my parents talk down to me because i'm not successful, my dad even keeps a mental scorecard of my failures, its degrading at 22 and i'm having trouble control my anger to the point where it hurts.
2006-09-04 06:18:58 · 24 answers · asked by Dash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You cannot change other people's behaviour, only your own. Read "Your Erroneous Zones" or "Pulling Your Strings" by Dr Wayne W Dyer. Learn from the experience not to do it to others
2006-09-04 06:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by crosbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a scorecard of everytime they put you down and hand that to them as a list of their failures! They might realise it's not so nice then.
At 22 you should also think about moving out if you're olds annoy you that much.
2006-09-04 11:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Lalalala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you have such abusive parents. Your father's behavior is nothing short of sadistic. I'm sure you do have trouble controlling your anger - and that is probably part of the thrill for them - to get you angry and then 'prove' to you that you're less than.
It is very very hard to emotionally accept that it is our parents who have the problem. You can, however, act as if you understand that. I would simply not participate in such conversations:
"I've got your input on that, dad, thanks," and leave the room or the house. Whenever you are treated badly, say, "Well, I've gotta go." and do that. If there's any hope for them, that will train them to respect you. If there's no hope, you'll learn that, too.
There was a book called "Getting Them Sober" - written for family members of alcoholics. I think it's a great book for all people dealing with abusers, as it teaches you to stop playing their games, and to detach from it.
Expect when you change your behavior, that is, you stop taking the abuse, they will change their behavior for the worse to get you to change back. Persevere and things will change.
It's not worth it to be connected if you have to be abused to be connected.
2006-09-04 06:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is it that u're not successful at? School? Coz mine have been pressurizing me to do something i'm not good at, coz they want me to become a doctor, they say being a pilot is for men only. Our situations may be different but i sort-of understand where u're coming from. Try and explain to them that not everyone is gifted at the same things, this world would be down-right boring!!! Just try and control your anger though and try and reason with them. It hurts, i know but it'll soon be over.
2006-09-04 06:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Georgina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn from your mistakes, move out, travel, gain some life experience, find a job away from your parents and be proud of all that you accomplished. The only way you'll probably get treated better is to mature and live on your own, and make a life for yourself.
All the best man!
2006-09-04 06:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job (then you will have success) and prove them wrong - the other way is to - sit back and do nothing - let them keep talking down to you - that way you have nothing to acieve and therefore you will be successful at being useless and then they wont need to talk down to you any more because you have succeeded
2006-09-04 06:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by sn0ttyang3l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remove yourself from the situation. Find somewhere else to live, leave home and make a life for yourself. Move out of range of your parents and concentrate on your life. When you visit them after a while, they will be pleased to see you and treat you like a prince. Good luck.
2006-09-04 06:27:31 · answer #7 · answered by keefer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid trying to get angry, leave all for God, don't try to please them cause it wont work.
But What, I will want you do is, keep focus and never try to loss it. it is like Blood that runs on your vein, you have a better future,
sometimes these are the challenges of life, once you overcome them, you then see your success at the door step.
I love to tell you more but I will stop here
Thanks
I do hope these is not just a question
but reality
2006-09-04 06:36:01 · answer #8 · answered by www.tonizek.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes there is nothing in life you can do to please your parents, but I suggest trying your best to please yourself. You can be a success at anything in life you choose. I would start by getting a job to support yourself, and consider going back to school to learn a trade or a profession. If you are still living with your parents, it is time to get off the couch, find an alternative place to live, and move.
2006-09-04 06:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds as though your parents are the ones that have failed, not you. i doubt that either one of them like themselves, unfortunately you pay the price. it you can move out, it would be best. you do not want things to get out of hand and you do or say something you would regret. you are young, be true to yourself and keep trying.
don't take what your parents say and etch it in stone, prove them wrong. hope all goes well. remember, they are the ones that are not successful parents, otherwise they would not be putting you through these neg. experiences.
2006-09-04 08:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋