I had a girlfriend that left me way back in January, but for some reason, painful memories keep coming back and just "haunt" me. I want to get over her, but I can't. I keep telling myself "As long as she's happy, I'm happy", but that's beginning to not work.
Help?
2006-09-04 14:12:57 · 22 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1st off - Not a stalker.
2nd - She says I said "I love you" TOO much and she didn't know if it was real or not. I kept saying it because I didn't want to lose her, I wasn't bad or anything like that, no abuse whatsoever.
3rd - I'm a guy, and 16.
2006-09-04 14:21:09 · update #1
I think the reason your mantra "As long as she's happy, I'm happy" is not working is because you don't really believe it. You are obviously not happy because you are still feeling loss in her absence.
I think it is a bad idea to follow people's advice to simply "get another girlfriend". I think you'll be dissatisfied no matter how great this new girl is because you're still thinking about this other girl. Perhaps you might find yourself even comparing the new girl with your ex-girlfriend. It's only going to put a strain on things.
I agree that you should try to put your mind onto other things - your family and friends, a new hobby, art (if you are artistically inclined), listen to music (don't listen to sad, mopey songs or love-related songs, but up-beat, pop songs).
Hopefully you'll come to the realisation that life goes on, and it's not worth dwelling too much on the past, because the past is gone now. Get out there, there are more fun and exciting adventures to be had ahead of you!
2006-09-04 15:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by Satinette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kinda going through the same thing right now. But for me, it's more recent. I wouldn't recomend trying to get back together with her. Most likely, she has moved on. If she hasn't, then maybe you should atleast talk to her and tell her how you feel. But be careful because you might just be setting yourself up for more pain. You probably just need closure. If you feel guilt, say sorry and move on. If you feel rejected, find acceptance from somebody else. If you feel like maybe just maybe you two have a chance, find out if you do or not. If you feel betrayed, it's not your fault. If you feel lonely, try to be more social. If you feel depressed, change your thinking and go do stuff even if it doesn't sound fun. These things seem to be working for me. Most likely though bro...we both just need new chicks. Hope this helps
2006-09-04 21:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend in almost this exact situation. The only remedy I see is to get another girlfriend as quickly as possiible. Im not saying fall completely in love, just somebody to give you perspective for a while as time goes by and heals the wounds.
The problem is that that hole that she left is just a need you have to wanted. Being rejected sucks. So get your friends and your hobbies and job and distractions and start getting busy with your life and what you like as much as you can.
Trust me, there are a lot of women in the world. She obviously was'nt worth it. She's not worth it to be sad about is she? Leave her be and go outside and play with the rest of the fishees.
2006-09-04 21:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by theholotrope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard is it. I had a bad break up this summer and all the memories keep coming back to me to. It takes time to get over someone you loved. Just try and stay busy and make new friends. Try doing new things like exercise class or a new hobby. YOu will get over him if you wanna talk im me.
2006-09-04 21:18:09 · answer #4 · answered by jenks1545 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel i broke up with my before in may and i didn't know how to move on either i still don't but i am just look she left you she didn't love you if someone loves you they never leave no matter what
don't beat yourself up about it i know it hurts because i'm hurting about my split but imagine if she was leading you on and you could be hurting alot more
don't be afraid to meet other girls i was and still am to meet new guys but come on don't be a victim don't suffer because she left she obviously didn't care and that's not cool at all don't be afraid to cry i know your a guy but it helps it helped me i had no one when my bf decided to go i was by myself and i still odn't have no one to help me get over this pain just talk about it that's the best thing to do say what your feeling out loud it helps to hear the pain coming from the heart just don't feel bad for her mistake i'm sure your a gorgeous person don't let yourself go down because of it you don't have to be happy for her but you can learn to lett go it will help you more...i hope i helped a little if you ever want to talk you can email me angelgrl006@yahoo.com
2006-09-04 21:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by Ashli L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a new love interest to replace her. Try to get out and see people. It will happen if you give it a chance. Just tell yourself how lucky another girl will be to have you and I'm sure that's true. C'mon! Don't waste your life pining over the past. You're worth more than that.
2006-09-04 21:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is a cure of getting over someone. Its never easy. You just need to keep yourself busy. Do things you like to do. Hang out with friends, see other people. Eventually it will get better and the pain will dull. Good luck
2006-09-04 21:15:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? You seem very sweet. It's hard getting over love. My advice....keep yourself busy. Hang out with family and friends. Just remember... she is probably not putting as much energy as you are in remembering you. You seem like a cool guy. I'm sure you'll find someone who deserves your love.
2006-09-04 21:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the negative stuff in ur relationship.. why didnt it work...?
Next, find someone to fill her place!! its been a long time! Its easier than it sounds.. start going out and asking peopple out more... u never know!
Also, distract yourself... exercise and hobbies, like tennis or running or something can take your mind of her and on something more useful
2006-09-04 21:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how long you two were together but you still need to allow yourself more time. Dont worry that it wont ever happen.... because some day you will think of her less and less and notice that you don't love her like you once did. Have you thought about dating again?
2006-09-04 21:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋