We both are going around 4 last one year.......i love him a lot and he says that he loves me too but i'm not sure. He keeps me taunting and teasing about my past sexual involvements. I told him many times that now i'm totally dedicated to him and faithful to him....but he doesn't seem to believe me and says that i'm serious with him just because even we are sexually involved. I am totally changed an love him a lot......i'm totally faithful to him now. I don't know what to do. Plz help
2006-09-04 07:39:13 · 21 answers · asked by meenakshi m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Love means never having to say you are sorry!
I never hold my lady accountable, I hold her lovingly
2006-09-04 07:41:55 · answer #1 · answered by Weatherman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok everyone is bashing on this guy, they need to see the other side.
Find out if he has ever been cheated on, that can really mess with someone if they were really close. Personally, I have issues with jealousy and insecurity, those come out with suscpications in my partner. While in reality, I know she would never do anything to hurt me like that, a part of me still worries. Having someone be unfaithful to you can really hurt you, and pops up in other relationships. Its not you, its him. But don't turn against him on this issue.
Help me through it, talk to him about it. I suggest being completely open. Sometimes guys like him/me just need some reassurance to get them through their insecurities and doubts. Thats probably what he's asking for when he teases you. You could be the most faithful girl in the world, and he'd still be afraid. You need to be open, love him, and help him with this problem.
Just remember, this fear isn't rational. Its like a fear of heights. He'll feel it no matter how safe he knows the relationship is.
2006-09-04 07:56:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you cheat on someone, you hurt them (depending on how sensitive they are ) in a very deep way. You don't say how old you are, but I gather you are somewhere in your teens. This is a lesson to remember for whatever future relationships you may have. It's best to start slow, and not commit yourself to that person until you know them well enough to want to stay with only them. You let that person know up front that you want to date others until you know them better, and can make a decision (based on experience) that you really only want to be with them. One of the most basic errors people, young and old, make is to rush into a relationship too fast. Then all the fighting and bickering start over sexual infidelity, because neither person was really ready to commit.
Men take great pride in their abilities as lovers, and when you cheat on them, it is an insult to their lovemaking. This mistake may be impossible to undo, without professional help. But I would sit him down and tell him that you didn't understand before what kind of hurt you gave him, but now you do. Do some special things for him after you've had your talk; you know what makes him feel good--maybe some little gifts of his favorite things. It's going to take time for him to completely regain his trust in you, so be very patient.
2006-09-04 07:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can only tell him and do your part. He will come around when he needs it's time. Don't let him see ya sweat. I applaud you for your faithfulness. That's rare these days. He is probably insecure because he is wondering how he is compared to the others (sad, but true; speak from experience) The best thing to do is continue to love him and provide reassurance. Even if you have to exaggerate a little bit..lol. take care
2006-09-04 07:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Words mean nothing. It's behavior that matters. And, if you have a past of unstable relationships, this is the most important measure of what he can expect in a relationship with you. That means he will have serious doubts as to if he should invest in monogamous relationship with you at all, let alone if he should marry you. No man wants to spend ten years or more of his life on you, maybe having several kids with you, only to have you vanish (or worse) one day because something is wrong with you.
His "teasing you" about it serves a specific purpose. He is prompting you for behaviors that prove you are loyal to him. You can say it, but this doesn't mean much. Every single woman who has broken her family has told their husband that they love him and want to be with him forever. All men know this.
2006-09-04 07:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
so sorry to say, your bf is NOT going to change his attitude, its his insecurities he has to deal with. i have been there too many times and it just gets worse to the point where u feel so crappy u dont know what to do anymore(where u r now i guess). Guys like that just want to feel so low so that u dont think u can get anyone else and that way u wont ever leave him. dont let him run down ur self confidence, its too hard to build it back up, best of luck to u hun;)
2006-09-04 07:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by qt pie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all bring our 'past history' into every relationship. How much importance that plays is up to each partner. When a man continually harps on things long gone bye, they he may be very insecure of his lack of a past sex history. This is not a healthy relationship to be in unless he sees this is annoying to you and stops. Usually he will not. Time to find a real man who appreciates you for who you are NOW!!?
2006-09-04 07:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, honey, NEVER discuss your past boyfriends with your current boyfriend...NEVER ! Now here is how you're going to have to handle it if you want him off of your case. Next time he say anything, sit him down, look him square in the eye and tell him. "I'm sorry I trusted you enough to tell you everything about my private life before you came into it. You try to make me feel guilty and small when you bring it up all of the time and I'm tired of you doing that. If you do it again, I'm gone. Do you understand what I just said? Gone." When he affirms. "Good, now that we've got that settled, lets go out". And don't mention it to him again. He's feeling adequate and trying to make you feel guilty. If he does it now, He'll continue to do it until you put your foot down! Godloveya.
2006-09-04 07:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well lets see. If he keep that up with me i would ask him why he is? And tell him every relationship is differnt then the other. And maybe ask him in a nice way i hope you arent jealous you have no right to be. Tell him that you think that he is the greatest there is. And maybe lets talk about why you do it. But talk to him in a very clam voice. Just my opinion.
2006-09-04 07:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by joy s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wait did you cheat on him or is he making fun of you because of your previous sexual relationships?
if you cheated then well you deserve a little humiliation. good luck with that? and if you both can't get over the cheating then you 2 shouldn't be together...if anyone is cheating in any relationship you 2 shoulddn't even be together in the 1st place.
if he's just making fun of you for relationships before him then I'd tell him go f--k youself...you aint getting any!
2006-09-04 07:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by Ariel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you did, and who you did it with in the past is not his concern. He should love you for what you are now. Was he sexually active before he met you?
2006-09-04 07:46:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋