I am 14 years old, and my family constantly tell me to lose weight while my friends tell me to gain weight. My brother condescends me, my mother makes fun of my weight and often critizes me, saying 'do you see any asian 14 year olds fat?'. My father makes fun of my weight also. Another thing is, they don't expect me to do good in school, since I have always been an A's and B's student. What can I do to deal with this problem?
2006-09-04 06:01:53 · 15 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
btw i'm only 130lbs
2006-09-04 06:14:09 · update #1
I feel so bad for you cause the comments are not going to help you lose weight . They need to be more supportive to you. They think by making fun of you is going to make you lose weight and it is not. The mental abuse has to stop because words do hurt.
You need to sit them down and tell them that enough is enough. That the abuse has to stop. They are not helping but only hurting you.
If they want to help you then maybe go on a diet with you or go for walks with you. They really need to re-think there actions.
They are the adults and they are acting like such little kids.
2006-09-10 04:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Wahenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can realize you are a beautiful and intelligent girl who should stop listening to negative talk from anyone. It doesn't matter what you look like, just that you are HEALTHY. If you don't exercise or eat right you need to work on that and stop focusing on what other people say or think.
I am sorry this is happening to you but you aren't the only one! Start writing in a journal about your feelings and then after you've done that for a week write a letter to your family telling them how their comments make you feel. Also, tell them they are not helping you by making you feel bad about yourself but making things worse. Tell them you need their love and support and anything else you want to tell them.
Don't turn around and be mean to them to get back at them but don't be a door mat either. You are a person and you deserve respect which includes not being picked on by your family. Your home and family should be a source of strength and a place that makes you feel comfortable.
What your parents don't realize is that they are putting a wedge between themselves and you. Now that you know this wedge is there, don't let it be there!!!! Treat them the way you want to be treated and teach them how to treat you by talking about how you feel in a calm and respectful way. Your parents love you and probably have no idea that they are hurting you or your relationship with them and your self esteem.
Take care and know that beauty is within and not outside no matter what anyone tries to get you to think, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!! You aren't perfect and can always improve who you are inside, your health, and how you treat people and yourself -- but focusing on your outward appearance will drive you crazy -- not even the rich, famous, and "beautiful" are satisfied with their looks if they focus on that.
2006-09-04 13:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How tall are you? If you are under 5'6" you are overweight and I am sure your family members are just worried about your health and the fact that you may become larger and more unhealthy as you get older if you fail to change your eating habits now. Tell them how you feel about the way they talk to you. Let them know how their words affect you and what it does to your self esteem. Why your friends would tell you that you need to gain weight is beyond me as you can never be too fit for modern society. Too thin is not healthy and too fat is not healthy. Remember that muscle weighs more than fat and that a great way to stay fit is to drink 48 oz. of water each day. Peppermint is a natural appetite suppressant and as a meal plan...Eat breakfast like a King...Lunch like Cinderella, and dinner like a pauper. Any snacks between meals should be fruit, dairy, or protein and no serving for any meal or snack should be larger than your fist and you should never eat more than one serving at a time.
2006-09-10 11:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... your 14. and theres one thing that people get messed up at that age. It happened to me so listen up. Your still developing and believe it or not your still technically a kid. You really just need to focus on eating your fruits and veggies, less sugar, and most important!!!! EXERCISE!!! I stopped riding a bike when I was 12 and I picked one up now (I'm 19) And I was soo out of breath. Keep active and make sure you at least get one hour of excerise a day. You'll be healthy, if you gain weight do some sit ups. Its a good thing when parents don't expect you to do good in school it'll make you feel good about yourself when you get A's and B's. I hope this helps you out, and remember your 14 live your life stress-free.
2006-09-04 13:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ღαмαиdα♥ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents you are trying to lose weight but it's not happening. Check your body mass index online (height to weight ratio). See if you are in the normal range. If not then you need to work for it otherwise print it and give it to your parents.
2006-09-08 18:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by ME_FROM_ATL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want. If you are happy at the weight you are then don't list to any one else. Family shouldn't care what you weigh as long as you are healthy. If they don't then you should move out as soon as you can.
2006-09-04 13:09:13 · answer #6 · answered by yoda_0072002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont think about fat and weight, think about good things, read great people history,autobiography, life depends on deeds not on days, your work tells about you, not your weight, for this you have to read life of great people,
2006-09-09 09:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by brijesh s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to them. They criticize you because they are insecure about themselves and they have nothing to do. As far as your weight, go to this website to see if you are underweight, normal or overweight: http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx
2006-09-04 13:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Ale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents that you don't think they're being very fair or supportive. You'd only be telling the truth.
2006-09-04 13:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that they are hurting you. sometimes people dont realize that when they tease, it really does hurt.
and keep up the grades to prove them wrong. sometimes its a competition. they take you doing well in school for granted.
2006-09-08 20:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋