Do you think it's rude for people to ask "so when are you getting married?"?

Question

.....or "so when are you going to have kids?" People ask me and my boyfriend this all the time, and it's getting annoying.......

There is this one lady always asking us "so when is the wedding date?" Do you ever have to put up with this?

Answer 1

I do think it's rude for people to ask when are you getting married. i face the same problem every now and than.it seems they are more concern about us than we our self are

Answer 2

Yes, it is rude and intrusive. Usually a smile and asking why the person needs to know will cure them of it. Or just change the subject.

If it's someone close to you, you could always try the "when you pay for the wedding" route that someone suggested.

As for the question about having children, it's something people should stop asking immediately. A lot of people struggle with fertility issues and being asked this over and over must be heartbreaking if that is the case.

Answer 3

It's "rude" in the sense that it is inconsiderate of how the question might make you feel, but people asking these questions don't usually mean to be prying and rude. Instead, they are trying to find a way to connect with you--something to talk to you about. Try shifting the converstation to something you are doing or pursuing and give the person something else to inquire about. For example, "Well, actually, right now I am working towards my B.A. in English." This gives the person the opportunity to ask what you hope to do with your degree. Think ahead of some things you can say to steer the converstation. Another way is to take an interest in the other person and ask a question of your own.

Everyone has experienced someone asking a personal question that makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes these people may be intending to be abrasive or mean. For example, there is a large difference in age between my youngest child and my next oldest child. Someone just asked me, "Why did you have a baby after all these years? Don't you know how babies are made?" I just smiled and replied, "Of course I do. Why do you ask?" That stumped her long enough for the conversation to shift in another direction. Just because she was being mean doesn't mean I have to be.

If someone keeps persisting with a question that makes you uncomfortable, be direct. To the lady who keeps asking "when is the wedding date?" say, "Please stop asking me that question. It makes me uncomfortable" or reply (sweetly), "No date yet, why do you keep asking?"

Answer 4

I think it is rude, but hey if you are living togther I don't see anything wrong with asking that. Thing is though I am more old-fashioned and think living togther and having sex before marriage, actually outside marriage, is wrong. So if the question annoys you when you are sleeping togther I'd say stop having sex because that could be part of why they are making the comment. That would still be rude though.

Oh although I can say it is annoying to hear things like that. For instance just because my age, only 26, I still hear people who think I need to have a girlfriend, proably so they can ask when I'm getting married.

Answer 5

I have had that happen and I normally just tell them strait out that I never plan to get married again as long as I live. There is no need to get married because you lose too much when you do. You pay more taxes and most everything else. You can do anything unmarried that you can do married. Did you know even if you are married that if your wife or hubby has a bank account in their name only you can not get in to it?

I can't think of one good reason to get married.

Answer 6

My husband and I have been married for almost four years and I get so damn tired of people asking when are we gonna have kids. That is a personal decision-I have started telling them that we can't have kids(like something is medically wrong with one of us)that shuts them up quick! But America has beat it into everyone's brains to get married and have kids. What if alot of people didn't have kids that were married-so what. They are expensive, time consuming and frankly there are already alot of people on earth already.

Answer 7

I get this a lot when people find out how long my boyfriend and I have been together. It can be annoying at times, but I usually just laugh (politely) and change the subject.

Answer 8

before we were married or even engaged people used to bug me and my hubby about it i was in a pretty pissy mood one day when i was asked by a really nosy and gossipy lady we know and i kid you not i looked at her and told her that considering most marriages end in divorce we think it would be cheaper and easier all around to just hang out and have sex she never asked us again and i could care less about what she spread around but usually i would just tell ppl that we would get married and have kids when we were ready and that is just what we did

Answer 9

Yes and yes.

It's common in some cultures like my own (Asian), but I still think it's rude unless it's from someone who knows you intimately like a family member. You do not have to answer. Just say "when the time is right" and end the conversation.

Answer 10

Yes, it is annoying at first and then just plain rude. I was just married last year so the one we hear the most is "Are you pregnant yet?" I HATE that.

Answer 11

Yes,it is a rude question,just like someone coming up to a woman and asking her,you on your period yet?