Help me stop my 8 year old from taking things!?

Question

My 8 year old son has ADHD. Since he was 3, he gets up in the middle of the night and raids my kitchen, making messes and wasting anything that isn't locked up tight. He is on medication for his ADHD, but he still wastes no opportunity to touch things that don't belong to him. We have tried punishments like taking away a privilage when he steals, giving him a boring breakfast instead of things he likes, sending him to his room, and even spanking. Nothing works. We hate having to lock up our kitchen to save our food from our own son. Its not just the kitchen either - within minutes of sending him to bed, he is ransacking my room for goodies I may have hidden there, or simply because he knows he is not allowed to do it. We are not willing to accept that nothing can be done about this, and that he is not capable of making the right choices, but we are at the end of our patience and need some help - any suggestions? Please, no jokes, we aren't laughing.

Answer 1

ADHD is a very hard and challangeing thing to deal with..... I raised a son with it...... spanking is a big NO NO...... and talking does NOT help either..... they can't sit long enough to hear what you are saying...... so here it is....... YOU have to find a way to soothe the beast.... not that the child is a beast, but you know what I mean..... colors and sounds make a BIG difference..... loud noises and bright colors will set them off..... paint his room a very pale soothing color.... we painted our sons green and blue, a very pale green and blue, and it was a foot ball theme... do your research on this ADHD, there is help out there... also, at night play soft, slow, soothing music, it will help distract him from getting up..... it wil take a while..... but soon the brain will connect to the music..... also, when making rules, WRITE them down, in large but NOT bright colors.... us blue instead of black, never RED... make the rules simple, and use only a few words, their attention span will not allow them to connect with long worded or big worded rules...... such as, NO SNACKS AFTER DARK, simple and to the point....... do not yell at the child, that too will turn on a switch...... sending them to their room is like abandonment to them.... they feel alone so they will react in a negative way..... crowds are a NO NO, they feel as if needles are sticking them.... these little things can and most times do make a big difference..... also, family counceling is another suggestion...... look into it......... tellling an ADHD child NOT to do something is like waving a red flag at a bull, it is the same as telling them to go ahead and do it..... you could get a basket or box and put good stuff, such as fruit roll ups and stuff in it with HIS NAME on it, give permission to eat that stuff anytime, I think you will find that after a while he will get the drift of it on his own.... make him his own space......with the music and colors you may have to experiment a little, you can also try a tape or disc of nature sounds and or ocean waves..... good luck and God bless.. PS .. WHITE is a real big NO NO as for as the colors go..... a big NO NO.........

Answer 2

Honey, he's 8 and he's at the age where a child is suppose to know wrong from right. If the punishment isn't working and you've tried everything, it's time to seek professional help. This may be psychological rather than just bad behavior. As a mother, I'm sure there isn't anything we could suggest that you haven't already tried. The only thing I didn't read in your question was rewarding him for good behavior. The positive reinforcement of a learned behavior has always worked ten times better than focusing on his negatives. I'm not saying it's a cure all, but if you haven't tried it, maybe give that a whirl before you consult with the professionals.

An easy way to do it, is to sit down with him and have him list all the things he does that he gets into trouble for. Then have him think of something inexpensive ($10 -$20) that he would like to have. After that, make a chart, like a calander using his problems on the left hand side in one column and the days of the week individually in their own column. Each day he doesn't committ one of his offenses, put a star next to the offense. If he makes it through the entire week getting all stars, give him his reward.

Being that he's 8 and a week can take forever, I would start by focusing on each day. At the end of the day, if he's done alright, make some special time with just him playing a game to reward him. But keep the end of the week goal at the same time. Days are easier to get through in a child's eyes, compared to weeks.

I hope this helps some. And if you do this for a few weeks and notice no changes, then, honey, you really need to call a therapist who specializes in ADHD. They may have some other suggestions that we aren't aware of.

Answer 3

You need real help, for you and your son. Do you have a support group? Medication alone will not get your family through this. You need support and maybe counseling and your son may have counseling needs as well. I wish I had more info for you, but the best I can offer you is a recommendation to Love & Logic Parenting. It may be enough. I found it years ago when my kids were small. My good friend who works with VERY troubled children in a foster care environment taught the classes I took. She has had over 200 kids in 20 years, most from some really horrific pasts. Some have ADD or ADHD among other problems. She does amazing things with kids no one else believed had a chance at any kind of normal life. Her kids get turned around so fast it's like magic to watch them thrive and grow. Please try it, or at least browse their subjects - it might help? I wish the best for you and your family.

PS: If you have any questions about the L&L stuff, send me a private message & I'll try to help.

Answer 4

You have to be consistent and always watching or listening for him.Get a baby monitor that will tell you what he is doing when you are in your bed.You will hear him at night when he is getting into things and be able to deal with the issue as it happens.Like,sending him to his room after the room has been made kidproof.Sit outside his door until he falls asleep.Don't let him nap in the daytime so he is very tired at night.Put him to bed the same time every night.Don't let him out only to use bathroom and don't let him use this for an excuse to get out of his room.If you know he went once,then he doesn't have to go in 4 or 5 minutes later,Be consistant with every thing.My nephews,all 3 of them have ADHD.But the mom just keeps on them.When they run,she goes gets them,then they don't get to play outside till they learn not to run away from her.Keep his days so busy that he doesn't have time to get into trouble.I hope this helps in any way as it must be hard for you but in time it will get better.

Answer 5

Just correct the kid, like give him harsh punishments for stealing and harsher if he does it again. Or talk to him and ask him why he even does what he does. Maybe you could find an answer from him on why he does it and you could do something to stop it

Answer 6

Wow, is this medication making him extra hungry - are these side effects? Makes me wonder was he like this before the medication?
Does he need a different dose or different med?
Wow, what resourses have you tried?
Doctor? Church? Therapists? Support Groups?
I hope you find answers - try everything you can.

Answer 7

Why not seek out a therapist that specializes in children with ADHD. They would probably have great recommendations for changing his behavior

Answer 8

your local police depart might be able to help. when my kids got sticky fingers i called the local pd and asked them for help and the coolest officer i ever met had a chat with them.

they understand and have kids too and most will do it in a respectful way that our kids wont listen to us but wait till u see the change after.

Answer 9

Too bad civil authorities outlawed spanking.

Answer 10

It sounds like he's obsessed with stealing. Get him into pyschiatry.