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Just when I think our relationship is getting better, she goes and does or says something cruel to or about me. She knows I'm looking for a job until I get back in school, and she goes and tells me father that the reason she isn't helping me with a college bill is because "I'm lazy and doesn't want to do anything." She KNOWS that's a lie. Even when she and I go out together, I'm always applying somewhere or asking if the place is hiring. She KNOWS this. I don't expect her to pay my bills, but she could have at least offered, and she did NOT have to talk about me like that to my father. Could she really feel that cruel and hateful toward me?

2006-09-04 09:07:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

12 answers

i think i know how you feel. you try hard or whatever to make her appreciate what you're doing for yourself, but all she does is repeat that you don't car & you're lazy. parents these days, i SWEAR. i guess you're like most people-you sometimes get along with your mom.. but things just don't work out the way you wish they would. i hope she someday understands that you're TRYING and she's not really giving you the chance to do things for yourself. not sure if what i said helped.. but i hope things improve with you & family.

2006-09-04 09:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by KN 1 · 0 0

No I don't think for a second she feels hatred or any cruel feelings, she could have just been trying to get some extra help from your father. Sometimes people have a strange way of asking for things. Don't take it the wrong way, really. Love your mother everyday that you can, one day when she is gone, you will wish she was there. Also, I speak from experience, I am a single mother, with a son in college, he also has to work to help pay for things, I understand.

2006-09-04 16:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by nadine2548 1 · 0 0

If you are over 18...she does NOT have to pay for anything for you. She may feel you are not trying hard enough...how long have you searched for a job, how many interviews have you been to, have you tried interviewing and accepting a position, regardless of what you "thought of" the job?
Are you helping her in the household if you live there? Can she trust you to go to school and finish what you started? Does she feel that maybe she can't really trust you because of past events???

Look at yourself first... stop being defensive, open your eyes...don't attack your mother yet.

2006-09-04 16:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0 0

maybe she's stressed and is taking it all out on you. i hope she isn't actually doing it just to be mean to you. i'm staying at home for college so i don't have to worry about loans and all. get some one on one time with your dad and tell him your side. don't evoke too many emotions in there, just say it how it is so you don't get too worked up. i know finding a job is a pain. it took me 6 months and 3 paper, 1 online application to get a job at kroger. then i resigned a month later b/c my cash register came up short. good luck with finding a job. don't go for anything less than 7.00 and shorter than a 4 hour shift b/c then you're just wasting gas if you're working like 3 or 2 hours. tell them you're punctual during an interview! that's a big one employers look for! good luck.

2006-09-04 16:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by Caitlin 2 · 0 0

My mother was extemely cruel to me, and really no matter what I did she would flip out on me. My best advice for you is to be the best you, make yourself happy and pray for her. You may not have a good relationship with her ever and though that may be painful to accept, it may be a fact. Forgive her and move on, let her cruel comments roll off you and just chalk it up as her problem, not yours.

2006-09-04 16:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by free2praise76 3 · 1 0

If it was me I would ask her straight up why she is doing that. She' s your mother she's either doing all this for a good reason or she really is hiding something from you, either way don't jump to conclusions, you should just talk to her about it, no beating around the bush, TALK!

2006-09-04 16:11:43 · answer #6 · answered by freak-show 1 · 0 0

Cause she is a parent. Some parents think that if they say stuff like that about you, you will strive harder because you want to prove them wrong. In most cases, it just makes the person made and hate the family.

2006-09-04 16:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by Lord Draven 2 · 1 0

it's called tuff love, as parents we always want our kids to depend on us ... really, b/c if they didnt need us then that only means we would be letting go sooner than we plan, and by being hard on you she feels that you'll do what you gotta do in the long run you'll see that she only wants whats best for you....

2006-09-04 16:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by babygirl 1 · 0 0

probably you two should sit down and talk about it. mothers can't be cruel you know.

2006-09-04 16:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by skepty 3 · 0 0

that is kind of odd...if all fails and she keeps doing it just try to ignore it.sorry i couldnt give a good answer

2006-09-04 16:11:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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