i have a 1 year old daughter from a guy that was very violent with me n to make a long story short i left him when i was pregnant n now me n my baby have our own apartment with my current boyfriend staying here.n her real father has nothing to do with either of us since the day i left.she calls my boyfriend daddy.about a month ago i found out i'm pregnant again.my boyfriend has been acting very immature n seems like he doesnt care anymore.when we fight we dont talk it out or anything n he doesnt help me with my daughter or around the house anymore.yesterday we got into a huge fight about his driving n i was supposed to go to a labor day party with him at his sisters and didnt.he called me at like 1130 n we said we're sorry but then he said he's takin too much responsibility for a child that isnt his and doesnt want her to call him daddy anymore.i hung up on him n put phone off hook.this morn. she was lookin for him and saying daddy. it broke my heart.i dont know what to do now.
2006-09-04 03:08:38 · 31 answers · asked by Alysia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he made it clear he loves me and doesnt want to break up when we were on the phone.. he also told me if we broke up he'd want to see our baby reguardless of what anyone tries to do or say
2006-09-04 03:12:59 · update #1
i'm completely against abortion.. it's the worse thing to kill your unborn baby. and i could never give my baby away to another family when i know i can care for him/her perfectly fine.. so anyone thinking to answer get rid of it.. THINK AGAIN. it's a life.. you can't just get rid of a life that's out of the question!
2006-09-04 03:17:08 · update #2
okay people.. he's a good person except for a lot of his faults! Some of you say talk to my daughter! She's one! She can only say a couple words herself she cant understand full sentances.. what i do know is regardless if she calls him daddy or not she loves him! and that's what breaks me most! He doesnt understand how bad he's hurting my baby... she loves him.. real daddy or not! Her real dad isn't safe for her to be with and my boyfriend is at least safe to be around.. on another note he moved in with me it's my apartment not his! don't be so sexist and think just because i'm a women that it's his apartment.
2006-09-04 03:27:27 · update #3
so many keep saying i shouldn't have gotten myself pregnant.. i was on allesse.. anyone who knows about birth control methods probably know what it is.
2006-09-04 03:30:58 · update #4
It sounds like your boyfriend feels overwhelmed and is pulling up stakes. You should consider ALL the alternatives for this pregnancy and your duties to your daughter and yourself.
2006-09-04 03:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are in a fix but i feel cut your losses and start over make sure next guy wears a comdom and find a way to support your children.let the two losers go and find a more mature guy that loves just you and your children.your problems wont go away so move to another state away from this mess.Dont know how old you are or your work background,but you need to move on.Real guys dont want the sex they want a relationship too.Find one settle down and start over.i know it will be hard in the beginning but if you stay in these voltile relationships something might happen to you or your children.im sure your parents will help out that s what they are for.And if they dont put your 1 year with a relative and your baby up for adoption Many people out there that cant concieve would love to have a child.If you want these children you have to change everything. good luck
2006-09-04 03:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by ctownparts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to really consider your life and where you are headed. Your boyfriend is having a hard time with the whole idea of a family. Men have a lot of pressure to be men and to do the whole father/husband role requires maturity, strength and a good paying job. I hope you just didn't get pregnant to set him up for something he wasn't ready for....Instead of playing the game of "what's going to happen next to me?" why don't you take some initiative and plan your own life. If you choose to have this baby, then how will you support yourself and daughter? Can you go to school and acquire some skills to get a better paying job?? I do not believe in one true love....you can love a lot of people in your life (that doesn't mean you will sleep with them all) and it's the one you make it work with that counts. My husband (2nd husband) admires the way I left my first abusive husband and was raising two little boys on my own and holding down a job/career. My second husband knew exactly what he was getting into and wanted to play the role of dad/husband and is quite good at it. He's a real man. If you choose to make your own way, you will meet men who will admire your strength and courage....if you choose to just let life happen to you, then you will have many boyfriends and your daughter will have many 'daddies'. Your boyfriend is not going to rescue you and I'm sure that makes him feel bad. You will be a constant reminder (not by telling him....his own conscience will do that) of how he failed. Men hate that. If your boyfriend wants to grow up and accept his responsibilities then you have to make it easy and worthwhile for him and that could take YEARS. You have a better chance at life if you take responsibility for your own life and the life of your daughter. You will also be teaching her to be a strong woman...not a loser. I guess it's easy for me to sit here and tell you what to do....I'm 46, established in a home and career. Your life could have been mine 30 years ago. However, I made some difficult choices and here I am today. It's your life. It's your choice. What will you choose?
2006-09-04 03:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is indeed a pity for her. But you should accept the truth that it is a fact of life..
You are partly to blame... You should not have gotten yourself pregnant..
In the first place you should not have gotten another boyfriend so fast as if you were just changing clothes when you and your baby have not yet gotten off the trauma of the past experience.
Now, the best thing you can do is to prepare yourself for the worst, to give birth again to a baby without a father.
After you have been settled with this problem so very big indeed. Take time... you can live without a man in your life... Anyway you can pick up sex anywhere in case you need it in due time..
Do not hurry with any relatioship... that is where you bluderred.
Good luck
2006-09-04 03:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave this guy. I see some things that I consider mistakes
1. Allowing your daughter to call him Daddy (he is not her father)
2. Allowing yourself to move in with a boyfriend (he is not your
(husband) - you're playing house
3. Now that the house is getting another person - he wants out
(obviously does not want the responsibility)
You need to "learn" from past mistakes. You and your children are the most important things right now. Does that mean you may have to put your life on hold - hell yes it does! These children did not ask to be brough in to the world. I'm sorry, that is the cold hard truth and the more these young girls think about that than perhaps they will stop having sex for the pleasure of it and learn that sex is an intimate encounter between two married people who have reached a maturity level to understand the means and feeling of it.
I wish you luck - it is going to be difficult but you must be strong - for the respect of yourself and the "love of those children"
2006-09-04 03:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, no matter what, this "boyfriend" can't replace her daddy. She shouldn't be calling him that to begin with! He's not responsible for this child, nor is he responsible for your unborn child that is not his. He probably didn't say anything about your little girl calling him daddy cause he didn't know how to break it to ya. You know she has a daddy despite how he treated you, she'll grow to understand all that one day, but no matter what, he's the man that brought her into the world and it's wrong of you to give her false hopes at such a young age of a daddy who's not even hers!!! You need to talk to her and apologize to your boyfriend for putting him in such an awkward position.
2006-09-04 03:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess give him time. If you think he's a good man and loves you and will be there for you, then fine. You sound too young to be having children...but that's just what I've inferred, don't know whether it's true or not...Just time and space and working through things together. If possible, try counseling. It could be a big help and a major step in the right direction. Count on those you know, love, and trust for support. Bless you,
Kiara
2006-09-04 03:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Kiara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to understand that it is so hard for someone in that kind of relationship to take that role so quickly. He should not be living with you because it doesn't sound like he has any real intensions to marry you, so how could you really be a real family?
I think you should really think about what it is you need right now (support or another guy), please don't get caught up in this asshole (yeah im sure he's nice) because your children will always come first. I now it sounds bad but just be prepared to raise two children by yourself for a while. just wait for the guy you supposed to be with.
2006-09-04 03:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have gotten pregnant outside of marriage. Now your boyfriend can leave when he wants to, no consequences and your daughter gets hurt in the process too. Being a father is confusing him really because he's full of these new found feelings that he's never had before, he has to fit in your daughter in them too. You should give him time, try to be supportive and understanding but talk to him about where you see this relationship going.
2006-09-04 03:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why didn't u think of all this before u got pregnant. If your bf is young he probabley doesn't want a kid.You should or takin measures to prevent this from happening.I mean u already have one so u know how to do birth control.Don't u?I could say everything is going to be alright but that would be lieing to u.I'm sorry to say but your chances look meek on staying together.
2006-09-04 03:34:06 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's realizing the responsibility he has facing him. YOU already have a year old child and he's been good to her and now that you're pregnant again and this child WILL definitely be his responsibility, he's probably pretty shook. That doesn't let him off of his responsibility.
I don't know how old either of you are and it doesn't really matter, but it's about time to use birth control for both of you.
Do your best to sit him down and talk to him about what's going to happen.
2006-09-04 03:14:42 · answer #11 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋