Since my stepson moved in with us about 3 months ago, we have caught him stealing about 3-4 times. It started out small and then the last time was $20.00 from me. We punished him and explained how wrong stealing was and asked him why he does it. He responded "It's a habit." He always appologizes, but given enough time, he does it again. We thought that we had finally gotten through to him since we havent seen anything missing in a few weeks, but we were wrong. When I was cleaning out from under his bed today, while he is at his moms for the weekend, I found my older brothers highschool class ring. My brother lives down the street and said that it has been missing for about a month or so and that he usually kept it on his bathroom sink. He thought his wife had lost it somehow, but obviously my stepson stole it. That ring is worth about $300.00. I am furious that he has done it again. I am tempted to cancel his birthday party to punish him. What can we do to stop this>
2006-09-04 10:28:00 · 12 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am the one asking for advice instead of my husband, because he tends to avoid problems with the kids until he gets really mad, then he yells at them, which obviously doesn't solve the problem. I have made it clear to my husband that this problem has got to stop, and that if he doesn't do something to end the stealing, I am going to step in and lay down the law.
2006-09-04 10:32:33 · update #1
I would cancle his party and I would tell your brother to press charges.
If you dont want to do that...take EVERYTHING out of his room except his bed and one pillow. Anytime he is in the home have in his room doing homework. If he doesnt have any homework then you have him write a paper on why it is wrong to steal and what he is gonna do to repay everything he has taken and also what he will do to repay his uncle.
Do this for about a week. And make him to the paper into after that week and demand that it has to be so many pages long.
If he follows through with this give him one hour a tv a day for the next week. Give him another big assignment during that week example a paper on what honesty really means.
Week by week if he does what is asked of him you give him ONE privilage (sorry bad speller.)
2006-09-04 11:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Natasha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a scared straight kind of thing. Talk to the police to see if they would send an officer. Have your brother there and the ring. Confront the boy together. Another thing, hr should be doing more than say ""sorry"". Those are empty words. Everyone involved with the ""ring"" incident should sit down. Figure out what the boy can do to make up for stealing the ring.
Make a t-shirt that says "warning I steal from my family..I might steal from you" Make him wear it when you go out.
2006-09-04 19:02:15 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked the idea of taking everything but the basics from his room. I had a friend who did this, she left her son with a mattress and 1 blanket, and 2 changes of clothes and put the rest in storage! It changed his attitude really quickly and let him see what was happening.
Step-parenting is never easy, but do try to avoid being the one to do all of the punishing. Your husband shouldn't put you in that position. At your son's age, he needs to hear from Dad that what he is doing is wrong, and not by a screaming match. My husband and I have changed a lot in the way we deal with his sons, and it's worked out for the best.
Good luck, again!
2006-09-04 18:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by Giovanni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you will need to get your husband involved in dealing with this. Maybe if he sits down and has a nice talk with him, your stepson will understand. Or he could have a huge problem with stealing, I had a friend who had to get help from a psychologist for his problem.
2006-09-04 17:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by Sky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cancel the party. Take him for a jail tour. Take everything but the basics from his room. He needs to earn them back with appropriate behavior. If you and our husband don't stand together (and stand firm) on this now it will only escalate. He may be stealing from others, too... If he gets caught at other places (school, stores...) they will prosecute. He must learn NOW!
2006-09-04 18:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he really can't help it. He sees something and just takes it meaning no harm. Kleptomania is what I think it is called. Take him to a psychiatrist and see what they suggest. If he can't help it, punishing him isn't going to do anything but make him feel guilty. If it is something he can help, maybe a visit from the friendly police officer is in order. I call it an attitude adjustment.
2006-09-04 17:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by redwidow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is an officer. He said to call your local police dept. or local jail. Let them know your concern. Most of the time they will let your son have an inside look at a jail cell. That might deter him before it is too late. good luck
2006-09-04 17:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you all need counseling, this has gotten way out of control, dad needs to take more control and be a parent and not leave it up to you, maybe you should call juvenile hall, this kid is going down the wrong street....
2006-09-04 18:37:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and report it. Some jail time might just scare him straight
2006-09-04 17:45:57 · answer #9 · answered by joalteeth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe when you see his things sitting around pick them up and put them some where when he asks you if you have seen them tell him no and after a while he will learn what it feels like to have someone steel from you
2006-09-04 18:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by angelia p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋