does anyone else get this feeling when there loved ones have come home? personal stories please and how do i deal with it when he comes home?
2006-09-04 11:53:30 · 15 answers · asked by Dani 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
with what he is living w/daily, u bet he has changed dani.some pretty bad sights 2 c over there, bodies in bits, a buddy shot in the head, children delivering bomb. u bet the poor guy has changed. just hold on 2 him 4 dear life. dani life is 2 short, give him time 2 deal w/this. no diff. than when mine came home from viet nam & 2 this day he still has nightmares of hi tour of duty there. most important they never do 4get the horrors they've seen. love him baby & hold him tight. talk 2 a minister, 1 in the military 2 help u both deal w/what he has seen over there on a daily basis.
2006-09-04 12:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by virgo1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to assume that this kind of experience will change a person. Although you are not yet married, you have to realize this is part of what "for better or worse" means. When he comes home, the first thing you have to do is be prepared to listen and accept. Realize that he has been through something really profound, something that may change the way he views the rest of his life. He will probably look to you to be a constant, a place to come home to. At the same time, he may need to spend some time with other people who better understand what he has gone through. Do not begrudge him this time or insist that he hurry up to get back to "normal". War changes "normal". But if you are going to have a life with a person, you have to accept that life will bring these transforming events. War is a big one. So is serious sickness. Accept that he has changed, that his life and therefore your life together has changed, but this does not have to be a bad thing. You two can reconnect on a whole new level if you embrace the change and make his experience part of his own. I know this time hasn't been easy on you. I thank your fiance for his service to our country, and I thank you for supporting him. Good luck to both of you.
2006-09-04 12:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely he has changed. Whether its noticable or not when a soldier goes over there he will change one way or another. I know in my personal experience I didnt act any diffrent or anything but when I would be driving down the road I would constantly be watching people and looking to see if they were going to make a move for anything. It actually got to the point that my wife wouldnt let me drive....
I dont do that anymore but it did take a little while to get back on track.
2006-09-04 11:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by JB 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
They do change....they have seen things that they can't explain or even want to remember. Being Downrange is a very difficult time....most are Downrange because they are told to go...their Unit is there....I have gone thru this more than once with my DH, but we have a strong marriage...
You can be as supportive as you can.....let him do the talking and lead where things go. He will be clingy, or he may be distant. Just follow his lead....
There is so much more, feel free to email me personally and I will try to help more off the Board.
2006-09-04 19:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by BITE ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you. all military people change either for the better or worse because they are out there in 100+ degree heat in full gear, dehydrated, and quite possibly killing all insurgents. their mental stability will be off kilter for awhile. I suggest that you be patient and let him know that you are there for him when he is ready to talk about the experience. when he does come home after his tour, he will be in a deprogram facility to be debriefed and be analyzed by the shrinks to make sure that their mental capacities are 100% normal and offer any counseling if needed to make the solider mentally stable
2006-09-04 12:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by mole 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance has changed. Anyone who has been witness to war or things of that nature have gained a better understanding of things. We don't have to deal with things like that over here. Being witness to war could humble someone. Just realize that you should support him and listen to him if he wants to talk about it. He could have seen lots of death too. Go off of his mood and just listen.
2006-09-04 11:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by j.tech_77 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, he/she has definitely changed, many for life. Some suffer from PTSD for quite awhile after their return. Gentle decompression is the best thing that can happen to them. Understand what they are foing through, and support them in every way upon their return to American society. They are all heroes to all of us.
2006-09-04 11:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by dcpacker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IT IS CALLED SHELL SHOCK.SHELL SHOCK IS WHEN A SOLDIER COMES HOME AND IS READJUSTING TO A CIVILIAN AN LIFE SINCE THEY HAVE BEEN IN A WAR ZONE FOR A LONG TIME AND THEY HAVE BEEN TRAIN TO DO CERTAIN THINGS.LIKE IF YOU POP A FIRECRACKER HE OR SHE MAY JUMP ON THE GROUND CAUSE THEY THINK IT IS A GUNSHOT AND REACT THE WAY THEY HAVE BEEN TRAIN TOO.
2006-09-04 15:24:55 · answer #8 · answered by Mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably has changed. Experiences in all our lives shape and mold us, and change us. And war definitely changes a person. The question is, are you able to accept those changes about him?
2006-09-04 13:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Bible Trekker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once gets home and back to his normal life for a little bit he should be ok.
2006-09-04 12:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Curt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋