well im 19 years old and ive been dating this guy who is 24 now for about 4 years the reason i did this was because i thought i wanted to settle down and get married cause thats like my dream and we were planning on getting married. But thier is a mayjor problem in our relationship im sorry theirs actually 2 and they are that he cannot stand my family and he wont step foot in thier house and he wont even answer the phone if they call and he says all these horrible things about my mother and i really cant stand it cause i love my mom to death! The other problem is that he is way over protective like i have a best friend who is a guy and we do evreything together and he knows this and he started getting jealous cause i hung out with my best friend like evreyday for a lil while and this is when my bf says oh i dont want him knocking at are door anymore and its just like completely annoying! Like i still love him to death but i dont like how he is saying awful things about my family
2006-09-04 09:43:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well the reason him and my mom dont get along is because they dont like him because he never wants to participate in any family gatherings and because he puts me down and my mom sees it and me and my mom and him have all talked and nothing has been fixed it just made it worse and now they totally ignore one another
2006-09-04 10:43:05 · update #1
Not all husbands love their in-laws, but unless you are willing to give up on seeing your family, he is going to have to learn to be civil. The jealously thing is not so unusual. When you get married to whoever, you may have to give up your male best friends.
If he cannot at least be civil to your family, he may not be the right fellow for you.
2006-09-04 09:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by Computer Guy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl trust me when I say this, if you are in a relationship where you find that you and your spouse's relative can't gree or your family and him can't gree, both of you need to stop for a while and really talk things through. It doesn't make sense for the two of you to get married knowing that he doesn't approved of your family. If he continues this way your mom will soon get tired of his behavior and try to stay as far away from you as she can because she wants your marriage to work and she won't want to get in the way. But when this guy turns his back on you, which he will do because one day you will tell him that you can't deal with his behavior any more, you will be lift along because he pushed your mom out of your life. Not just that, but if he keeps treating your mom like this you might want to treat his mom the same which would be a nice family relationship, I would suggest that you solve this problem before marrying him, or you might be sorry, and want to leave his life faster than how you got in. GOOD LUCK with your RELATIONSHIP may you find the RIGHT ANSWER.
2006-09-04 09:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by Destiny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not overprotective. He's controling. You may need to get out of this relationship. 15 dating a 20 yr old? He seems like he was lookingfor someone he can control. Don't let him talk bad about your family, in the end that's all you have. Tell him, he needs to stop. These ppl (family, bf friend) were here in the beginning they'll be there in the end. If he doesn't like it, (4-5 yrs or not) he can move on.
2006-09-04 09:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by Gremlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are dating someone with control issues.
Over protective is not the word for it, if he was over protective he would be concerned about you walking home alone at night, not wanting you to have friends (even guy friends) or contact with your family is control.
Sad to say it, but he likely won't stop until he controls your life completely. And, since he won't be able to have that level of control all of the time his frustration will likely turn to frustration, anger and then to violence. Recognizing the warning signs early is key in getting out of the relationship and moving on. There are even greater guys out there more deserving of your love.
2006-09-04 09:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, I dont think getting married is going to resolve anything. You obviously love your boyf very much but as for slagging your mum off.. Thats plain disrespectful. Now in a relationship there has to be give and take .. if the shoe was on the other foot, and your boyf best friend was girl.. how would you feel? I m not sayin you should stop seeing your best friend but mayb try and get your boyf and your best friend to become good friends too.. My best friend is a bloke.. I met my boyf thru him.. And theres complete trust .. But the family issue mayb's cant b resolved.. Familys all over.. argue over choice of partners .. You have to just try and keep them seperate and mayb when your boyfs ready for marriage and stuff he'l be able to put his issue to one side.. because your family are apart of you
2006-09-04 09:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by rochie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
You have not mentioned the reason he dislikes your family in particular your mom. I don’t need to know, just ask yourself honestly who was responsible for the friction between them. If the answer is your people then give him one point. If the answer is him then no point, but don’t dump him, not yet. Answer truthfully…if he had a female best friend with whom he hung out with everyday…how would you react??? You can’t have your cake and eat it too. The relationship with your folks will improve after marriage, trust me. However, there is no place for jealously in any marriage. For God's sake stop saying you love anyone to death yet in the next breath you say you don't like the slightest bad in them
2006-09-04 10:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with gremlin. He is definitely trying to control u. The age difference between you two and the age when u began dating him,..... i dont see a mature relationship developing or a happy future for you with him in this situation.I hope you have atleast told him that u want him to change his attitude towards ur guy-friends and family. dont be a mute dog.
2006-09-07 21:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by saurabh k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What Ru doing in this relationship????? He is in total control of you, I think its better you dump this guy before he gets violent and physical with you. The way you have described it shows he may physically abuse you, Just dump him Like a hot potato!!!!
2006-09-04 10:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by Nithin R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL PIXIDUST THE WRONG THING IS THAT HE HATES YOU FAMILY AND YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST ONE .DONT CHANGE .LISTEN TO THE REASONS WHY HE IS LIKE THIS .HE IS AFRAID OF YOU LOUSING HIM
GIVE HIM BREAK BE EASY ON HIM WE ARE ALL HUMAN UNDERSTAND THE BAD DAY AT WORK EX... TAKE DO NOT ARGUE
2006-09-04 09:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by adolfo g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, if he doesn't like the family, you should hav gotten rid of him from the start, n if he doesn't like your best friend he needs to get over it, you dont criticize his family or friends do you?
2006-09-04 09:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by heart been broken 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋