What to do?

Question

When someone is really ugly to me it is human nature to want to "get revenge." But then again I feel guilty for thinking about doing it. Karma will catch up with me if I do it also. How do I let someone know that I won't take them being ugly to me but if I don't do anything I don't want them to think that I'am scared of them.

The public is what I mean-I'am a waitress and people are often rude to me no matter how friendly I'am to them.

Answer 1

Just tell them you're not going to take their crap. You don't have to be mean and call them spiteful names, but you shouldn't be a door mat and ignore the problem. If they get away with being rude to you once, they will do it over and over.

Answer 2

I have never had to wait on someone as a waiter (or as in your case, a waitress). Like almost everybody I have been served by quite a few -- good, bad or just neutral. Some more often than others. And some, I know I will never see again -- due to distance, or lack of a good reason to revisit the restaurant, etc.

For example, I know a waitress at Carl's Jr -- when she sees me she knows that I need 4 packets of ketchup. There's another one in a Mexican restaurant who knows my fondness for Tapatio with the "pollo" soupa and only flour tortillas will do with an extra serving of spicy verde salsa for my tortilla chips.

And there are some who have ignored me completely, such that I have had to ask them atleast three times before I got my glass of water.

I have made it a point to treat all service people with respect, because, who knows, I may need that job someday! One way, I show that is by offering a tip over and above the norm -- if I can afford it!

I cannot tell you how to react -- and if you feel hurt and rightfully so, I really don't know how to help you out.

However, I can tell you this -- someone, anyone, who disrespects another human being on the basis of their class or stature really has no idea what life is all about.

I say this, stick to what you do and do your best, no matter what. Because, the next person you'd be waiting on could be someone like me :)

And if you are young enough, may I say this too? Get back to school and get a hold of that degree. See if you go to community college at the least and get an education in something that will take you out of your situation. There is nothing that a couple of years of education can't do to salvage your situation.

In the meantime remember this! From the Bible -- [ It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." James 4:6]

Answer 3

I was a waitress for several years and I remember those kinds of people. Sometimes people are so rude that you can see the embarrassment on the faces of their companions. Sometimes their companions would "forget" something at the table and come back to retrieve it and leave an extra tip.

I had a couple of tricks to make it easier. Being an actress was one of them--and someone has already explained that. Another was to remember that I only had to spend about an hour with them and I may get cash for it---but there was probably some poor sap that was married to them and had to put up with it all of the time with no cash incentive! :^)
I saw these people as a kind of challenge. When known rude people came in and sat in other sections I would offer to take them. Sometimes we'd make a friendly bet to see if I could get a tip out of them. I would look for something about them that I sincerely liked (a piece of jewelry, a smile) and compliment them on it. Who knows when they heard a sincere complement last? Of course this is not done to a male when he has a female companion. The bonus was if I could get them to leave happier than when they came in.

I seldom wanted revenge. I felt frustrated but mostly, I would feel sorry for them. I figured that their lives must be so sad to make them act this way. It made me more grateful for my life, my friends and my family. I know it's hard for you, but think about how sad and lonely they must be.

Being a server is a difficult job but it's a good one. I like the hours and the pay was very good (fine dining and even truck stops pay much better than family restaurants). It can be a rewarding experience. I would still be doing it if it had benefits. Good luck and please enjoy what you do.

Answer 4

Being a Christian, my example is Jesus Christ. He never returned evil for evil. Jesus was often persecuted, and even killed on a cross, for no reason of His own doing.

If you truly want to be a happy person, learn how to let these things roll off you, like "water off a duck's back". People who are rude to a waitress must have a real personality problem. I used to be a waitress, so I understand what you're saying. But you are in a service profession; learn to serve kindly, returning not "evil for evil", and you will have a life of peace and contentment.

Answer 5

When you are a waittress.... you TOTALLY have to be an actress!! Why do you think so many actresses do that for a living while they're waiting to hit it big ???!!!

Seriously, it is important in many jobs to "be" the job during work hours and then take off your mask on the way home. As a waittress, it is extremely important to do that! Just pretend you are on a stage, honey, and the script calls for you to be super sweet. It isn't YOU they are treating that way, it is the person playing that part.

That's how you get through your days at work, when you have to deal with the public and they are in your face.

Answer 6

Well it's OK to let someone know you don't like what they are doing. Just because you don't want to be a push over doesn't make you a bad person. This person may just be a bully, the best way to beat a bully is to put their ugliness in the light of day for everyone to see.

Answer 7

If you just firmly say what you feel right to their face they will not think you are afraid and it is not wrong. Turn the other cheek did not say run away or be silent, it said stand right there and stand on what you believe is right. Its a good idea to use the words I feel in front of an opinion. It is hard for them to justify and argue with how you feel. Developing a good vocabulary is almost as good as a right hook.

Answer 8

Child, child! You must be a teenager...Karma has nothing to do with it. Jesus Christ is in your heart. The next time someone intimidates you, place your hand on their shoulder and pray to God to help you and that person reach common ground and get over petty differences. How would you feel if that person perished tonight??? Seriously, think about how unique they may be in your world before you dismiss them... grow together; it's a much more pleasant journey

Answer 9

Sometimes Karma is what happens to the 'bad guy' when good people get angry enough to take action.

Answer 10

Turn the other check, and God will take vengence for you. This is very hard to do but if you pray God will give you the strenth to do it. It gives you spiritual power over them, instead of them having power over you.