can someone give me a web site on how to talk to a teenage son, about porn? i know there has to be dangers of it (addiction) and can someone tell me what the Bible says about this type of thing, and everything else that goes on with watching porn. i have also tried partental controls. but for some reason it messed my computer all up. someone please help.
2006-09-04 06:44:26 · 16 answers · asked by red 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Q. I discovered my 14-year-old son with porn on the computer and magazines. How should I handle this?
A. It would be alarming for any parent to discover that their child is logging on to pornography sites on the Internet and buying pornographic magazines. Your teen's interest in pornography is disconcerting because he's viewing sexually explicit material that's designed to arouse. Pornography depicts sex without affection, commitment, respect, or consequences, yet your son's interest is not unusual for a child his age.
Saying -- and Enforcing -- "No"
That being said, it's your role to control the use of the computer and what kind of magazines are around your house. Tell your son, "It's not okay to go to pornography sites on the Internet. I can't allow it in this house." Tell him outright that you will be checking to see that he's not violating this household rule. If a computer with Internet service is in his bedroom, you might need to remove it and put it in the living room where all can see what he's viewing. You can even block such sites from his computer.
Also tell him that you can't allow pornographic magazines. Tell him that you will be looking for them and if you find them, you'll rip them up and throw them out. You'll need to decide whether you'll go through his backpack and dresser drawers. Some parents feel perfectly justified in doing so; others allow their children the privacy of these personal spaces.
In addition, you'll need to tell your son of the impropriety of pornography. He is not an adult, and he should not be buying such magazines or logging on to such Internet sites. He definitely should not be taking porn magazines to school or logging on to porn Web sites at school or at any public place such as libraries.
The Root of Your Findings
Once you've asserted your position, keep a watchful eye on him and his behavior. You need to understand that although by societies' standards your son is still a child, by his biological body, he's a fully developed sexual male. He most likely masturbates and fantasizes about sexual activity.
His sexual side is not going away. He needs to manage it appropriately, therefore, you need to open up a conversation that fits with your values and that will help him develop a healthy approach to sexuality. It's important to point out that what he sees at a pornographic Internet site or in a magazine is a skewed vision of sexual behavior and an unrealistic idea of responsible relationships, body types, and intimate activities.
You might fear that your son will become a pornography addict. While this is unlikely, if you suspect this is the case, you'll need to direct him to professional help.
2006-09-04 06:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Island Girl 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Go to the web site http://www.family.org/ middle of the page to hot topics and click pornography! This is a focus on the family site . There is a lot of good info on this page. I will say this you need to block your computer from all porn web sites. Not only is it an addiction he will grow up having no respect for women what so ever! All the other answers you are getting about being normal is not true. Just look at all the sex offenders out there.
2006-09-04 07:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by Retarded Dave 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, being a mom myself with a teenage son, don't be afraid to brooch the subject with him. If his father isn't in the picture, then you have to be both mom and dad, something I had to do for many years before I remarried. It is difficult to talk about such matters, and can be very awkward, but it can be done. My oldest son and I have a very open line of communication and he understands that I may not like what he says or what he does, but he also knows that I'm there to LISTEN. It's natural curiosity for a teenage boy to be interested in porn, it's is something that is taboo for his age. Talk with him, but start out slow if you are uncomfortable. It is possible to be both mother and friend, you just have to know where to draw the line. Good luck!
2006-09-04 07:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by lilbitadevil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes by the picture Baby Angel uses she sure knows about how to handle porn eh?
Focus on Family website should have some resources for you. 100 Huntley Street as well.
2006-09-04 10:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see you have a female avatar. Are you a single mom?
This is where having a dad is very important. Boys generally idolize their fathers.
Your son needs to learn how to become a man, and since you're not one, your credibility is about as close to zero as it gets.
Guys like Freakzilla above go through life never really knowing what it's all about. I've seen guys like him when they reach 60 and they talk like teenagers because they were never capable of having a relationship with a woman and never matured beyond the booze/women/me-first stage of teenage-hood.
I pray that your son will somehow discover that life is more than getting and taking. The important things in life that will count are the things that require self-discipline and character.
No man acheives greatness by fulfilling every passion and engaging in every pleasure.
Greatness begins with goodness. Goodness comes by wisdom, integrity, honesty, fairness, forthrightness, graciousness.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Without it, none of the rest can be lived.
God bless you.
2006-09-04 06:47:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have a serious answer for you. It's normal. Porn is people having sex. Tell him that some websites show content that is inappropriate and that are some forms of sex which are not only immoral but unhealthy (I'm not going to elaborate on this one but you might want to to explain him that rape and bestiality are bad, and etc.). But don't forbid him to watch porn, he'll just grow up with doubts in his mind and thinking that sex is dirty. Porn is not bad for you, it's a way of enhancing the natural and very pleasant process of masturbation. If your god doesn't understand that we need sexual comfort why did he gave us sexual needs.
2006-09-04 06:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by Filipe F 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This will be a bit extreme, but these guys are experts at counseling people on pornography addiction.
It's called www.xxxchurch.com
I'd look it over carefully. I know that they have an accountability software on there where you pick two e-mail addresses and those people get a ist of any objectionable websites you visit.
Hope this helps!
2006-09-04 07:02:45 · answer #7 · answered by Searcher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Purchase or borrow the book, "Every Young Man's Battle" and give it to him. Ideally, a positive male figure would be available for follow-up, discussion.
2006-09-04 06:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by pilgrimchd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably aren't the best person for the job, you'll wind up embarrassing him and yourself .... also, sex is not a subject for mom and son to discuss intimately.
Perhaps finding an older male figure, his father?, to discuss it with him, man to man.
2006-09-04 06:47:49 · answer #9 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Going "on line" is not the way to teach your son about porn. YOU need to sit down and TEACH your son about sex, porn, pros, cons, etc... When we rely on others, or other things to teach our children what we SHOULD be teaching them at home, we give them to the wolves!!! The bible can't tell you, what do YOU know to be true!!?? Teach him that, stand firm on it, and he will make his decision based on that. "What Mom Says...." Peace.
2006-09-04 06:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋