Is God so unbending and cold?

Question

someone asked a question about who was living in sin and quoted, "...whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery."

this made me wonder because i have a friend who is catholic and was married to a man who became addicted to heroin and beat her and threatened their son. she is now divorced and remarried to a wonderful and kind man, but she told me terrifying stories of her hiding in the bathroom with her baby while he raged outside trying to get in with a knife. neither she nor the exhusband ever cheated. i know there also must be many other stories of spouses who left for reasons more violent than adultery.

please answer! is God really so unbending that he would have wanted her to stay with her exhusband and she would be punished as a sinner for leaving him?

Answer 1

No one ever has to accept abuse.....and youare right the character of god mourns about such actions

No clear thinking Christian would ever advocate someone staying in an abusive relationship such as the one you mention......protecting oneself and a child from harm is higher on the moral hierarchy than divorce.....

There are what i would call moral conflicts......where both actions are prohibited.......but you must choose between them

The woman in the case you mention...or anyone in abusive situation....must protect themselves ( temple of god ) first and foremost

It is similar to the moral conflict of whether you lie to protect a human life........the higher truth is what you give value....protecting life is more valuable than mere lying

Answer 2

That whole situation is very sad and it's a very sad example of what happens as a result of sin. Sin not only destroys the guilty, but also the innocent. There are many similar examples and stories like this, and they are all horrible and no one wins.

I can't judge or justify anything because I'm not God. But I can say God is not that unbending and cold. On the one hand God will not tolerate sin by any means. He did not tell the ex husband to sin, and He hates the results more than anyone. That is why God hates sin. But that's also why Jesus came to the earth and died. His sacrifice paid the price, once and for all for sin. Because of that the wife can come to Him and receive complete forgiveness and life. She can allow Jesus to heal all of that and she doesn't have to live that way or be condemned. But it's up to her to accept that. If not, she can also choose not to and then the consequences would be all hers to bear. But I'd say if Jesus is offering to bear the consequences for you and completely heal you and your situation, why not let Him? He is not the problem. He is the solution.

Many blessings.

Answer 3

The Catholic Church has a slight-of-hand called annulment. It basically means that Representatives of the Church can rule that the marriage was never valid. I googled for info to see if it could after after-the-fact and found the link below. It seems to be a close match and the answer is from a Judicial Vicar.

Fortunately even the Catholic Church isn't that unbending, but if they were, why should God follow suit?

Answer 4

Of course not. There are many old rules in the Bible that no one follows any more. They say that a man cannot cut his beard and that an adulterer should be stoned. It allows you to keep slaves and have concubines. Come on now, does anyone believe any of that? Some people just enjoy dictating to others and interpreting the Bible to make others miserable. Ignore them.

Answer 5

I assume he is in that manner only because I've read that passage and I'm remarried to a wonderful dream come true, 10 years now. I just told myself that God will deal with my actions when i die, It still concerns me while I'm alive what's going to happen , how will god judge me and stuff like that but I'm more safe and happier than ever.

Answer 6

I think in certian situations god does release you from the marriage through prayer and your understanding of what he wants you to do. If your friend was not prayerfully released from her marriage she can still ask for forgiveness. God understands mistakes.

This is one reason why we need to seriously look at who we are marrying. (not saying your friend didn't). Divorce rates are so high. In many instances there is divorce for petty reasons (not in this instance) we really need to evaulate who we marry first. Go into it with the thought that this is for life not well if I don't like it we can get a divorce, mentality.

Answer 7

God hates divorce, but allows it. I don't think these situations existed then in Jesus time, so we need to use some thought. But God does forgive. This is a question I have struggled with. Most books don't say not to remarry.

Answer 8

I do not believe for one moment that God sanctioned her ex husbands behavior towards her and their child. Unfortunately, sometimes we marry without seeking God's face first. Sometimes we pick our mate instead of letting God pick him for us. When we let go and trust and believe in God, that is when he moves in our lives. It is funny, we have to have faith in an entity that we cannot see per se, but that is the beauty of being a christian, the fact that we can have faith in the worst of times, and know that Jesus will move in our lives when we pray and ask him . So no, God did not want her to stay in that violent, loveless marriage. God wants us to increase, he wants gpod for us all the time!

Answer 9

God isn't unbending and cold, but the catholic church would have you believe he is. Steer clear of the catholic church and you'll be OK. Especially young boys!

Answer 10

serasotto,
Is your idea of being Christian being pure? Do you have any idea what pure looks like? I am asking you this because it seems like a lot of these questions are aiming some sort of "Pleasing God because we are all so wonderful and good" thing.

Live your convictions, preach Christ. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of Faith. Get your eyes off her and you and look to Christ. That's you life, at least, it should be.