Im in love with a married man, what should i do?

Question

i know that its wrong and i hate myself for having feelings for him, but i do, and i cant help it. I also used to be friends with his daughter, he is about 25 years older than me. I think he may be seperated from his wife though. He likes me too. What should i do?(im over 18)

Answer 1

Find someone else.....

Answer 2

I think you are very wrong in seeing a married man. If you were married would you want this to happen to you?I think not. Men lie so how do you know if he's separated. Not all men lie but men that cheat do. How old is his daughter that you are supposedly friends with. Why would you say you are her friend and do that. I think you should think about other things such as an education or a career instead of a married man.

Answer 3

DONT DO IT ..and just go on cause you are going to cause more drama than its worth and you say you were friends with his daughter then you werent a friend...Come on he is an old man he has a few good miles and you will still be young..cant you find a nice handsome man for yourself...surely yes...dont do it you will be sorry ..
I know you are a smart young lady and you know what the right thing is...Just walk away...and leave it alone ..God help you if you go in the wrong dirrection,,well, good luck and get ready because the verbal slinging is on its way..

Answer 4

This sounds like a movie with a sad ending. I left my first wife for the babysitter. She made me marry her and than she divorced me for some guy 8 years younger than her. Chances are this is just a bad career move for you. Do you know how to do anything?

Answer 5

I've seen these exact circumstances happen in two radically different sets of people; both turned out horrifically.

In one case, the younger person was forced to remain mentally younger, if that makes sense, and then was subject to a dual abusive spouse/parent behavior.

The other case, which more resembles yours in the fact that you started off as friends with his daughter, also grew to be at the very least confusing and often downright uncomfortable. Fact is, I went to several gatherings where this family unit were part of and in an effort to avoid the ongoing weirdness underlying everything, I went to hang out on the balcony. To my shock, the woman who you could very well end up becoming came out to escape it herself. She then just began rambling about her life.

I knew she had kids, I knew she came from a huge family, I just assumed that she was divorced or something, having never seen somebody husband-like around her. Then I find out that her friend's father wasn't hanging around his daughter, he was hanging out around his wife.

She rambled on for a bit while I made a conscious effort to keep my jaw from hitting the deck and asking 'what the hell..?' Then she wandered back inside.

I quickly examined my clothing and determined that they in no way resembled that of a priest. I examined her monologue and found nothing specifically 'aaaah' about it, other than the obvious 'aaaah'. But I came away from the whole thing feeling that nobody, including the husband and young wife, were happy about how things worked out.

It wasn't even that they were angry, upset, some powerful emotion - it was the apathetic approach and habits the extended family maintained that somehow made it much more horrible than if there was abuse or the two families avoided each other and so on.

To the best of my knowledge, they remain so, as totally static today as they were more than a decade ago.

Let's forget the above examples and instead just focus on basic facts:

1) You know it's wrong. You hate yourself for your feelings.

2) You used to be friends with his daughter - friends being interested in other friends' parents falls under the category of 'bad idea'.

3) He is 25 years older than you. Yeah, yeah, it could work, it has worked, but imagine the image of this guy at 25 meeting you as a baby and thinking, "Yeah, I'm gettin' me a piece of that someday." This falls under the category of 'sick puppy'.

4) He's married. BZZZZZZZZZ!!!! Wrong Answer!

5) The fact that you think he may be separated from his wife. If you don't even know whether or not he is, you sure as hell don't want to get involved with somebody who wouldn't share that important bit of info with you.

6) He likes you too? In what way? Why is it you 'used to be friends with his daughter' but still manage to have access to this guy now? There are too many chunks in this story.

7) You're over 18. Great. Just the fact that you felt it necessary to mention this screams, "I'm just barely over 18!"

8) And the number one reason why you should NOT do anything about this and avoid the guy for the rest of your lives - you came to a bunch of no-name people for advice on how to handle this. If you can't figure it out, if he can't figure it out - then you guys will never be able to figure it out. You might fool yourselves into thinking you have, but sooner or later you'll realize you didn't.

One more thing. So, in 20 years or so, when your child brings home a friend, what are you going to be thinking when he decides, "Hey, time to trade in for a younger model. Who knew daughters could be so useful for picking up young women?" Karma-wise, you'd deserve it. Reality-wise, studies show that these sort of things tend to keep a cycle going.

Answer 6

Don't ever have feeling with someone who already married and got child,,,,,,you are spoiling your life and his family life,,why don't you think about his wife,,she also want her husband with her is it.
You are just over 18,you can get someone who are suitable for you,,,,,,or you just want marry someone who look like your father,,,,,please don't do it!!! If you are in the site of his wife,will you say OK if your husband marry again with someone else?You are try to doing wrong in your life,,,,,,if can please go and see counseling.. i hope you will take a better decision.

Answer 7

You need to let him go.I know it may be hard to do but he is married. find some one else to spend time with. Don't hate yourself just let go. Do it before you hurt your friend. their are so many more fish in the sea than someone 25 years older than you.

Answer 8

i know when loving some one,u may be blind.But,plz think back cause' he got married and he's 25, older than u.Believe me!there's no love here,just a strange feelings when u meet a man.Stop!and think about other things:education,ur future...Good luck!

Answer 9

Its not worth it, all you are going to do is cause lots of stress and pain to everybody around..he is more responsible than you for leading you all the way and you have been stupid to go along..anyway its not too late even now..move out of the life of everybody and carry on with your, dont make a mess of everybody life..there will be lots of pains and problems if you contiune and at the end you will be held as GUILTY party..do not encourage or discuss with him to divorce his current wife too as at ultimately it becomes your responsibility...if he can dump her for you than he can get rid of you for anyone else too...

Answer 10

don't waste your time and don't get too deep in with your feelings.
you should know better when you get involved with a married man, nothing will turn out in your favour. all this are your assumptions (you think he may be separated from his wife). this tactics are what a man used to fool girls like you and when he's got you. its game over. you understand? stop it before it gets too late.

Answer 11

i know many guys like that some want sex with hot young thing,some want kids and left wife to find lady to have them,others just use the lady for cheap sex,others want lady with no kids to be with and some day maybe marry her and grow old with her up to you i know many who have done the first or last and a few in the middle up to you it you're hearth and you're life.