Some dear friends of mine that just got married are having problems with a stubborn, mean, hyperactive child that is a little on the bratty side. The biggest problem is this child was told by a psychiatrsit that he has "behavioral" issues. This child will take a crap in his pants while playing video games and refuses to do anything about it. His parents are at thier wits end and don't know what to do. Spanking won't help, punishment dosn't work. This child is making things very difficult. I love these people as if they were family. I don't know how to help them.
The little boy can be sweet, but for the most part thinks he can do what he wants even when the parents set limits.
The Child is 7
Please Help!
2006-09-04 16:33:53 · 14 answers · asked by Mscott21 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my stepson, now 26 and very much potty trained, didnt go poop in the toilet until he was 7......we made him clean it up himself, he had to stand at the toilet with the dirty pants and rinse them out in it..........he had to get in the bath and clean himself up....didnt make any other deal of it...nothing was ever said except when he was going to clean himself up...that stopped him doing it....
we didnt yell, we didnt scold...we IGNORED it until he wanted it cleaned up...
it worked! he is now a computer programer and the coolest guy you could hope to meet
2006-09-04 16:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This kid has control issues, not behaviourial issues. He wants to control the situation with his new family and knows that taking a crap in his pants is the most socially unacceptable thing he can do.
I'd find a good child psychologist rather than the shrink.
There's some real anger here at this new marriage I think. He's playing the parents like a fiddle.
Sounds like he's going to need therapy for a long time.
Good luck to the parents.
2006-09-04 16:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzy-tish 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The child and parents obviously need help. The best thing you could do is organise some pamphlets or contact details of some good child doctors or counsellors as the first step. Seeing a psychiastrist obviously wasnt enough. They may think your being rude or pushy but at least they will have the info and all they'd have to do is make the appropriate appoinments.
2006-09-04 17:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of spanking and punishment, what about positive reinforcement? Rewards for clean and dry days? Praise for doing well? Sticker charts? Special privledges? EARNING computer time by staying clean?
Set him up to succeed! Make him go to the bathroom BEFORE he is allowed to touch the computer if that's where he usually has his accidents. Then limit computer time. Set a timer and when it goes off he gets 5 minutes to finish up and then he's off the computer.
Does he have a Gameboy? Limit Gameboy time to "sit times" where he sits on the toilet for say 10 mins 2 times per day to try to take a dump if that's the main problem.
Does he wet his pants as well or just have soiling issues? Does he ever do this at school?
Have they seen a regular doctor about this or just the psychiatrist? Has he been checked out for physical problems? Had an ultrasound of bladder and bowels? Considered seeing a chiropractor? (A chiro can REALLY help is enuresis is part of the problem.)
Definately make him be responsible for helping to clean himself up. Stick him in the shower each time he does it and make him scrub himself really well.
Keep in mind that getting locked in a power struggle with a child over bodily functions is engaging yourself in a battle that you WILL lose since the child is the only one who can control when/where/if he he urinates or passes a BM.
2006-09-04 16:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They haven't tried the right punishment. Make him clean the pants he soils. He is not only spoiled, but lazy! take away all the video games until he learns to use the toilet. crack down,if he wants to act like a criminal, treat him like one and set strict rules with set times for certain activities.. And punish him for breaking the rules. Make him earn videogame time by doing household chores, and find him another, better therapist, preferably not a psychologist.
2006-09-04 16:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a problem for them & their doctors. No matter how dear these friends are to you there is nothing you can do to help them.
If they are not satisified with the recommendations from their pediatrician & their psychiatrist they should continue to seek help until this problem is fixed.
To me this is a problem just for those in the immediate family.
2006-09-04 16:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the child needs professional help, IF there is nothing wrong maybe they should make him wash out his messy pants by hand, not just throw them in the washer. If the kids is just being a brat, make him wear his poopoo pants
2006-09-04 16:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by bagodwinman 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough situation. Why have they waited so long to seek help? This issue should have been corrected years ago. I'm not sure what advice to offer other than to seek continued medical help.
2006-09-04 16:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by mommysrock 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd make him clean himself. If he does that a couple of times he may stop. He does need a therapist. Find one that can help, or ask his pediatrician to refer one.
2006-09-04 16:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by robee 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would let him sit in his ****. Seriously, and because he is really bratty and 7 years old. I would take him out and spray him down with a water hose until he is cleaned up. Seriously, it just might work. Sounds cruel, but he obviously don't care.
2006-09-04 16:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by tricksy 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋