The European Commission has announced an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU -- rather than German. As part of the negotations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English Spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish.
The agreed plan is as follows:
In year 1, the soft 'c' would replaced by the 's'.
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be replaced by 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' is replaced by 'f'. This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%.
In the 3d year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them.
By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard spas).
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be applied to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil have a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrirum vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Actually, never mind: that would be German after all.
2006-09-04 17:01:32 · 17 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thanks for reposting....
Like I was saying when you abrubtly withdrew it ...
I could see pretty quick where this was going, but I likd ze chaleng. it vas fun.
Thanks.
2006-09-04 17:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they really wanted to save some space by ditching the "th" construction they could go back to the letters à and Ã. Old English and Early Middle English used those letters until about the time of Chaucer.
Edit: Aber würde es *wirklich* deutsch sein? :-)
2006-09-05 01:06:10 · answer #2 · answered by ichliebekira 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ladies and Gentlemen this is why the truth is stranger than fiction. Thank for the chuckle at the Euro English's expense.
2006-09-05 02:39:09 · answer #3 · answered by Cali Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holy sh!t, to see the english language changed into some kind of retarded banter just freaks me out . how can those people be so stupid? less confusion? i guess most of the people that live in europe must be too idiotic to use the english language and not be confused...i feel sorry for those b@stards.
first teeth and now this....sad
2006-09-05 00:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by aznxpranksta69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My eyes are watering, I'm laughing so hard. I wish i could show this one to my husband... but he doesn't get the subtle jokes so well, or doesn't find them funny anyway. Thanks for the great laugh. I hope I can figure out someone in my email contacts to send it to who would appreciate it as much as i did.
2006-09-05 00:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, out of all of the jokes that I heard on this website - this one actually left me out of control... why wasn't there a better response to it? Freakin' hilarious...
2006-09-05 06:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by nina w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
zats a gud on. zer ar no mor korekzionz to be mad to ze english languag, korekt?
2006-09-05 01:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by sasukexsakura4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol. the more I read it the more I started to sound different.lol I love this so much. zank you
2006-09-07 22:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. That is freaky. LOL.
Samuel Clemens fan, are you? LOL.
Hope you have a great week.
2006-09-05 21:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suddenly, ebonics seems conservative...
oh...wait...
no it doesn't.
as absurd as the aforementioned notion is, the presentation is absolutely first rate and amusing too.
2006-09-05 00:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by pyg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋