I'm Muslimah & want divorce, what do i do?

Question

I was Islamicly married earlier this week and want a divorce but he will NOT divorce me. We did not have sexual relations. Do I need to go to a sheikh. It is not legal , just islamic. Also he said that I need a good reason or the sheikh will not do it , my reason is that he is different now that I see the side of him as a husband and I do not like him because of different personalities
is this haram?

I married him and I am his second wife. It is not legal so we are not breaking laws inthe us, it's Islamic.
He told me he'd set me free if I wasn't happy. I'm not. I thought I could deal with being a second wife but I can not! She has NO IDEA about me.
I have not and will not have sex with him , We only spoke two times before we married to avoid dating because that is haram. I thought I was doing the right thing but it is a mistake.

Answer 1

no, if you really cant live with him divorce him. but according to islamic law, you should wait at least 3 months before making a big decision. i hope things work out!!

Answer 2

A WEEK! and u hav decided to divorce him? honey wait and Inshallah things will workout.
this is what Ilsam says abt divorce...

"In Islam, the process of divorce is unique from the process of divorce in mainstream western culture. If a man wishes to divorce his wife, he must announce the word talaq (I divorce you), on three separate occasions in the presence of a witness. Each time a talaq is given, the husband must wait a period of at least one month before repeating it. This time frame is to ensure that the woman is not pregnant. The talaq also cannot be given during the women's menstruation because it represents a time of impurity (Bowker 127).

There are three different initiations of divorce: initiations by the husband, wife, and the court. Once a husband says his third talaq, the husband and wife are no longer allowed to reside with each other. If a women wishes to divorce her husband, she must go to a qadi, or judge. While a qadi may suggest that the husband and wife work out their problems, he has the power to issue the woman a divorce (Bowker 133). Not nearly as many women as men initiate divorce, often because they do not know they possess this right.

Once a husband and wife divorce, the wife is entitled to her dowry from the marriage. The husband is not allowed to take back the dowry unless he has permission from his wife (Al-Sheha 41). This protects the financial interests of Muslim women. While divorce is permitted in the Islam, both the husband and wife are encouraged to salvage their marriage. Divorce is viewed as an absolute last resort to a marriage that cannot be reconciled."

"The rules for Talaq (divorce) vary among the major Islamic schools. Women are guaranteed certain rights of divorce and inheritance in Islam, although the extent to which these rights have been exercised in practice has differed significantly from nation to nation, and from time period to time period. Most importantly Shi'a and Sunni Muslims have different rules to engage a Talaq. In both the Sunni and Shi'a traditions the right of divorce is primarily for men, unless otherwise specified in the marriage contract, so that women can only seek divorce through court proceedings by convincing a Qadi to grant a divorce. Shi'as and Sunnis believe that a wife can ask for a Hula or 'Khulah' divorce, but that is only effective if the wife agrees to pay her husband, usually just returning the man's mahr. In practice in most of the Muslim world today divorce can be quite involved as there may be separate secular procedures to follow as well. Usually the divorced wife keeps her mahr, both the original gift and any supplementary property specified in the marriage contract."

Answer 3

Can a woman also divorce, or can she give ‘Talaq’? A woman cannot give ‘Talaq’ - because ‘Talaq’ is a Arabic word used for divorce, when a man gives to a woman - husband gives to a wife - but a woman can divorce. There are 5 types of divorce, in Islam - The first type is by unilateral… by unilateral agreement, between the husband and wife - Both may say… ‘Okay, we are not compatible… let us part’. The second type, is by the unilateral will of the husband, that is called a ‘Talaq’, in which, he has to forgo his ‘Meher’. If he has not paid it, he has to pay it to her… and including the gifts, he has given to her. Third type, is by the unilateral will of the wife - I repeat, by the unilateral will of the wife.

If she mentions it in her marriage contract. If she mentions it in her Nikah-Nama… in her marriage contract, that she has the right to give unilateral divorce, she can give it - It is call as ‘Isma’. I have never heard of anyone speaking of an ‘Isma’ - It is called as ‘Isma’ - Even a woman can give divorce, ‘Isma’. Third category is, if the husband ill-treats her, or not give her equal rights, she has the right to go to a Kazi, and nullify the marriage - It is called as ‘Nikah-e-Fask’. In this, according to the Kazi, he may ask the husband to give the full ‘Meher’, or part of the ‘Meher’, depending upon the Kazi. And the last is ‘Kulah’- that even though the husband may be a very good husband, the wife has got no complaints against the husband, but for personal reasons, she does not like the husband - she has… she can request the husband, to divorce her - and that is called as ‘Kulah’. But very few people talk about women giving divorce, to the men. Some of the Ulemas have categorized these 5 types of divorce, into 2 or 3 different categories, but broadly there are 5 types of divorce, in Islam. Hope that answers the question.

Answer 4

Depends on your location. If you are in a country where Islam is not the legally established religion, as your post seems to imply, you need to determine how much you are willing to offend the people of your religious community to be rid of him.

If it was an arranged marriage, as your post seems to imply it was not then see if your family will support you in an annulment.

If you feel he is not an acceptable husband and for whatever reason the sheikh will not annul the marriage. (Isn't that the Imam's job?) Find another religious authority who will.

If you are living in the Americas, Europe, India, or the oficial state of Israel, I would just say the hell with it and walk. Religious authorities there have no power to stop you.

Answer 5

you only have been together for a week!! try to give him one more chance! if you love him try to be a little more patient.
but if you think that it's not working out or if he abused you, then i'm afraid divorce is the only way to go.
yes you need to talk to sheikh, where do you live? in the US the law will not protect you if you are not legally married.

i must say you need to speak with an expert and explain the situation though! it's hard for me to tell you what to do when i dont exactly understand your situation!!

good luck to you
peace.

Answer 6

I would agree to Waqas and would just like a LITTLE bit of correction to "Maria Evergreen": "Divorce is ONLY RELATIVELY common NOW in Pakistan". The rate is STILL very low i.e. less than 2%. However, I do support your point that "Divorcees" are NOT looked down upon in Pakistan. Some of them get good proposals and get married for a happier life. It is now Quite common. But the rate of divorce itself is QUITE low i.e. <=2% Edit:- The main problem in Pakistan around the divorcees is the culture NOT religion. A lot of psychological barriers and apprehensions around the divorcees discourage any person to approach them from a proposal point of view. Their fate seems to be more in the hands of the parents than an opportunity to explore new possibilities. Moreover, as you would see, there are NOT many singles in the correct age window for the divorcees i.e. the divorcees are so less in number and virtually everyone gets married by the age of 30. So the options left for them are REALLY REALLY toooo less. In Pakistan, BOTH parties i.e. the man and woman, try THEIR best to go along and maintain the relationship. The decision of divorce is generally the VERY VERY last resort i.e. ONLY when ALL the limits to tolerance fail.

Answer 7

You will need to go ta a sheikh and have'em help you out with the problem. It is not haram, you have the right to get a divorce if you just cannot live with him. The sheikh might advise you to give it a try for just a little bit longer since it's only been a week.

non-muslims who are just giving stupid and hateful comments please hold off you're just making fools out of yourselves.

Answer 8

I'm sure that the Qur'an addresses this, you should find a Muslim woman not in the family and ask her.

Now, the real question, I'm sure many of us want to know, WHY, WHY, WHY do you want to divorce him so soon?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Answer 9

I think according to Islam you now belong to your master, Your husband.

You have to obey him and if he don't want to let you go you can not leave. I believe that he has the right under Islam to kill you for this.

You need to Flee. I am so glad I do not live in your world. I would end up dead myself. I would not allow anyone to even dare to say they are my master.

Answer 10

You need to find a husband that respects and values you as a person.

Good Luck and God Bless you!