im waiting for the "its not funny" comments.
DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid- twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
DEAR ABBY: I've been married for six years and have five kids. No twins. My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in the morning too. I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says that is his hobby.
DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?
DEAR ABBY: Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
DEAR ABBY: I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
DEAR ABBY: Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally did it.
DEAR ABBY: My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.
DEAR ABBY: I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting officer.
DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get? -GERTIE-
DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?
DEAR ABBY: My husband hates to spend money! I cut my own hair and make my own clothes, and I have to account for every nickel I spend. Meanwhile he has a stock of savings bonds put away that would choke a cow. How do I get some money out of him before we are both called to our final judgment? He says he's saving for a rainy day. -FORTY YEARS HITCHED-
DEAR HITCHED: Tell him it's raining!
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd like? -CAROL-
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible? -KAY-
DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.
DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? -WONDERING-
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.
DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much? -CURIOUS-
DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? -JAKE-
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? -ANNIE-
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? -SAM IN CAL.-
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write? -TED-
DEAR TED: The Internal Revenue Service.
DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've heard a lot about you"? -RITA-
DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.
DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. -ROSE-
DEAR ROSE: So would I.
DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? -BESS-
DEAR BESS: Night and Day.
2006-09-04 09:01:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Exellent!!! I needed a good laugh and I got one...well more than one. Thank you so much!!!
2006-09-04 10:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2016-03-26 22:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for the laugh now can I get 10 points for giving you a thumbs up and taking time to read that long thing.
2006-09-04 09:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by flowersandhearts 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hahaha i liked that, its lik the coloum in the sunday times magazine!
2006-09-04 09:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
pmsl vgood
2006-09-04 09:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by john b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL. These are funny. LOL.
2006-09-05 05:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heh heh
2006-09-04 09:04:26 · answer #7 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
too long to read man.
2006-09-04 09:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by Shakez 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hmmm...a few where funny. The rest, sorry no.
2006-09-04 09:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
All of that was soooo unfunny... sorry.
2006-09-04 11:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by bex 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋