She might not sleep with me if I tell her the truth. Is it better just not to mention it?
2006-09-04 05:58:37 · 42 answers · asked by sparky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are planning on being faithful, then it doesn't matter - its your own buisness. If you are going to be sleep around, its only fair to tell her.
2006-09-04 06:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should always, always be up-front about this sort of thing and tell your new partner/bf/gf at the very start of your relationship. It is totally unfair to let someone fall in love with you and then reveal to them that, while, yes, you may still be the same person they fell in love with, the situation they thought they were getting into is not actually in all reality what they thought, and you allowed and led them to think it was. A person has a right to know up-front if you are bi-sexual or if you have children or if you have a partner/husband/wife. You may not want to tell them for fear of losing them before they have a chance to get to know the real you. You may think if they fall in love with you then when you do reveal the truth to them they are more likely to be understanding and be able to work through it as they are at that point emotionally attatched to you... and who knows, it may work out fine and you may go on to have a great relationship but lying from the outset is probably not the best basis for a relationship. It also shows a great lack of respect in my opinion not to tell your new partner the truth... AND YES, NOT REVEALING THE TRUTH IS THE SAME AS LYING!!!
2006-09-04 06:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by absolutely_fabulous_78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh! Are you even serious? Of course it is better to tell her the truth! Give her all of the facts before she gives her body to you. But considering the question you asked, it doesn't bode well for her that you'll be a stand up guy and tell her about your sexuality. "She might not sleep w/ me if I tell her the truth." You don't care about her anyway. It's all about getting in her pants! You probably have roofies on hand, don't you? If you told her, and she turned you down, you would conveniently change her mind for her.
Bitter much? Yes I am.
2006-09-04 06:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by decababe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all contextual. If you're been practising safe sex with all your partners, and don't want to have a long term relationship with this person (which, being as she's potentially uncomfortable with bisexuality, I would presume you wouldn't want to as you would be denying a part of yourself) then you don't have to tell her anything - do you feel obliged to go into your previous sexual history with any other partners (of either gender) that you have been with?
If you are considering a longer-term relationship with this person, I would tell her, as keeping secrets as big as that means you're not showing who you truly are with her, and the relationship will ultimately suffer because of it.
slightly off-topic - I don't understand why so many people seem to think that Bisexuality automaticallty means that you're going to sleep around - all it means is that you find both sexes attractive and may choose to act on it, same as hetro or gay people. That's it - there's no inbuilt "promiscuity gene" just because you are bisexual, ok?!
2006-09-06 05:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by Rich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my view, I'd like a man to tell me upfront about it. As long as you are serious about a relationship, I wouldn't mind if you're a bisexual or not.
2006-09-04 09:02:02 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what you want from her. If its two consenting adults that just wan to have sex with each other with no strings attached then I think that you don't have to tell her, if you're about to embark on something more then you have to tell her. Thats my rule of thumb on this issue, also bisexual, its a big part of who you are and you should always be upfront about it.
2006-09-04 06:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by Paddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
R u in love with this girl? If you are i would tell her up front, because if you don't and you sleep with her and then tell her, she just might leave you..
I dated a guy who was bisexual, he told me up front that he was and it took me a day or two to get use to the fact he was bisexual. but after i got use to it, I was ok with it.... and i don't want to sound grouse or something but i really like watching him with another man...
2006-09-04 06:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl17017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest - tell her upfront. If she's really anti, she might not stay no matter how much she likes you. Better to find out first.
2006-09-04 06:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her from the beginning. The reason I say this is because if it turns into something long term, I highly doubt you expect to be asked to give up a part of your sexuality. Give her the chance to make an informed decision.
2006-09-04 06:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relation ship is different, the rule of thumb is to tell upfront!
2006-09-04 06:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kamran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her upfront. If she rejects you for being bi and truthful you need not be interested in her. Better than breaking up because you are deceiptful.
2006-09-04 06:01:29 · answer #11 · answered by Carl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋