Do you like these pet rules?

Question

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

If you need to kiss me, then don’t go smell the other dog or cat's butt before hand. I cannot stress this enough!


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To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less – and don’t have funny fad tastes either
2. Don't ask for money all the time – in fact never!
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called – well most times!
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don’t demand you look fashionable
11. Love me without any pressures, or emotional demands
12. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
13. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Answer 1

I posted this one about a month ago, but it is still funny, especially if you have pets.

Keep up the good work.

Answer 2

ok, i'm so laughing my head off right now! Those rules are very cleve, but some of the rules I doubt cats and dogs wodl ever do! Like, driving a car. My cat would never even think of that. But I'm gonna tell her.

Answer 3

Well, at first it was funny (even though I don't think the pets could understand no less, read it) but when it comes to the rules, you are just crazy!

Answer 4

yes I love them especially the last one haha nice ♥

Answer 5

oh thank you very much, i needed a good laugh and you just made me wee my pants

Answer 6

Thank you!! That is so perfect! I'm still laughing!

Answer 7

BBBBBBBBrilliant

Answer 8

lol I love that. where did you find that or come up with those?

Answer 9

awwwww blesssssss

Answer 10

I think maybe u should get out more ....