While I have been in past relationships before, this was the one that felt real. I had never loved someone before my boyfriend and he was the only one I could actually imagine a future with. Now that it is over and I realize the kind of guy he is, I'm scared that he never actually loved me. Even though I knew it wasn't working, I still loved him and would never have treated him the way that he has treated me. Now I'm scared to ever trust anyone again. Everyone keeps telling me its just him but .... I'm never want to feel the way I am feeling now again. I feel like my life is completely different now and what I thought I knew was completely wrong. I know that you are supposed to "love like you have never been hurt" but this heart is taking over my life.
2006-09-04 12:02:23 · 10 answers · asked by caroline 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have felt the same way ONCE and swear I will never feel that way again. You feel like you sold yourself out and let youself be snowed by some selfish low life, right? You don't know if you can trust yourself let alone someone else, to be in a relationship, right. What I did was mental and emotional body-building (sounds stupid but it works). I focused on who I was and wanted to be. I watched all my favorite movies, read all my favorite books, favorite music, favorite clothes, food, friends family etc. I needed to establish my personality apart from you-know-who. I remembered what an awesome person I was and felt really protective of myself. I made promises to myself that NO MAN is as important to me than myself. I kind of made myself my own idol, not out of egotism, but because I had taken such a beating to my self esteem that I needed it.
In my current relationship (with a totally awesome guy) I demanded teamwork, I would not let anyone walk on this girl. I let my boyfriend know that we would have to be a team and build each other up rather than taking from each other. He loves it because together we are twice as strong and neither of us have to sacrifice for the other. I have never had such an open, honest, strong relationship, and I might not have if it hadn't been for my Ex dragging me down in the mud.
It is litterally THE worst and (one of) the best things that has ever happened to me. Even though it caused me so much pain I would not trade the experience for anything.
I hope reading my story can give you some advice on how to deal with your own situation.
2006-09-04 12:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by BLANK 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi firstly let me assure you that you are not alone, i've been there my friend. I was with my ex 5 years and he broke my heart when he cheated on me. It took me a long time to trust him due to my past and I felt let down. I was the same knew it was falling apart but loved him till the end. But just because guys do crap things to us doesn't mean they never loved us, so don't feel you didn't have the love you thought you did, you had it but it just wasn't meant to be. So have faith for there are so many nice men out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. All you can do is learn from the experience, and don't give in trusting again, but just take your time getting to know someone first. It hurts I know but you say you are getting over it so good for you. Don't think the next guy you date will be the same, but judge him as a man, not based upon your past man. Your life is different you have a new start so go out there and do what makes you happy. 'love like you've never been hurt' is a good one, I believe it but it takes time and trust. One day you'll know love again and a lot of this pain will fade when you let down your guard with him. Just get out there and mingle. I felt the same after my break up I really gave up on love, but then I got a 2nd chance when I met my current love who is everything I could want and so much more.. I'm now glad the other love faded, I never thought i'd feel that but I knew then that it was meant to be that way because there was someone out there better for me. There is someone better out there for you too. Take care and I really hope you start to feel better about things soon.
2006-09-04 12:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im experiencing al the same things at the moment. my ex gf ended our 8 year relationship and i really believed she was the one. If it works out down the track and was true love, then i guess it will find a way. But as hard as this is to believe you have to think that if it doesnt it was obviously never meant to be and there is better out there waiting for you. Right now you wont see that but in time you will, so many people feel this way after a tough break up but all find happiness again which is far greater than anything you may previously have experienced. Good Luck
2006-09-04 12:09:42 · answer #3 · answered by whitey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to get over something like this. I had a devistating break-up and decided that I wouldn't date anyone for a year. I focused on myself. Ate better, quit smoking, exercised, did better in school, etc. Then, just about a year later, I met the guy I eventually married and I was in a great place with myself, so was able to have a great relationship. I don't know if this will help...
2006-09-04 12:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by pugluvr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although he may not show it, your relationship touched his life as well. He is having a hard time getting over you too. It is just going to take time. I am sorry for your hurt but he did love you and there will always be the good memories in both your hearts.
2006-09-04 12:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting over someone is very hard. It's not something that just goes away. It will stay with you forever but don't let it take over your life. if you do you won't ever love again and that would really suck. Love is the closest thing we have to magic and magic is good for living so don't give up.
2006-09-04 12:05:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I am so going thru the same thing right now...I am 30 yrs. old and have been dating the same guy for 4 years, he was my "knight in shining armour". He was everything that i always wanted. He cooked, cleaned, bought me things, listened to me, helped me get thru things....he was amazing...i knew i had finally found my soulmate and he told me the same thing...He started talking about marriage and what kind of house we were going to build. He already had drawn out the plans. We talked about having a baby...Me and his mom talked on several occasions. Everything was absolutely wonderful....then I found out that he had been seeing and halfway living with another woman...telling her some of the same things....he would take us on trips to the same place.....it was amazing...i still think i am in the twilight zone...come to find out me and the woman work together....its so crazy.....i feel your pain...somedays i don't even want to get out of bed and i think "that is it, how will i EVER be able to trust another man"....i don't know...i just have to have faith and believe that it can happen....i started going back to church, i feel so much better when i get "spiritually right".....find something that makes you feel better.....
2006-09-04 12:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey dont let this failed relation fail ur life too.Life is too short.May be that guy is not worth it.Give ur self another chance and move on.Get a life.Think positive and try not to think about past.think of him as aloser.He didnot deserve ur love.Save ur love and respect for smbody who is worth it.Think positive.Dont trust anyone but dont loose faith in god.If you feel sad and depressed close ur eyes and pray tohim.Before u love anybody try tolove urself.If u need anyone to talk to mail me at simmisingh82@yahoo.com.I will be ur friend and i will try to help u come out of it.
2006-09-04 12:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by tinasingh1982 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all go threw that feeling,when we loose the man we love.Sometimes it take years and years to heal our hearts. I promise you some day you will see him again and wonder what did you see him.That's what happen to me. You don't need to have the pain your going threw.You should show him what he has lost.You will be happy again, just remember break en up is always hard to do.
2006-09-04 12:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to the real world of relationships....
2006-09-04 12:07:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋