enough to understand. I believe adopted children have a right to know where they came from.

Answer 9

Definetly! Lying to a child is never a good thing. At a certain age they must be told and not too late either. Maybe 10 to 12, depending upon the maturity of the child.

Answer 10

My daughter is observed, and he or she's grown up understanding it. My youthful sister have been given pregnant whilst she became 15, my father and step-mom desperate to boost the toddler as relatives, through fact my sister did not prefer to be a determine. She had a splash female and then needed not extra to do with us or the toddler. however the 2d she became born, i became linked and contained in right here months took on further and extra the maternal function and standard jobs. with the help of the time she became beginning as much as chat and understand relatives, it became basically organic she knew me as her mom, and that i formally observed her whilst she became 3. I even have constantly talked to her approximately being observed, she knows what it potential and has in no way not regularly occurring approximately it, and has constantly been informed the reality approximately who gave start to her. we've met up with my sister some circumstances, yet i don't think of there is plenty wish for any style of relationship between them. we are fortunate that my brother is likewise an observed relatives member, basically he became 3 whilst he got here into our relatives rather of a newborn. As Janey gets older, she'll not basically have a relatives that knows adoption and the observed newborn, yet yet another adoptee to talk to approximately it who knows it from her attitude.

Answer 11

I adopted my son, and we always talked openly about it. This way it never came as a shock.

We had a party when he was 9 months old when his adoption was finalized. I'd had him since birth. We'd watch the video, I always talked about how we adopted eachother. He adopted me, I adopted him.

In our home, Adopted was the COOL thing. My nephews wished they were adopted! It was always talked about how good God was to give us this gift of each other.

I wrote in his baby book the following:

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone
but miraculously my very own.
Never forget for a single minute,
you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

He's now 20 and has always been fully accepting of his adoption.

Honesty is always best. HOWEVER, and here's the big however. If it has been kept a secret all their lives, then you may need to talk to someone who specializes in this type of thing. It could totally rock their world, and not in a good way, if all of a sudden, everfything they ever believed to be true about themselves is suddenly pulled out from under them.

Amy