First things first I just need to know what's right what's wrong who is at fault and what can I do? OK so Me and his sister have "never really liked each other" While him and I dated she was always raunchy and rude with me... putting me on hold/not giving him the phone/lying saying his isn't home/not giving him messages.. etc etc. I concluded she treated every girl who called for him like this and she was sick of people calling for her brother.. (Al tells me she was always jealous cos he had better social skills but I dunno) another detail is apparently she is friends with this ex girlfriend of his. He told me the ex girlfriend stayed friends with the family because she still loved him and wanted to stick around to get back together.. which mind you never happened ... blah blah blah... so its not like the sister and the ex girlfriend were friends first... so this ex girlfriend remained in the picture for years... scoaping out his new girlfriends.. happily being a rebound if Al was board. Apparently by the time me and him got together this chick got a life and popped out a few kids so she wasn't around for a while... but get this .. ok so just so you know... me and Al have been together nearly 7 years and we have the baby who is 2 years old... .. while we dated in the beginning there was plenty of drama and him and I broke up more than a few times and whatever happens when one is single to mingle is fine ... so I guess like I said the sister and the ex are friends and apparently during one of the times me and Al broke up and he moved back in with his mom or while the mom was outta town the sister and Al had a party and I can only assume the ex was over because... way later I did the math and I noticed Al mentioned he got some rare records back from this same ex-girlfriend... so whatever the point is I'm sure he probably screwed her cos he wanted the records back....so about this ex... I've seen the pictures and home girl has got nothing on me... She is pretty much a butter face. Al admits he dated her cos they shared the same style and taste in music in high school... and the record shows he started dated better looking chicks as he got older and wiser...
I'm not jealous or threaten by this ex at all. As far as me and the sister... we try hard to be friends but its so fake I can vomit. I basically don't keep in touch with her. If and when we see each other she is nice to my son and we are cordial to one another... so the story goes here we are present day with the whole myspace deal being all the rage... & get this the sister and the ex are all buddy-buddy on myspace... comments and all dude... and the fact is IM HARD UP ABOUT IT. Its very hard to be the sister's friend. I feel the sister has a bunch gull being friends with this braud. She is my son's Auntie and that should count for something. I would love to get along with her but its not easy and I dunno what do to... I would love for my son to have his aunt in his life but its so hard for me to like the sister..... I asked Al about it and he pretty much "has his own opinions" about his sister. Basically she wasn't the most pleasant person to live with. He loves his sister but she never listen to him so he ends up nagging to his mom about it... to no avail mind you.
I dunno who's got the problem. What can I do? I will take your advice seriously. What can I tell the sister. I am aware I cant be telling people who to be friends with and thus far I haven't and "would never" do that. But I need some sort of peace to live happily with my man's family.
2006-09-04 12:50:26 · 12 answers · asked by smilingontime 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If I were you, I'd just ignore whatever activities going on with your sis-in-law, just as you don't see, don't hear, don't know.
Think nothing about this issue. Detach emotionally from it. Then you'll be at peace.
She's doing it to irritate you only, and it's evil of her behavior.
If you response with disgust, she'll be happy.Because that's her intention.
2006-09-04 13:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow I bet that felt good to let all that out! Have you let your husband read this? It might give him a better perspective on what you're feeling.
I would say just be kind to your sister-in-law. That will make her think the most about you - and give her less of a reason to be mean to you. Try not to be bitter, okay? Like you said, you got the better end of the deal - you got the man and your son. You are the one who can be happy and grateful, and still be nice to others.
It might be hard, and I don't know if this is a possibility, but it might help to talk with your sister-in-law or even Al's ex. Talking it out - in a civilized, kind manner, mind you! - is generally very helpful in resolving a situation. Being happy is so much better than being angry.
2006-09-04 13:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you can do is shorten this novel to a readable length. The gal is an EX...why do you care? Get over it, it really is no big deal. The sister makes a fool of herself with this bull, and the EX does the same...IF I were you, I would be very, very kind to them both, smile, wave, and in fact, I think I just might THANK the ex for such a great gift of a husband that you got! (That would be the frosting on the cake, now wouldn't it be? ) There are more ways to skin a cat than with anger, hon..try some of these ideas out..you may just have a great time with it. And when the sister sees that you are untouchable, she will change her act...perhaps not nice, but she will try to find new ways to get under your skin..why let her win? Don't be silly.
2006-09-04 12:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I was almost in a similar situation a couple years ago. My husband's ex just popped over to his mom's house one day to say "hi" (they had been broken up for about 10 years). She had no idea he was married ( 4 years at the time). She also saw my sister in law who she was very close with back in the day. She gave everyone her phone number/address and wanted to become friends again and hang out.
I didn't really care about it, but then it started to get a little weird. Luckily my mother in law saw the problem with it and talked to her daughter about why she should throw the number away and not contact the ex. The best thing you can do is talk to his family and tell them how you feel - if that doesn't get them to change then I don't know what will.
2006-09-04 12:55:02 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girl......when i met my hubby, his sisters were so threatened they couldn't see straight. This was because he was taking care of them financially. But today, we hardly ever hear from them . EXCEPT WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING. My point is live your life and be sweet as pie. This way if some **** goes down, at least you and your hubby know you tried your best to be friends and to get along. If this doesn't work then let your husband know you will not live this way and make it his problem to solve. And if that doesn't work let him know there is man out there who's sister will love you!!! Not a threat just let him know you don't have time for that silly high school ****.
2006-09-04 14:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by denavirgo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people do things to bother you, take the wind out of their sails by not being bothered. It then becomes a waste of time for them. Even if it is the biggest fake job you ever had to do. It really is important to get along with his family. OK, don't choke up on this next one. This would be the poker hand that wins the game. Become friends with the old ex. OK, OK, don't choke, think about it. If your guy is done with her you have nothing to worry about.
2006-09-04 13:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow that's jus so much to stomach.
Well we do have something in common the sister in law hatred is mutual.
The best advice i can tell you is don't allow her to even cause any distress in your relationship with your husband and keep your distance, maybe the only reason why she kept so close to her brother ex was jus to piss you off.
Believe me they will try at anything to make your life misrable but you got to be bigger than that and show that it's not bothering you
Becuz she will continue to rub it in more.
Jus keep your distance be polite as possible.
2006-09-04 13:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by tutsie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that was some background.
The sister is using the ex to rib you. I guess she would say "you can't tell me who to be friends with."
Your husband needs to 'stand up' to his sister and ask her to cut the crap so that you guys can have an amicable relationship. Constantly bringing the past into the present is not a good thing.
2006-09-04 13:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by KrautRocket 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Damn girl u sound like me and yea id be pissed off .but I dont know what u can do about it just make sure he s not friends with her... I hate b!+ch3$ like that.. There so desperate. Good luck sweetie. And congrats on your bby!
2016-03-26 22:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw the SIL, she can be friends with whoever she wants. I'd think of it this way: I have the person in my life I wanted and it sure as hell isn't her. And she can live with the facts.
2006-09-04 12:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋