What is the best way to tell a 5 year old about a tragic pet loss?

Question

Our family unfortunately experienced a house fire last week that killed our dog and two cats. My son, who is almost 6, does not know about the deaths yet as he was at his father's house, but he does know about the fire. The dog was my son's best friend. How do I tell him about what happened and how do I explain the deaths in a way that he will be able to understand and deal with it in a healthy manner?

Answer 1

I would tell him that sometimes when people or animals are in a house that catches on fire they breathe the smoke and it makes them go to sleep and then die. That they don't feel any pain. It's just like going to sleep. Then I'd tell him about the animals having this happen to them when the house caught on fire. He doesn't need to worry about or imagine them suffering. I'd just reassure him that the pets never had any fear or pain.

Answer 2

tell the truth, the dog has gone up to heaven and can now play with other dogs and will be taken care of by deceased relatives that may no longer be with us too. We've lost many pets and after she has been told that the animal is no longer alive, she picks out a star in the sky at night and can say hello and share her thoughts or feelings to her special star for her special pet. I also put a picture in a frame and let her put it anywhere she wants to in the room. She looks up at the stars nightly and says "Mommy, I see VJ(our old cat) looking at me right now and she is shinning so bright because she is so happy to see me." It helps ease the pain a little to think she has someone on her side watching over her and looking down and smiling. Now when a fish, turtle, cat, dog, gerbil, guina pig (it's endless at our house) passes, she can pick the star and talk to it and tell him/her about her day, or how she misses the pet or just hi. Sweet and simple. Good Luck. Might I also suggest that if you have insurance, the next time you get a pet, tell the insurance company that you have animals, they send stickers you can put in the windows that there are animals in the house and you can even register your pets with the local fire depts. in case you are not home, so they know to look for your animals once you are to safety. We did that and our dog and cats were saved because one of the firefighters knew ahead of time that there were animals in the house and the good people that they already are to risk their lives for humans, went the extra mile for our pets (even administered oxygen to one cat) and they had cages for them in the fire chiefs car. All my best.

Answer 3

My 8 year old has 4 pet rats. We thought one was going to die really soon because she's 75 in rat years and has had a stroke. So we told him that animals get old and they die, so do people, so do plants, everything dies. That helped a lot since last week we came home from camping and one of his other rats had died, and then was cannibalized by his cage mate. Thankfully he didn't have to see that. I calmly told him that something happened to Mario and he died. He asked how he died, and I said I wasn't sure, but that his Dad had already buried him before we got home. He was upset, but he understood that sometimes things happen that we don't have any control over. I spared him the cannibalized part. That's entirely too sick and brutal to explain to a kid. Above all, be honest with him. It's a hard life lesson, but it's one he'll have to learn sooner or later. If you want have a little service for "Fido" so that he can have some closure.

Answer 4

My daughters were about that age when they lost their first fish - not quite the best friend that your son's dog was, but it was still their first lesson in pet death. Because they had already dealt with death of relatives, they knew what it was - the person's body can no longer go on and their souls/spirits move on to another place. So, we had a funeral at the toilet bowl, said some nice words about the fish, sang him a song and flushed. Some laughter and tears from the girls, but they were glad to have gotten to say good-bye. I'm sure it will be hard for your son to handle at first, but kids are tough and they get thru things we often times don't think they can. Just be honest with him and give him the chance to say "good-bye" to his friends.

Answer 5

Just be honest with him, and tell him that the pets died in the fire. You might be surprised at how well kids deal with this sort of thing. We have lost a cat and a dog, and both times it was harder on me than my kids. When our cat died, I found a book called "Cat Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. It's a great book. It shows cats doing all their favorite things, eating their favorite foods, sitting on God's lap, looking down at the house where they once lived, etc. I would caution against telling your son that God needed them to go to Heaven, though. He might get the idea that God might "take away" other people or pets that he loves. Good luck.

Answer 6

Ouch! We chose to write up a eulogy and tell all the reasons the pet made our life better and what we are going to remember about that pet.

We also had to include(because of the little ones) that we KNEW the pet was happy and playing in "the next world".

It was very interesting to hear what the "littles" had to say about how our family pet made their life better.

We kept a copy on the fridge for some time.

Answer 7

You need to tell your son the truth about the whole thing. It is never good to lie to your child about anything. Tell him about the fire and what happend. And when he is ready go out and get another pet. What ever you do don't just replace the animal or tell him that the pet went on "vacation". Kids will find out and never forgive you. Death is a part of life. You would never hid birth from a child right??? Just like birth death is a part of life too. Please don't hide it from your child. He needs to know about it!

Answer 8

Tell him the truth, that there was a fire and none of the pets could be saved. Allow him to grieve the loss of his friend and let him know that when and if he is ready you will be willing to take him to find another "best friend"...perhaps from the animal shelter?

Answer 9

My daughter is 6 and we just lost one of our dogs (to heartworms) in July. I told her that Lucky was sick, but now he is in doggie heaven with all the other pets that have died. I told her he was happy, healthy and totally free to chase the bunnies and play with the other animals. I told her that there all the animals get along, none of them fight or hurt each other. I also told her that Lucky has wings now and he can jump on the clouds and if he falls off the cloud he just uses his wings to keep him from falling and to get back on the cloud. She cried when she went out to his house and he wasn't there. I answered her questions and then she was fine. She also has a bunny now, we bought the bunny after we lost Lucky. She still talks about Lucky and we all miss him, but I think she understands now. Good Luck.

Answer 10

The truth...honesty...but at his level. He is young and may not understand it unless it is explained to him at his level. Go to the library, and ask the librarian for some books on the subject for elementary grade child...you then read these first yourself, choose one or two to read to him. Allow for questions. Be open. Allow him to be angry, cry, scream or hide...allow him to do art or set up a small "memory corner" of his favorite pet. There he can place his dogs pictures, the dogs favorite toys and his drawing of him....