My friend is fifteen.Her father died about a year ago...so her and her mother moved in with her sister,who is married with four kids. Her sister's husband{who is her brother in law} is very strict on his kids.But he also bosses my friend, and her mom...the sister just lets him get away with this..this is not her dad should she have to let him be that strict with her and her mom?
2006-09-04 05:03:16 · 26 answers · asked by All Of the Above 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You would think that being family he would be more understanding, but at the same time the old saying goes......"if you're going to live in my house then you're going to live by my rules". Good luck
2006-09-04 05:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by jp_457 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way! I would say that the mom needs to get her 15 year old daughter and find her own place. Of course there could be financial reasons why she is staying there, but that would cause even more problems because the brother-in-law would hold it over the mom's head.
Also, the brother in law should not be disrespectful to his mother in law. She's his elder and the mother of his wife. His wife shouldn't be such a doormat though.
The whole situation could be solved by the mom's moving out.
2006-09-04 12:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by ebeeching1982 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing a Father is hard enough, I would think that the Mother should be addressing this issue and not you, you should be there for your friend, but this is the Man's home, and she is only fifteen, wherever she goes, she is going to have rules, there is enough chaos in that household as it is, I would try to talk with the sister, maybe she can get her husband to back off a bit, showing respect on all sides should bring a little peace.
2006-09-08 06:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it's his home and they will always be "guests" there. They're stuck with his rules for the most part. Tell your friend that what she really needs to do is stay out of his way as much as possible. She should seriously choose a career path and focus on making that dream come true. She can be out of there as soon as she turns 18 (just three short years from now!). She can go off to college (think student loans) find a career that she loves and make a better home for herself. Don't stop believing...
2006-09-04 12:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he has no right, but he might see your friend like a threat for his kids. That's why he is strict with her, too. Cause if she was a rebel and his kids saw that their dad accepted that, they would take her as example. If your friend doesn't like that, tell her to talk to her mom so they could live alone, not with a family. Frankly speaking, I'd be same if a kid lived in my house, playing with my kids. I'd be a conservative mother who want her kids to really become smb' in life and I wouldn't let anyone giving them a bad example.
2006-09-04 12:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by DreamGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your friend's mom should try to get on her feet as soon as she can and get her own place. Until then, she's trapped and she'll have to put up with her son in-law. He has no right to get into your friend's personal life, put he does have the right to set rules in his house. So I really think that it's time for them to move...Best of luck!
2006-09-04 12:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his house. If they dont like it they should leave. If it is abusive, the sister should say something. There is always going to be conflict when you transition to a new home. Im sure it is stressful for him having them in his house full time and more mouths to feed. Try to see his side too.
2006-09-04 12:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. He is probably nervous about how to act or has weird ideas about the situation. He needs counseling. Have a heart to heart talk with the guy. He should try to change at the very least.
2006-09-04 12:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by rasckal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his house. Why shouldent she do what he sais? He she paying rent?
She needs to talk with her mom about her concern. Perhaps they can plan out when her and her mom will move. Also perhaps while they are there they ALL (both women, all kids, and the man) need to sit down and talk about expectations, obligations, and boundries.
2006-09-04 12:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by aiji.tenchijin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if can be so strict to his own children, then he has al the right to be even more stricter to other people who just happen to live with him.
That is his right and priviledge.
Unless that would turn to abuse.. would be another story.
2006-09-04 12:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋