I know this girl who I have a lot of respect for and like very much. She is younger than me, and still in college. She has a boyfriend, although I have known her longer. I have made it known that I like her. We haven't really talked that much since I told her this, just emails about plain stuff. She is really insecure about relationships, and fears a break up with her boyfriend. She has even expressed to me that she hopes that this relationship is the last time. This disturbs me on a level I have yet to be disturbed on. I will never understand how a person who is 21 would even consider this with there whole life ahead of them. I have always thought that I would give her an alternative to this premature commitment, so I have remained her friend regardless. I am not the type to sit back and be aquaintenced though, and I am considering confronting her about what she hopes for the future. I would rather lose her outright, than sit back and watch this happen. What should I do.
2006-09-04 12:16:47 · 11 answers · asked by 15fsg546rge1rrheljh45hjr90459ty3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Content yourself to be her friend. Girls that age don't want any easy catch. Let her live her life and make her own mistakes.
2006-09-04 12:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by all1g8r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really sounds like u have already answered your own question. At this point u really have nothing to lose. if u do nothing she stays with this guy, unless she magically sees the light. If u confront her with your intentions she may still stay with this guy and in turn that will hurt u. or she'll see that there is more out there and give it a chance with u. She probably has been so hurt from past experiences that she just doesn't want to start all over again. And can u really blame her. My best advice is to not to lay all your cards on the table at one time. do it slowly and show her that u are for real. if she is attracted to u at all she should pick up on things and once the idea is in her head, the rest will come together.
2006-09-04 19:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a true friend to stick around with her.
People have many out looks. Some people take things as they come, some people plan for the future, and some stare at their past.
I think you should comfront her and tell her to stop trying to make the relationship last. If her boy friend likes her, she should be able to be herself and the guy should continue to like her. If not, than she should get a new boyfriend. Stand by her the entire way. You'll earn a great friend and at the same time you'll help someone's life
2006-09-04 19:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy with the friendship....or back out completely. Because at this point confronting her would not be productive. This girl is 21 and has a mind of her own. If she decides she would like to have you as more than a friend she will lose the other guy.
But you can't make someone feel something for you that they don't.
2006-09-04 19:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do depends on how much you like her. If you like her enough, you would stay friends even if she doesn't want a relationship. She's frustrated about relationships in general, give her time but realize that there is a possibility she may never change her mind. But don't pressure her too much at this point, it will probably give you a negative reaction.
2006-09-04 19:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you want to hear this or not, chances are you will lose her. You are being pushy in a way she doesn't like. You already know she isn't looking to leave him by the fact that she backed off from you after you let your intentions show. Also, find out whether she views you as "the friend" without being pushy! For now she still wants him. If you keep trying to interfere w/ that she will see it as you trying to get in the way of her happiness.
2006-09-04 19:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by Dog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well no matter what It's going to be her decision, maybe she's in love with love itself and is just ready to give up the thought of dating anyone else and just settle down. I think you should express your feelings to her, you got nothing to lose, you might get a response you like or maybe she's still too immature and can't deal with the reality of it all. good luck go for it!!!
2006-09-04 19:21:38 · answer #7 · answered by Jax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really don't know how anyone can make any kind of commitment statement to any one person at any time. I mean there are just so many options out there.
2006-09-04 19:20:39 · answer #8 · answered by elman411 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you need to stop sitting in the shadows and let her know how you feel about her. basically everything you said in your question should be said to her. meet up with her again to rekindle your friendship then who knows, it could turn into something more.
2006-09-04 19:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by christinaz22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
step back. the emotional involvement means your not thinking clearly.
2006-09-04 19:18:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋