i will do anything to make my boyfriend happy but he wants me to have an abortion if i am but deep down inside i dont want to. please help me i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose my boyfriend, or my baby!
2006-09-04 16:14:19 · 17 answers · asked by Ray 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
This is your decision, because the child will be your responsibility in the long run. If he doesn't want it, then he may leave you and you will have to file for child support. He might come around because I mean you are carrying HIS baby.. THIS DECISION IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU. Even if he does leave you, you will be able to do this on your own. If you want the baby this bad, then you can make it happen. When I found out I was pregnant, there was a part of my fiance and myself that wanted the baby but at the same time, we didn't. Do whats in your heart. You could also consider adoption- but if you want the baby now, you will never be able to let it go when you have it. If you decide to keep it, make sure you tell your parents first because you are going to need all the support you can get. I wish you the best of luck. Congrats if you're pregnant, its a wonderful experience!
2006-09-04 16:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by LiSa B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT HAVE THE ABORTION!
You already know that it's not what you want to do, and if you go through with it, you will not only regret it for the rest of your life, but you will hate yourself for it, and hate him for wanting you to do it, and your relationship will fail anyway.
And he cannot force you to do something like that to your body. He has no say in any of it at all, until after the child is born. Then, he can decide to step up to the plate and be a man, or he can be a complete loser and run away.
If he does the latter, sorry, but you're better off, and you can sue for child support anyway. Hopefully, he'll do the first thing, but based on your question, I doubt he will.
Take a test and find out for sure whether you are pregnant or not, and take it from there, but if you are, remember that the baby is much more important than he is, and he should feel that way too, if he is any kind of man.
He felt that he was big enough to lie down and make the baby, he should be big enough to take care of it.
PLEASE! Don't murder a baby to make some jerk love you. If he's saying you need to kill the baby to keep him, you are better off without him.
2006-09-04 19:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern for both. I'm not sure why women can say "it's my body, It's my choice!" To the baby... but not to there Husband/boyfriend. If you want this kiddo... keep it. I promise you probably LOVE it more thanyou love your boyfriend as soon as you see it. He'll more than likely fall in love with it too. And if you do get an abortion... if you have any heart at all, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You'll always think about your baby's birthday, and the date you had the abortion it will probably be like remembering a death (In my opinion it is.) It's got to be such a horrible feeling...
I got pregnant and my boyfriend didn't want me to keep it and now, me and my (was boyfriend now...) husband have a beautiful 6 week old baby boy. My husband loves him so much! It was all worth it. And if your boyfriend leaves you... he doesn't really love you, and you need better for your child. Good luck!
2006-09-04 16:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by mommymoore06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, you two did this backwards. You two suppose to discuss this BEFORE you two have sex. There, you would of knew is stand point upon having children.
If you are pregnant and want to keep the baby, then keep the baby. Don't have an abortion based on his point of view.
Even if he leaves you, then you must realize he is a dead beat jer.k in the first place. He is just as responsible as you are. If he didn't use a condom, then obviously he has no right to complain about the pregnancy since he didn't do his part to protect from it.
If you are not on birth control, you didn't do your part either. It takes two to protect and takes two to have a baby.
Seems to me abortion isn't your option. If you didn't want the child, then abortion or adoption is your option. But juding your emotion by it "deep down inside I don't want to", it is best you decide what you want in your life.
If he really loved you and cared for you, he would support you. Him doing this "You have abortion cuz I don't want it" seems to me he isn't the best choice for you.
If he leaves, then you will be a single mom. I rather be a single mom than be with someone who doesn't support something he was part in doing.
That is my intake.
2006-09-04 16:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should have the baby, never abort a baby, its not the baby's fault it was created. Now if you love your boyfriend so much that you would choose him over the baby, then have it and give it up for adoption. If not and you want to keep the baby then tell him, he will either come to his senses or he will leave. If he leaves he wouldnt be a good father anyway, and the baby deserves more than that. These are very important things that you need to think about before having sex. If you have sex you need to take responsibility for your actions! not try and take an easy way out!
2006-09-04 16:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl....he saying all that **** now, but in actuality most men are scared, they are afraid to face the truth or what will happen or change, when its really not all that bad. When that baby comes...and he sees that babies face and feel that fatherly bond that he should feel once he sees a split image of him or someone he created...he will have a change of heart. It happens all the time. I know a few friends who have gone through that, and I know that makes you feel bad to know that the one you love isn't there to feel what you feel about what you two have created, but I think you should follow your heart and have the baby and hopefully through the grace of God he will come around. Keep in mind that if you do have an abortion, that will most likely stay on your concsious for a lifetime and mess up your body. If he's not man enough to respect your mind about your decision and what you both have done TOGETHER, then I think you and your baby will be just fine, even though it will be hard to leave him if you really love him ..believe me i know....Well I wish you luck, Pray on it and hopefully everything will be OK.
2006-09-08 10:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by Cee_Cee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poem I wrote describes what I live with now every day of my life, because my boyfriend of three years didn't want anything to do with the child in my womb. I also let my boyfriend convince me that I could not raise my child on my own. I was in a very fragile state of mind, emotionally and physically. All I can say is that I made the biggest mistake of my life not having my baby.
Choices Made
by EL
Regret filled nights
A child with wings
A haunting memory
Oh how it sings
A forever melody
on my mind
Where have you gone
sweet child of mine
Thoughts just pondered
Choices made
A journey beginning
As it's future fades
The power my mind had over me
You were never a reality
Your sweet voice was never heard
Now I hear your every word
You speak to me
From my deepest being
I can't escape you
I do not want to
I long to hold you
If only to explain
I never thought about the pain
How could I rob you of your life?
Full of splendor - Your soul so tender
The agony surrounds me
You are all around me
Do you hear me?
I beg you - Forgive me?
11-03-1999
2006-09-04 16:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by NONAME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way--he's your boyfriend, not your flesh and blood. You will always have your child, but men are like the tide--they come and go. What if you had an abortion, then a few months from now, you guys broke up? How would that make you feel? Your child will always love you unconditionally, your boyfriend might be screwing around on you right now for all you know...
2006-09-06 05:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it doesn't sound like you are sure about being pregnant, so relax and wait and find out first before you get all bent out of shape. I would say that whether you are pregnant or not you should leave him. He is a coward that doesn't know how to own up to his responsibilities. He should have thought about that before coming up in you. If you want to have your baby then do so but know that you are not going to be able to count on your "boyfriend's" sorry A**. You need to decide who you prefer, your baby or your sorry excuse for a "boyfriend". If it turns out you are not pregnant then you need to practice safe sex so that you do not put yourself in the same situation especially since your "boyfriend" is not backing you up now, he will not back you up in the future.
2006-09-04 16:38:58 · answer #9 · answered by hilda c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't have an abortion. It could haunt you for the rest of your life. Your man might pack up and go tomorrow but you will be the one that will have to live with the regret for the rest of your life. You will be resentful if he makes you do something you don't want to do. There are options...and loving, caring people out there. I work for a crisis pregnancy center and see cases like yours all the time. This is a MAJOR life changing decision. Please talk to a counselor. You will NEVER regret giving birth and seeing your baby's face for the first time but the guilt of abortion could last a lifetime. Remember, the heart starts beating at 5 weeks (5 weeks after your last period, not 5 weeks after conception. This is a fact, ask any doctor.)
I will pray for guidance, patience, and wisdom for you. E-mail me if you need to chat!!!! hmbweb@yahoo.com
~Heather
www.lifechoices.org
2006-09-04 16:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by Heather B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋