2006-09-04 16:26:03 · 5 answers · asked by Erik! i didnt think id use this! 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
2006-09-04 17:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A deer and his lion buddy just walked inside a bar for a drink
then the man on the counter said to a customer: "I feel a joke coming on.."
2006-09-04 16:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jc Da Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a bar with a pair a jumper cables under his arm and orders a drink. The bartender said "I'm not serving you." The guy with the jumper cables says "Why not I'm a good guy." The bartender looks him over and says "Okay... but don't start anything."
2006-09-04 16:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by ecogeek4ever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living
room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my
beer.
B I T C H !!!!..
2006-09-04 16:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Squishygirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
one day my kid went to school and the teacher was trying to find a way to entertain them, so she brought some life savers, the kids knew all the original flavors:cherry,lime and all the others so the teacher was really impressed but she had something to fool them,she pulls out a honey life saver and none of the kids could figure it out so she gives them a hint "your mom might call your dad this sometimes" and my kid spit it out and said "everbody quick spit them out their assholes. lol dang thats funny
2006-09-04 16:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by kewl71camino 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋