This is an embarrassing question, but I wouldn't ask it anywhere else so here it goes. Last year I was going out with this guy I met at work and we became good friends. We used to flirt in our class at school and in time our flirting became more physical. One day I was teasing him over the phone and he said "I'm going to spank you next time we meet." The next time we were alone he spoke in this exaggerated accent and pulled me over his knee. I was laughing so hard I didn't even try to stop him. It was kind of cute the first time, but he started doing it a lot until finally I told him to stop because he was overdoing it and he was starting to hit harder. When it started out it seemed harmless, but we broke up partly due to the fact I didn't feel respected by him. There were other reasons too So I was wondering, did this guy think he could dominate me just because I allowed him to spank me? I always thought spanking between a couple could be sexy but maybe I should have been more careful
2006-09-04 16:22:32 · 19 answers · asked by M N 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he didn't have much experience of spanking, or else lacked sensitivity. Yes, spanking between a couple can be very sexy, and so it should be - but it depends on the spanker paying careful attention to his partner's reactions and her body language, finding out what she likes and doesn't like and where her limits are. And a safeword is definitely a good idea, at least the first few times you play together.
Spankings should always be given with love, respect and mutual erotic pleasure, and that's evidently what this guy didn't know. It seems as if you've got a taste for this kind of fun kinkiness - so with luck, you'll meet other men who love to spank, but are a bit more clued up about how to do it.
2006-09-05 00:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think in that type of situation, where you give up control of your body there should always be a safe word for you to use if needed. Also, open communication in any relationship is a must. If you don't voice your concerns about an issue like that or if you did and he didn't listen, then it wasn't going to work in the first place.
Just take it as a lesson learned. Don't stop having fun with your partners, but be cautious and keep communication open. Let the person know how far you want to go before you roleplay or go over someone's knee.
2006-09-04 16:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You're fine. He's just an immature guy who needs to learn a little more about life. You probably helped a little.
It IS sexy between a couple but no guy has any right to belittle you like that. Good for you for dumping the jerk.
2006-09-04 16:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what im wondering like did he start hitting you for no reason at all?like in a abuse way??if not maybe you should of told him that he needed to be more careful with the way he hit you while playing around.or maybe you should of told him after the second time or thrid time that you notice it was getting a lil to rough for you.and you should of said something....i dont think you should read to far into it...i think it was an honest mistake....now for the other tihngs i cant asnwer for you because i dont know what they are....but must of all you should go with your feelings most of all....
2006-09-04 16:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember that anything u dont feel comfortable with is not only not sexy but could be considered abuse.
if he would get this agressive over a phone conversation the first time you mention it should be the last time it happens.
u did right to get out!
2006-09-04 16:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by psychpath64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave him and inch of string and he hung himself with it. He didn'y know what a good thing he had till it was gone. Maybe you can rekindle the friendship,go slowly on the flirting and tell him what you like and don't like. Take care.
2006-09-04 16:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you told him what you felt, you dont like the spanking still he did not stop well good you already broke up with him that is really domineering
2006-09-04 16:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband spanks me sometimes but it is always playful and fun! It is not suppose to hurt! If he was stepping over your boundries, you were right to break up with him.
2006-09-04 16:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by ladydragondale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he got too comfortable being in that dominate position so he kept pushing it harder.......let a guy know next time......set boundries .....it could have led to something worse but you actually spoke up
2006-09-04 16:27:11 · answer #9 · answered by kutrack15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK your lucky if you allowed him to get more comfortable with hitting you he might have steped up where and how hard he sounds freaky
2006-09-04 16:26:35 · answer #10 · answered by ocairde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋