Could you tell me your favourite sexy sms joke and another ordinary joke?

Question

I mean general long sexy joke.

Answer 1

These 3 (Max, Kip & Tim) guys were taking a road trip and got lost in the desert.
after 1 day they ran out of gas and had to start walking
after 2 days they ran out of food and
after 3 days they ran out of water
on the fourth day they came upon a beautiful cottage with a white picket fence around a lush green yard.
Max looks at Kip and tells him to go knock on the door and ask for some water.
Kip tells him it's a mirage and to keep f'n walking to which Max responds that Kip is a SOB and he'll kick his A**
Just to shut them up Tim decides he's going to go knock on the door.
So being the trooper he is Tim heads up the walk with the other two following.
Tim knocks on the door and to everyones surprise an old woman opens the door.
Tim very politely asks for a glass of water.
The old lady responds that she will give them all the water they want...if one of them will have sex with her.
Tim turns around to Max and Kip who are already gagging and sighs...I guess I'll have to do it then.
So, Tim follows the old lady into the house and up the stairs to her room.
Inside her room the old lady strips off and lays herself out on the bed.
Tim stands in the doorway for a second wondering if he should just make a run for it and die in the desert.
Tim finally asks the old lady to put a pillow over her head thinking it may dull the pain.
So, the old lady puts the pillow over her head and calls to Tim.
Tim starts freaking out...he's looking around the room and sees some decorative corn hanging on the wall. Lightbulb People.
He grabs a piece of the corn and goes to town...when all is done and the old lady is satisfied Tim simply throws the corn out the window.
The old lady is so happy with Tims performance that she asks for an encore. Tim just smiles and asks her to put the pillow back, grabs another piece of corn and throws it out the window when finished.
The old lady is now fit as a fiddle and sends him out with a huge pitcher full of ice water.
Tim gets outside and finds Max and Kip and tells them he has water for them. They lick their fingers and ask for seconds on the buttered corn.

yuk yuk

Answer 2

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 3

It's not sexy but rude & mean:

A really ugly lady walks into a store with two children

The shopkeeper asks "are your children twins?"

She replies "No. One's 4 ones 8, why do they look alike?"

He replies "No I just didnt think you could get laid twice!"

Answer 4

i'll tell you. . .


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Pls. try again!