My gf of 8 years left me a month ago just after we bought our first house together. She says she needs to find herself and just isnt happy with the person she is in the relationship anymore. She also has things in life she needs to do such as a possible overseas working holiday and to just become a stronger individual in general. And that generally right now she has nothing left to give to our relationship. All this stuff hurt me really bad, I knew things had got a bit comfortable but never realised she was on the verge of leaving me. I just dont get how she could have made such a commitment to me then left so fast. Nothing i have said will convince her to try things with me again right now or if ever. I am a nice guy and she says she loves me, that i am amazing and she cant see herself settling down with anyone else. She says its not about finding someone else its about finding herself. Now i have let go, is it possible that time may make her realise what we had and to try it again?
2006-09-04 11:18:00 · 7 answers · asked by whitey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds to me like this has been something she's been contemplating for a while, but instead of communicating with you she went with the flow and copped out on you at the last minute. What she did was a very selfish thing, especially, with leaving you with the responsibilities that come along with a new home. From your description, it sounds like she lost herself in the midst of the relationship and now she's looking to find that person again. What she fails to realize is, growing and maturing cause for you to give up old habits.....It's quite possible that she will see that what she's searching for she's had all along. It stinks, but sometimes you have to "loose" what you have in order to realize that your life is/was as it should be. Hang in there, but don't feel obligated to wait on her if something or someone else comes along......it's not fair to you.
2006-09-04 11:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in these situations, I always think they are a bit fishy. I mean 8 years you two have been amazingly great together and now she needs to find herself? and take all these trips? Not to be harsh or even put doubts into your head, but I kind of always assume that even though the other person says they love you and not leaving because of someone else. You usually end up hearing about them out with a new guy or taking trips with this certain someone. 8 years is a hell of a long time for anyone to not know themselves. And in a commited relationship she should feel comfortable no need to run from you like that. Time may make her realize what she has missed, but do you really have that time to wait around for her? It could be like 13 years or more down the road before she "finds" herself. Do what is best for you and go find yourself don't wait around for her, cuz you could be wasting your time waiting on someone that may not come back to yo.
2006-09-04 11:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should trust her and give her space.
Just remember this and wait: "she says she loves me, that i am amazing and she cant see herself settling down with anyone else". But don't wait for longer than you are willing to, and why not spend the time working out what your future holds? Who knows? You may end up together, you may (I presume) end up apart. But you need to keep talking and be ready to listen and change. If she isn't happy with who she is anymore, chances are she's also not happy with who you've become in relation to her.
Good luck.
2006-09-04 11:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fires burnt out. I think "finding herself" is just an excuse to not tell you the hurtful way. Im actualy in the same exact situation right now but we havent been together so long. I dont know when to give up or when to know he's gone for good. Its confusing i know
2006-09-04 11:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by xbinary_dreamsx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is the job that time does most don't worry she will come back or if not you will find another one that has already found herself and will not get lost again
2006-09-04 11:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by daisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's possible, but don't hold your breath- if she's trying to find herself- you are probably not going to be in the picture
2006-09-04 11:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hindsight is 50/50 its easy to poitn out the goods and bads after u can look at it all at once
2006-09-04 11:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by bbrun5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋