caught my boyfriend!! need help?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend 6 months, (im 26 and hes 29). Ive always had problems trusting him.
I found out his email password and check it all the time, cause I didnt trust him.
I went on it this morning, and hes joined upto an adultfriendfinder. sex site, put photos on their and updated his profile asking for discreet fun, and where it said relationship- said prefer not to say,
Im going to confront him about this tonight, I know hes going to lie and say he just went on there for porn or fun and not to actually meet girls.
What should I do, say to him when I confront him, has anyone been in the same situation. I know it will probebly end up with me breaking up with him. Need help, please. Im devastated

Answer 1

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If you know he's going to lie, play his game and catch him in the act. Get a new Yahoo id and write to him and see if he'll write back. Then if he lies you can show him proof.

Answer 2

HEY! You sound like me exactly , like a few yrs ago. My bf got into adultfriendfinder too!
He even paid to be a gold member. He email the girls there, send teases. And yes, I got his email password without him knowing!

U noe wad i did? I got a profile there too, hook him up. Pretend to be some chick, put some other girl's photo to be more convincing, even to the extend of making my friend help me to sms him.

Caught him red handed at somewhere we "suppose" to meet. He was with his friend. He didnt expect me to be there of course.
He claims that he wants to know if the girl is for real, cause he suspected that gal (who is me) is somebody he knows. Cause no gals will respond to his email or teases.
Yes that is quite true, cause there are really like less than 3 that responded.
He got a logical explanation and that is , if all the girls in there really ae that horny as they claim, and so pretty as they show, den why do they bother to wait by the computer for someone to email them. They can simply go to a pub, and have no lack of suitors. (make sense?)
If they r really so horny, there wouldnt be rape isnt it?
And he proved to me that there are repeats profiles. Such as the same content, same pics, but different nick. They even featured a celebrity's ad there! How fake is that?!
So gal, is either you trust him or you don't.
No one knows your bf really well other than you. No point asking for answers here, as we can only guess his intentions.
Im sure he will be pissed to know that you know what he is doing online. Keep on checkin on his online activities will wear you out mentally, i've been there. I've checked on his email everyday, saw MANY things i wish i didnt c. But you know what? I realised that he will not meet those gals. I met some guys there too. From adultfriendfinder, and i found a guy friend. A true friend, not some hanky panky **** they claimed. Really, that guy got to know some gals from there too. and they are not all horny and slutty.
Don't confront your bf please.. I did. He would have this coming, and rehearse everything already. He will be mad at you for checkin up on him. Like my bf said:" who wants a PI with him all the time. Knowing full well what are his hours like.. what he does.. so close to him, and yet checking up on him"
You will be hurt in the end.
Wait and see what happens.. but do not do what i did like pretending to be someone in there.

Answer 3

I went through the same exact thing and I feel your pain sweetie. My ex signed up to a few different sites to meet women and was getting nasty pics sent to him from women he must of been chatting with. When we first met he gave me his password because evidently he had the trust issues and wanted me to know that him spending time online was nothing to worry about. About 9 months into our relationship he started accusiing me for things I wasn't doing and acted totally different, so needless to say I checked his account. He denied EVERYTHING..He said that someone must have got into his account and the sites that were in his email were spam mail.. Of course I didn't buy it!! Like an idiot I stayed with him for months after that only to find out that he wasn't the man I met and had a VERY bad temper and a lack of respect towards women. We are both 29 and he will never change. I think that the only thing that doesn't change is someones personality. Girl, I am an attractive girl who in that time lost my self esteem because of that - dont put up with his lies and go through the pain I did. He is going to be embarrassed, angry, and hurt all at the same time when you confront him. Be strong and dont buy his crap. You did nothing wrong and shouldn't feel like you did. Good luck and if you need to chat email me. Let me know what happens..

Answer 4

It varies from person to person. It may be harmless fun. But obviously you had an issue from day one, checking his e mail is not cool, how would you feel if he did it to you.
It seems like this is what you've been waiting for. I think you need to end this, or work really hARD ON YOUR TRUST ISSUES. And I speak from experience. My ex had such a problem he was convinced I was doing all kinds of things , especially with some guy at work. I was doing nothing. He drove me so crazy about it though I slept with the other guy one night because hey, if they wont believe you, why not do it anyway?

Answer 5

don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. you can't go around feeling like this all the time. there is one thing about looking at porn but i know that adultfriendfinder is people looking for people. i would not trust him because if you keep him around he will probably do it again that is not good for you just get over him now and move on you will definitely find some one to treat you better i know for a fact not having trust in someone is a horrible feeling and stresses you out good luck to you i hope everything turns out good

Answer 6

I can't say anything but that you're right not to trust your boyfriend more especially now that you've found out that he's doing something behind your back.

No amount of confrontation can take away that attitude. This time, you should search your heart and soul. Ask yourself if you can forgive him (if he asks for forgiveness) for what he has done and continue your relationship with him but with his commitment that he won't do things similar to that one and trust him when he gives you that commitment for as long as you know it's coming from his heart.

If you can't trust him anymore with the belief that he can't really be trusted, then, it's far better for you to separate ways with him and believe me, you will have more peace of mind if you find someone whom you deserve better.

But don't forget Destiny also. Even if you part ways with your boyfriend now, if you are meant for each other, Destiny will do his share someday, somehow, in bringing you back to each other's arms. If not, let Destiny lead the right man to your path. Good luck.

Answer 7

If you dont trust him just leave him. No relationship can work without trust. If he is choosing to have fun else where then it is time to find out why he is running away from you? Its time to ask yourself what is it that you need to change. How have you been in this relationship?
It is good to sort out your own self esteem issues first before getting into any relationship. I am not trying to blame you for whatever is happening, but if he is going out to seek other fun and still wants to keep you, it shows what respect he has for woman. Do you want ot be with a person who has not respect for women? Think it over, Its eventually comes down to who and what you want/

Answer 8

Don't confront him. You invaded his privacy by using his password and reading his e mail. Just tell him good bye. You may have been right about the cheating, but you are too untrusting and jealous either way.
You need to get your own issues under control before you can be in a relationship. What you did is wrong, you aren't his wife. You overstepped your boundaries big time. You should have just asked him if he was cheating, and if you still thought he was lying break it off.

Answer 9

Don't say anything. It won't do you any good. MOVE ON. Don't waste your time in a relationship with no trust...you know what will end up happening so why would you want to put yourself through that. Cut him loose and find someone better. (and don't go for the same kind of guy)

Answer 10

You shouldn't have been that insecure in the first place. Why the hell do you go out with him if you can't trust him? I think that the #1 hint that shows that you clearly can't trust him is when you sunk low enough check his e-mail behind his back. When you confront him, don't be surprised that he is going to dump you before you even get the chance to do that same.

Answer 11

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