How long should you be together before getting engaged? At what age is the right age to get married?

Question

Im not asking for advice, i just want to know peoples opinions. I know all the stuff about it should feel right etc etc. Just want to know what you think, and are you male or female?

Answer 1

Female.

It depends. You need to make sure that you know each other very well before you get engaged, to see how you cope when things go wrong, right, get difficult and all the rest of it. You need to know each other's view of the future, and on important issues like whether you will have kids, how you will bring them up, what your attitude to financial matters is and so on as these are things that can put a lot of pressure on the relationship if you have very different views.

I don't think there's any "right" age to get married - it should be to the right person, and you can't say when you are going to meet them! Better to be older and marry the right person that jump into something that's not right because you think you should be married by a certain age.

It's worth bearing in mind that people change a lot during their twenties in particular though - some people will grow together and some people will unfortunately grow apart, so it's always worth giving it long enough to make sure you really are marrying the right person.

Answer 2

I'm a female. It doesn't matter what age you are or how long you've been together. What matters is what the two people involved think about each other. If you feel like you are old enough to get married then go for it that is your choice. Remember there are lots of people waiting till they are older now only to be divorced within a year or even months, the older people that got married when they were 14, 15, 16 are the ones that are in it for the long haul. My parents got married when they were young under 18 and they are working on 41 years together. And they are still the same people and love each other just as much if not more than when they got married. It is all up to those two people as I said before alot of people now are getting married for all the wrong reasons think before you take that step.

Answer 3

It's not about a specific length. It's about why. If, after 2 years of dating AFTER HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, that you both feel that marriage is the right thing, go for it. No marriages under the age of 22/23; from 14-22 life changes at an incredible rate. You may think you're ready at 18 to dive into marriage because it seems like fun, but it's tough work and you would have changed a lot since 15. That's just three years. By 22, you would have changed even more! Before you settle down, I always recommend taking an emotional check--why are you getting married? Marriage isn't EASY.

Here's my criteria.

1) Able to be indepedent without each other: you both need to keep your indepdedence why being married. This is not to say that you should be seperate and anti-lovey dovey, but enjoy the moments you have by yourself. You aren't leaving him; you just need some time off.

2) Able to recognize the serious impact of marriage: Marriage isn't going to be easy. There are going to be days that finding the love you both shared is really tough. The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever, and those who tell you that it does are fooling themselves or the people around them.

3) View on religion, kids, finance, etc are discussed: in other words, think ahead on the big issues. Are you Christian and he Muslim? Are you for a huge family and he's for no kids at all? Are you a spender and he's a saver? You need to work on these differences and figure out how to deal with them NOW, not later on.

4) Learn to communicate and how to communicate well: are you upset with him? Tell him. Were you disappointed that he didn't bring you flowers when you came back from a long trip? Tell him. He's not going to know what you're thinking if you don't tell him.

5) Learn to communicate as an adult: this means, no name calling, no raised voiced, no accusing--use "I" messages, use a low tone, and LISTEN.

6) Education is out of the way: while not everyone goes to college, it is important to realize that important to dating/marriage during college. Don't do it. Get out of college and then get married. Get those student loans paid off right away. If you don't go to college, get a stable job bringing in at least $25,000. Set a goal that you want to make $X for the wedding, and go for it.

Answer 4

I am a female....My mother said to spend four seasons with a person before getting married. The length of engagement has no effect on this. That should be personal preference, but allow you enough time to get the type of wedding planned that you wish to have. There is no "right age" for getting married. But, it is always smart to date enough people to know what you want and what you do not want for a mate. It is also good to get rid of that "wild hair" before getting married since there is a lot of reponsibility in a marriage. It can be wonderful to marry young and have more time together throughout your life, but that is somewhat of a gamble because people grow a lot from 18-25 years of age. Some times people grow in different directions. I dated someone for about 6 years and this is what happened to us. Our interests grew in opposite directions and our goals changed. Everyone is different. There is no need for a written rule, except to make sure you are mature and heading in the same direction as a team.

Answer 5

I am a female. I believe you should be adults before you marry. I don't think there is a perfect age for marriage. This all depends on the people because some people mature at different levels, for example just because someone is say 50 it doesn't mean they are mature. Age has little to do with maturity. It is important to completely know each other, No secrets should be withheld. Unfortunately, one partner is often immature in the relationship and things can not work that way. A person's character is very important in a martial relationship.

Answer 6

You should be together for at least a year before you think about getting engaged, then another 2 years before you get married. That way you'll have time to see what the other person is really like ... and enough time to call a halt if you're not sure.

You know the saying "Marry in haste, repent at leisure"

Male, 48 - married 26 years ... and wishing I hadn't bothered!

Answer 7

I'm female, and from personal experience, a good long engagement is best. I'm not opposed to getting engaged after a few months, but a 10year engagement is best.
People do change, especially when they are young - I'd advise anyone who doesn't want to divorce to wait until they are over 25 before marrying.

Answer 8

I would say whatever feels right to you. What's right for one person is probably not right for another person. I met my wonderful gf in April and plan to ask her to marry me in December. That's only 9 months, but I don't plan on getting married until at least 2008, so that will give us a good 14 or 15 month engagement.

Answer 9

Male.
27/28 years old I think is a good age. Not yet 30 but building income, already out of Collage and working.

About dating... maybe 1.5 years before deciding to get marrined and may an othr 6 months for the weding

Answer 10

I think people should be engaged after at least 2 years of dating. I also think that for both men and women, twenty-five years old and over is the best time to get married.