Does anyone else think its rude not to get a plus one on the wedding invitiation? I personally think weddings can be boring without a date. Is it wrong to RSVP no and not attend these weddings because I didn't get to bring a date? One bride asked me why I am not going-should I tell her the truth?
2006-09-04 06:08:34 · 17 answers · asked by newjerseygirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think many of the answerers have missed the point. While weddings are expensive for the couple they are also expensive for the guests attending. One of the main reasons for throwing a wedding reception is to enjoy the day with your guests. If your guests aren't going to be happy then what is the point of even inviting them in the first place. I am very happy for my friends who are getting married but I would normally not spend $150 on a gift and take a night out of my life to sit at a table with kids from high school and strange family members. It shouldn't be any different for singles as it is for married people-I went to one wedding where I had to sit by myself with 6 other married couples at the same table!
2006-09-04 11:32:48 · update #1
I agree it is very rude, obviously the bride had planned a wedding beyond her means. I would tell the rude bride to be the truth and would not attend.
2006-09-04 07:14:11 · answer #1 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
No, I don't think it's rude to only invite those you want to attend, not when you factor in how much some of these weddings are costing per person. Just think, if the bride and groom invite 100 people, but then allow each person to bring a guest, that just doubled their costs--for the most part, and for 100 people that they don't even know most of the time. You are being invited to the wedding to help the bride and groom celebrate their wedding, not to have a free date out of the deal. You are not obligated to attend the wedding though, if you don't want to, you don't have to, just RSVP that you won't be able to attend. HOWEVER, if a bride is stupid enough to ask why you can't come, I'd ask her if she really wants to know, and tell her that your answer may hurt her feelings. If she says that she REALLY wants to know, then by all means, let her know that the reason is you would like to bring a date, but since you can't, you'd rather not attend. You'll reveal yourself as pretty selfish and callous, but hey, maybe you'll still be friends with her.
2006-09-04 15:23:19 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Frankly, think of the expense if every single person (as in not married) was invited to a wedding with a plus one. What most guests don't realize is that just for the food you are going to eat, it can cost, on average $40 a plate. It can be as low as $30 a plate but most weddings are $40-$50 a plate before including the guest favours, drinks, wine, cake and decorations for the reception. When you add it all up, you're looking at an extra $100 for every plus one that attends.
As for the bride that asked you why you are not going, you can tell her if you think she'll understand. However, I think after the fact, when you see the pictures, you may regret not going.
2006-09-04 13:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think somebody is jealous of their friend who is going to be happily married very soon.
This isn't about YOU. It is your friend's day. Do you realize how incredibly expensive each and every attendee costs?! I'm planning my own wedding and was VERY lucky to find an inexpensive place that has great food and atmosphere. Most places I had looked at were $50-75 a person. If you're not in a long term relationship or married, then there is no reason they should have to pay for you to bring joe schmo who you probably don't really like much anyways, but you didn't feel like going alone. You sound incredibly petty and self centered, and the bride would probably be better off if you just didn't attend.
2006-09-04 17:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Often people don't allow for a guest in order to only have friends and family there. Also a guest list can more than double with the +1 factor. Here are your options.
1 - Go to your friends wedding and celebrate THEIR day. It is all about them and you want to wish them well.
2 - Don't go and RVSP with a "Will not attend" and when asked why be honest but polite. "I don't feel comfortable attending weddings alone"
3- Call and ask your friend if they would be willing to make an exception and that you would be willing to pay for the extra seat as you understand how it can be expensive.
Weddings can be fun solo! Good Luck!
2006-09-04 13:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, it is not rude for you not be allowed to bring a date (assuming you are engaged). It is rude, however, for you to assume you should be able to.
This is THEIR day, not yours. The celebration is about them, and they invited the people they wanted to be there. Besides the financial reasons, why would they want your Flavor of the Month to be at their wedding? Your date is is not important to them, so why should they fork over the money for his food, drinks, and entertainment?
I'm sure the couple assume that their single friends have enough social skills to make it through one evening without a date attached to the hip.
If you don't want to go, then RSVP no. If she asks why, tell the truth. But prepared for her to be upset, since it is you who is being rude.
2006-09-04 19:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, tell her the truth.
As far as it being rude...if you will know nobody else, then yeah, it is a little rude. However, if you will know others, I don't think it is. Weddings are extremely expensive. A friend of mine just got married and it cost her $53/person at the reception. That's a lot of money for people to be attending that they don't even know.
2006-09-04 15:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should look at it as a chance to meet someone single who you could one day marry.Many people hate plus one included because then they have to find a date even thought they look at a wedding as a place to met someone.I agree it is not a personal attack just like excluding kids is not it is a way to save money and you should respect that.I say look at it as a chance to meet people,go to the not plus one and tell any bride who ask that you think that weddings should always include plus one as an option because not everyone will add plus one.
2006-09-04 15:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by movin12006 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, if you are married of engaged or in a very serious relationship then I think you should be able to bring a date, but if not then no...the wedding isnt about you. Its about them and wanting you to celebrate with them. If you need to bring a date in order to do that then maybe its best you dont go. You'll probably know people there to talk to and maybe meet a guy there or something.
2006-09-04 13:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No its not rude to not get an invite plus one, i think its rude to expect one and be p is se d off not to get one..........at my wedding his side were a large family and if i had included a plus one for each single person then i would have had no invites for myself.....venues have limitations on numbers and couples have budgets....so you either accept the fact at least you have an invite in the first place and be greatful/appreciative you were invited or you dont go.......simple as that
2006-09-04 13:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by purplepatty 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
IM going to be a future wedding planner so i belive thaat you need to consider the amount of money the bride and groom will be spending on the wedding . it is not personal attack they probably are trying to sut costs b/c they figured you are single. if you have a problem with this offer to pay for the extra cost of bringing a guest they haddn't counted on eg: the admit card cost of extra seating
2006-09-04 13:15:27 · answer #11 · answered by disiple in training 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋