i am a 45 year old woman thats lives in america and he is a 23 year old muslin that lives in jordan...we met on the internet and are very much in love..its been 3 months and he ask me to marry him...he comes frome a very good family background...all my family and friends are against it...most of all my daughter and son is older then him...remember now that i have been divorced for 20 years...and broke off 3 engagements in that time...he is much older thinking then me sometimes...and he is still a virgin......
2006-09-04 12:10:48 · 25 answers · asked by nightirene45 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Until you have spent time together physically (not sexually) being in the same room having daily interaction... you won't know..
The internet is a strange place that excellerates feelings and emotions.. All you have is talk (words on a screen), photographs (moments captured and chosen meticulously to send)....
For me the age difference isn't an issue... Love comes in many different ages and as long as both parties are of legal age and consenting then that is fine...
I do however have a problem with the difference in religion, the muslim religion is an overwhelming all incompassing religion, with very strict laws regarding interactions between men and women (even those who are married)... Have you stopped to think about how disagreements ect. will be handled and whether or not you are willing and able to live under muslim law? Most american women will chaff very quickly at the strict muslim laws governing thier marriages....
Your family and friends know you well and them being against this should tell you alot...
We have all heard the adage "Love is blind" However what we rarely hear is the rest of the story... Love is blind, but it is also deaf, dumb and irrational... Step back and take a close look at this love, I think you will be very suprised to see that words on an computer screen don't hold the same value when looked at logically instead of through the destorting screen of "love"...
2006-09-04 12:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want to come to America? Have you asked him that? Why would a man, younger than your own children want to have anything to do with a woman your age? He's from a culture that typically marries when they are older to much younger women. Why would he marry someone as old as his mother? How do you know he's a virgin? Cause he told you so over the internet? Please think that through.
Your friends and family are against it because it sets off every alarm they have. He's never met you but he asks you to marry him. He says he's from a good family background but yet they have no problem with him marrying an American woman twice his age, he's known three months over the internet. Absolutely none of that makes any sense. Do you have any idea of the value of men in his culture? Why would his family think it was a great idea for him to marry a woman who cannot bear him son's?
You are being scammed. If you don't think so, then why don't you tell him that you will be traveling to Jordan to meet with his parents to arrange the wedding. See how long it takes him to either disappear or tell you that unfortunately his entire family died in a flaming car wreck and there is no reason for you to travel there.
Listen to your friends and family, they are right.
2006-09-05 00:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've been divorced for 20 years, broke off 3 engagements, and now want to marry guy after knowing him ONLY THROUGH THE INTERNET for 3 months?
I think you're blindsighted by him. I'm sure he is great, but have you ever met him physically?
I'm sure that he thinks very maturely. I'm sure he's still a "virgin."
However, I would double think what you're getting into. Why did you get divorced? Why did you break off your enagements?
1) Get physically involved with him--your marriage will be based off of physical contact. Without that, it's not even a real relationship. It's just a relationship for the emotions.
2) Talk about where you will live, does he want kids, etc. You are taking away his youth!
3) Talk with your family. They should have a say too.
I think you want this to work even though you know in your heart that you just want to be 23 again. Don't stil away his youth.
2006-09-04 19:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Lets talk about this.
1. You met over the internet.
2. Its only been 3 months
3. Your much older than him. I'm all for it if you want to be a couger but get to know him better first. See number 2
4. He's from Jordan. The attitude over there is women are seen and not heard. Since you are from a western culture can you handle that?
5. Have you thought he is justing using you to get over here and out of Jordan?
You said all of your family is against it. Take the advice or at least slow down and think about. Don't do anything you'll regret.
2006-09-04 19:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by geminiidream63 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think the age difference is a problem. What may be a problem is how long you have been talking to this guy. Have you met him in person or just been talking on the internet? How does your kids feel about this? I would also check into why he has picked someone from the United States. Is he just wanting a green card or is he interested in you as a person? I would seriously think about these things before making a big desicion like that. Good Luck !!
2006-09-04 20:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by sillysammi2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a young man I dated older women.
When I was 19 I lived with a 42 year old women(1)year
When I was 27 I lived with a 46 year old women(3)years
I had other relationships with older women none which seemed to work out long term. I will say they were great while they lasted and I learned alot. I have no regrets but I was usally the one to call an end to it.
2006-09-04 19:22:41 · answer #6 · answered by jes888 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the age isn't a problem because I am 45 and my husband of 7 years is 27. So yes, that part can work, but it really depends on the personalities involved.
In my case, though, I knew my husband *in person* for over a year before I married him. How do you REALLY know this guy has a good background? Have you actually met him? Spent time with him? If you have not met him in person yet, please do that before you make any commitments... and then wait a while. Spend time together to see if it really is as good as it seems.
I wish you luck :)
2006-09-04 19:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love has no age limit but you need to understand his likings are going to be totally different then yours. You will be his first experience once you get more older he might want to check out other girls. I am 37 and would not want to be with a 23 year old only because they have not lived life yet and it takes men a lot longer to grow up then women.
2006-09-04 19:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea. One the religion might be a problem because I'm guessing that you're christian/catholic.
Second of all, there is truly a major age difference. I'm not saying that you're old but the maturity level is very questionable. The maturity and live experiences between you too could be a big obstacle.
Third of all...you've never met him face to face and never lived with him through a day to day basis.
Don't do it.
2006-09-04 19:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by So... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well having a relationship over the internet can be tricky. but i know if you love someone you wont care what others will think about it.as long as you know that is what you want , and if you would be ready for that, and also i would keep talking to him more befor you made any imedient dicishions. cus if things havent been good for you in the past then you need to take it slow and to be carfull. but on the age thing my view is it doesnt madder the age as long as you are in love and the love is the same in retern.so i would just say to you is think about things and use your best judgment in what you want , hope that helped some and best of luck.
2006-09-04 19:18:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sharon K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋