Should my friend's sister get her newborn baby taken away?

Question

This girl is 16 yrs. old & neglecting her baby already. She JUST had the baby 2 days ago & just got out the hospital today. She sent her 11-yr. old niece (my friend's daughter) to take the newborn baby to my friend's house alone & by herself, waking 2 miles at night time. 11-yr. old girl walking 2 miles @ night with a fresh newborn baby. ANYTHING could've happened. My friend was SO pissed! Now, my friend is thinking custody of her sister's baby. How long will that take, & would they have to go to court for it?

Answer 1

Your friend should go to the court house tomorrow morning and file for emergency custody of the baby, if she really does want it. At any rate SOMEONE should take the baby away ASAP before something terrible happens to it. Who cares if social services is in your business? If it helps a child does it really matter?

Answer 2

I was 16 years old when I had my first child, he is now 10. I really enjoyed being a mother and never neglected my child, I still had the choice of an abortion when I found out I was pregnant, but I made my decision to keep my baby, knowing the sacrifice and commitment that I was going to have to make.

I am not saying what your friends sister did is right, but we have to look at all eventualities. It may be that she is suffering from post-natal depression, it is very common in all new mothers. It doesn't mean you have to whip the baby away from her as quickly as possible! She needs your support more than your interference.

Does she have her parents close by? Are they willing to help her? What about the father of the child, is he around? It may be that she feels alone.

Becoming a mother is a difficult learning curve, whether you are 16 or 60! If you are a friend of this girl, I would suggest that you try to support her, and make sure that she is well. Either that, or express your worries to her mother or another relative and ask them to talk to her. Post-natal depression can sometimes be hard to diagnose, however, sometimes it is blatantly obvious.

I don't think you should rush into anything drastic, however, if you think that the baby is in serious danger you should take action.
The girls sister needs to talk to her and get to the bottom of this, the worst thing she can do is go behind her back.

If she seriously wants to try to take custody of the baby, she will be facing a long battle in court and hefty legal expenses, unless the girl wants to give up her child. Even then your friend may not get custody of the baby, there are certain procedures to follow, no-one can just go to your friends sisters house, take the baby and hand it to your friend! It doesn't work like that.

If the court thinks that the baby is safe with it's mum they will do everything they can to help her - same with the social services.

Try to think about how you would feel in her shoes, it may be that she only needs the proper guidance.

Answer 3

A baby raising a baby. Have talk with the girl's parent and the father of the child and his parent.And the girls mom and dad don't want nothing the baby then maybe the boy and his family may want the child. And if the both sides don't anything to do with baby have your friend fight for custody. Make sure to prove the child is not wanted by mother and or father and show the child is in DANGER!!!!!! Now our system is very ****** up if for some reason the courts won't allow your friend to have the baby because they think your friend may not be a good provider,then think of a couple who has been trying to have a baby and have no luck and that you know the baby will be loved and taken care of, this way you can present them to courts and tell the court their background and their financial stability and hopefully everything will end well. God bless this child and hopefully this child will be with people who care for him/her when all this is over. Take care of yourself as well sometimes things like this don't end the way we would like and have our own personal feelings involved and get attached. Stay safe and hope everything goes well.

Answer 4

Yeah, because, God forbid, if something happened to that 11 year old and the baby, you are looking at two counts of neglect. And why did your friend's daughter not call her parent(s) to come pick them up? I mean, I think your friend should have taken the little girl to the station and filed a report. I do not know how long it will take but, where are the parents of the 16 year old? I mean, she is still a minor herself. Her parents can be charged with neglecting her and her newborn. I hope to God your friend does get custody of the child, seeing that the baby will be with the family still. I hope it all works out. The quicker your friend does this to get help for the baby and for the 16 year old, the better.

Answer 5

The new mother needs parenting classes. She is a baby having a baby.
There are a lot of young mothers that successfully raise their own children and do a damn good job of it.

So it can't all be blamed on her age. Someone needs to talk to this girl and set her straight about being a responsible parent.
Where is this 16 year olds parents? They should be going to jail for child endangerment. They have a 16 yr old with a child and is not taking care of either one of them. That is shameful
They are really being a good example to this young mother now arent they.
Someone needs to talk to child protective about the situation. About the 16 yr old with the baby AND about the grown adults who should know better that are not taking care of their child nor their grandchild. At 16 they are still legally responsible for her.
They are the ones who should be held accountable for the situation.

And YES if your friend wants custody of the baby then she is going to have to go to court in order to get it. And she has to be able to prove that the mother is unfit. And even then they will put the mother into counseling, parenting classes etc before they will take her child from her.
Where as I do not agree with what this young girl is doing with her child.....and something needs to be done and quickly.
Lets put the blame in the correct place......With the 16 yr olds parents. This girl sounds like a victim of negligent parents and she is only doing what she has been taught and what she has had to live with.
She needs help to break out of life's circumstances and she needs help learning to live in a different way then what she has been taught by her parents
She needs help.......she needs to be taught how to be a parent. Because evidently her parents never taught her what a real family is suppose to be.
Help her, don't condemn her. Get her some parenting classes, get her some help with social services or some where.

Answer 6

How sad. At bare minimum, this child should take some serious parenting classes and be supervised until she gets the hang of things (if she ever does.)

It sounds like she wouldn't put up too much of a fight, but even if she is 100% willing to turn over the baby, yes they would have to hire a lawyer and go to family court. The judge would start by putting the baby in the friend's custody temporarily while a decision was being made (if she was considered a fit foster parent.)

It could take over a year for an official adoption to be final, but the baby could be in your friend's home by next week on a temporary basis.

Answer 7

Im sure any custody situation would have to go through a court, And obviously this 16 yr old is so not ready to be a mother... I wouldnt let an 11 yr old out at night to walk 2 miles let alone with a newborn baby. As to how long it would take Im not sure... most court systems take forever... maybe she could get temporary custody... my advice is to have your friend talk to a lawyer

Answer 8

omg
she needs to take responsibility! like now!!!!
My freiend she got pregnant 16 and had the baby wen she was 17, and until she got out of high school, her mom stayed home and took care of the baby, but now she is 4 years old and the mother and daughter r soooooo close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So u r gonna need to wait and see, but always do whats best for the kid. And the 11 year oldd, walking alone at nite, not the best idea either! Carlie Brucia was walking home when she was 11 years old when she was walking home in the evenig b4 the sun set! So be CAREFUL!!!!!

Answer 9

Unless the 16 year old is willing to sign a temporary custody agreement (which may or may not be entirely legal), your friend is probably going to have to go to court.

Might it be better for your friend to give the 16 year old some guidance towards being a better mother before taking the baby away?

Answer 10

I would try suggesting parenting classes if she does want to keep her baby. She is probably immature and doesn't know what to do and could be very well depressed. Have your friend talk to her and find out what her feelings are and what may be wrong...I wonder the same thing, where are her parents? Maybe she feels alone and needs to be reassured she isn't. But if she doesn't want to care for her baby then your friend needs to find this out. This is very sad.