I have a boyfriend whom I've known for almost 20 years. We met when through my brother when he was in kindergarden-I'm a year older. Anyways at one time, my boyfriend was a Christian, like I am. Some things happened to him when he was a teenager that made him turn away from believing. His beliefs became agnostic. We started dating a few years later, and it almost seems like he believes in God, but he can't "forgive" God for the things that happened to him. I've talked to him about religion & he tells me that he's not sure if he believes or not, he "questions it". But if/when things get bad for me in my life, he'll go to church with me for "moral support", or he'll tell me to pray about it if I think it'll help. I love him very much, & want nothing more than for him to just believe again. I want him to give up his demons & start over, even if it means losing him. I just need advice on if how I should try to save him, or if I should leave the situation alone, which I'm not sure I can do.
2006-09-04 12:33:08 · 38 answers · asked by vicki 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm not Christian, but I -am- pretty much agnostic. I was also raised Christian, like it appears your boyfriend was, so I'd like to try and help from this perspective.
It seems to me that he may be confused right now about his own beliefs. Pushing him and preaching at him will not help. If he's already angry at YHWH (or just at the concept of a god), then he'll be likely to take that anger out on those who are trying to "bring him back into the fold." He needs to work out those questions on his own; it is the only way that he can honestly say that he does believe, if that is the decision he ultimately makes.
My suggestion to you is to set a good example, allow him to see how your religion and religious community helps you in your life, and invite him to come to church with you when you go. If he truly wants to rejoin the religion, then he will. If he honestly no longer believes, he doesn't need you making him feel bad or threatening him with eternal damnation (not that you'd do that, but you know what I mean.) Good luck.
2006-09-04 12:41:27 · answer #1 · answered by N 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
1. An individual cannot be a christian and then decide they don't want to be. The WORD says they came from us but were not of us. When you accept Christ as your Savior you are sealed until the day of redemption. You love your friend because you have know him for so long, however, a close human (flesh) relationship does not justify to go against the word of GOD. His word states "what does light have to do with darkness." Also I can't help but ask myself if your are really saved yourself or has the god of this world deceived you. GOD is not a fire insurance policy! He is our creator and the Beginning and the End. GOD is our lover, friend, companion, father and everything else that could be said about HIM. Do you only go to your family when you are in trouble? Do you talk to them because you love them? Well, why would you treat the ALMIGHTY any different?
My suggestion is this:
1. Get your own mindset in the right direction and then you will not have to ask the question you have. Get an easy to read translation of the Bible (New King James International Version) and read. There are study subjects listed in the back of the book.
2. Get involved with some very sound christian teachings. Go to some web sites: Gospelcom.net; Love Worth Finding.org; Fuller Theological Seminary just to name a few.
GOD Bless You and may he give you HIS peace to this question.
2006-09-04 13:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by studdababa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to paste a response I have posted before about marrying an unbeliever---that is, someone who rejects Christ as their Savior. Why would I refer to marrying an unbeliever. Well, technically the Bible doesn't say not to date an unbeliever; but the Bibles DOES say not to marry one. Logic says you will eventually marry someone you've dated. If you are not supposed to marry an unbeliever, why would you date one? Read on.
It is very dangerous for a Christian to marry someone who has not made a heart and life commitment to Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. To be ready for marriage spiritually means, first of all, that both parties involved have accepted Christ and eagerly intend to make Christ the Head of their home. To consider marriage without the possibility of spiritual agreement is to invite argument and unhappiness into the future household.
I would not guarantee that with becoming a Christian, the whole problem of marriage and the home is automatically solved. But I do say that complete fulfillment in marriage can never be realized outside of the life of Christ. ... I would advise every couple planning to establish a home to first come to a complete agreement on their religious faith." Amos 3:3 states: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"
God ordained marriage to be a "perfect triangle"—God, you, and your spouse. The closer each marriage partner lives to God, the closer each will live to the other. Such closeness is impossible when one spouse does not have a personal relationship with God. This is the reason the Bible says we should not be unequally yoked; read 2 Corinthians 6:14-15. The apostle Paul applies this principle in the case of widows when he writes, "But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39b).
2006-09-04 13:19:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From where should you save him? From his doubts? You can only convince about your belief but he is not sinning for doubting. Help him remove the doubts but there is nothing to save from a man who is doubtung, there is only convincing needed.
When we were given free will, we made actions to ourselves freely that may affect the lives of people around us. It could be immediate it could take time. Whatever is it that happened to you or to anyone that gave you sorrows or disappointments, is part of life that could be considered a learning process. We are not exactly pawns like chess pieces where God moves us from one winning or losing points. Someones action or your own actions may have cause your sorrows not God.
I really do not know what made your boyfriend become agnostic but there are things he has to weigh himself and not put the blame on anyone.
2006-09-04 12:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by Rallie Florencio C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was raised fundamentalist Christian but has such a deep level of empathy, understanding, and compassion that gives her a degree of spiritual insight and love for others. With this, she never judges, never preaches, never feels a need to argue about religion, and sees both sides (believers and non-believers) as the same and not at odds. She has gone beyond the rigid fundamentalism but doesn't find any need to dismiss it or attack it or even label herself one way or another. Her family's identity is all about their christian faith and she stays in the background, just being part of all the love. I'm not a believer and there's no issue at all - no questions of what it means for us, nothing -- she just loves me and she loves her family and she sees that beneath all of these opinions and beliefs, there are people to be loved and understood. She's taught me more about spirituality (by NOT teaching) than anyone could ever do. This may help in your area.
2006-09-04 12:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
we should always try to save the non believer! it's our responsibility as a christian. if your boyfriend is already a saved christian, he just needs prayers and support from you and others to reconcile with the Lord, show him romans 8:28. ask the Lord to help bring him back and help him see the truth in the situation that hurt his relationship with the Lord. if he still goes to church and helps you out in prayer he's not that far lost. God bless. i'll pray for you.
2006-09-04 12:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by 4hym 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't save your boyfriend. If he knows the lord then he knows better. Course everyone knows God, even the demons and in hell believe in God. It's wheither he belives in him with his whole heart or not. He needs to learn to forgive. God forgave him of his sins. So, he can forgive what happenend to him. Don't cry to God everytime something happens if that's the only time he goes to him. That's not good. So, all you can do is pray for him and encourage him and tell'em God loves him and that's all you can do. If he really is serious about God, then he'll go back to him. Just Pray for him.
2006-09-04 12:42:25 · answer #7 · answered by katie p 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
God holds us responsible for what we "know". As a Christian, you are responsible for telling him the truth! If you don't share what you know, you WILL be held responsible! However, this does not mean to force anything on your boyfriend.
God does not FORCE us to do anything. He provides us with all the necessary information for our prosperity and grants us a CHOICE whether we will receive it or not. All you have to do is remind your boyfriend that God still loves him. You can tell him that God wants him to come back to Him, point out all that God is currently doing in his life and show him all the things he has to be thankful for. Encourage him to read the bible and let him get back to God on his own.
You cannot "make" him believe again. Fulfill God's expectations of you and pray for him and maybe even with him because that's all you can do!
2006-09-04 12:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by NGE 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It says somewhere that a believing wife will carry her
unbelieving husband into the Kingdom with her. If he isn't that bad of a guy, give him some time. Claiming to be something
doesn't mean a thing. It's how we live our life that matters.
2006-09-04 12:46:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show by example. If you are strong about your faith then don't let him detour you from it...especially if he is willing to attend church with you. Just be headstong and go to church and answer any questions that he may have...but don't push issues on him...that will put him into a defensive mode.
If you have a good priest or minister, then sooner or later a message with strike home. And, evenually he may want to talk to that priest or minister regarding his problems. Basically if he is willing to listen, he will come around. He doesn't sound like a lost cause. ; )
Hope this helps
2006-09-04 12:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Chistiaŋ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋