there once was a man who had a severe digestive problem. every time he drank malted milk, which unfortunately happened to be his favorite drink, he would suffer malt scented farts for the rest of the day. now, because of this problem, he normally abstained from drinking malted milk, but because it was his birthday, he though, 'hey, what the hell’, and indulged in two big shakes at lunchtime, with extra malt in each. as he walked home from work, the tirade of bad smells began. he hoped like crazy that they would all be out of his system by the time he reached home. naturally his wife disapproved of smelly things. so he farted and fluffed and mockered all the way home. when he arrived there his wife opened the door and said, ‘put on this blindfold. I have a lovely surprise for you,’ and he obliged. she led him through the house and sat him down at the table, and just as she was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. 'don’t move,' she said, and off she went. when she was gone, he seized the opportunity and let go. It was not only loud, but so smelly he had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. As he was wondering if that was the last one, he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. As he was wondering if that was the last one, he felt another well of gas build up inside him. He raised his leg and ‘rrriiiipppp!’ it sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled a helluva lot worse. To keep from gagging, he tried waving his arms, hoping to move the smell away from him. Things had just about returned normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the dishes on the table shook and a couple of pictures fell down on the wall. For the next 10 minutes, while he listened to his wife on the phone, he kept a mega farting session, following each one with a mad fanning of the arms and grunts of disgust. When he heard his wife returning form the hallway, he folded his hands on top of his napkin and tried to regain some composure. Smiling contently, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, ‘surprise!!’ to his extreme and utter horror, there were ten dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party
2006-09-04 04:54:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
yeah sure why not? but this is an old joke sorry but hey it's my birthday and I feel cheerful ♥
2006-09-04 07:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, This one is a winner in being weird... where did you come up with it? Anyways, why did the dinner guess sit there and smell it, I would have left and went home or at least outside to get away from it.
2006-09-04 12:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by L B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I heard it before, only it was a man who liked beans. Same plot and everything. But either way it is hilarious. And yes i would be his friend, i just wouldn't go to his house for dinner. lol. Funny joke.
2006-09-04 12:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How embarrased can one person get? that must have been terrible. I dont know if I could be his friend. Besides I would always pick on him about that day and I wouldnt ever be caught in public with a guy like that.
2006-09-04 12:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna's Hyna! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lol,OMG that was funny,I would have been his friend depending on what kind of a person he is,I wouldn't judge him by his lil or should I say stinky problem,but that one right there at the end was:Shocking,embarrassing,and funny!!!!! Lol,wow I would be his friend but sorry,we wouldn't be anything more!Lol,thank-you for making my day!!!!!!!
2006-09-04 13:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by Lissa305 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What bored a** person would read all that? Not me... Good luck with the dumb question. :o) Though by skimming one line of the paragraph, I know you can answer that question on your own.
2006-09-04 12:10:14 · answer #6 · answered by mani boo/poo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Heck yes he sounds sooooo cool!
2006-09-04 11:57:57 · answer #7 · answered by Alyssa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i heard this one before but it was with beans but this is a very good twist on things and yes i would be his friend.
2006-09-04 12:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by katz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes.. i would use him against all my enemys if i wanted to kill someone i use him... nothing would show up he he he but that is just between us
2006-09-04 14:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by Prada Marfa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, he seems pretty nice, and my bro farts all the time, so why not?
2006-09-04 12:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by Mika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋