thought about (sexually) or wanted another woman since we got married. I know the Bible says lusting is a sin. But I find it hard to believe that hubby has never lusted after someone else.
2006-09-04 02:15:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
OK - here's the deal - he's been impotent our entire marriage (8 yrs). Now I realize that's why! If - I say, IF - he really doesn't think about sex and he has no sex drive, that's why he's been impotent. Question is why doesn't he have a sex drive?! He's been to the docs and the say all is fine. Hubby never told me in all our 8 yrs that he never thought about anyone else.
I've never had sex with anyone else during our marriage, but I have fantasized.
We're actually divorcing now. And he hasn't seemed to spare my feelings in other ways. So I don't think he's lying to avoid hurting me now. He may be lying, just not for that reason.
2006-09-04 02:31:53 · update #1
Something just occured to me...I caught him watching porn a few months ago. He's been doing it obsessively for about 2 years. And I just found out a few months ago. So there's my answer...he MUST be lying. How can you watch porn and NOT fantasize?
2006-09-04 02:34:16 · update #2
He's lying, or not normal!
2006-09-04 02:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by STONE 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Christian Man
While I would agree that it would be unusual for a man, either christian or not, to not lust. I would caution you from not accepting his answer. Maybe God has given him a special bit of grace in that area. While unusual, not impossible.
Additionally, I would say that if that is the case and he doesn't lust, then your assumption that he is lying to you about it will eat at you and is a foothold that the enemy can use to hurt your relationship. Take caution.
I would say believe him. Unusal, yes. But if it's true what a gift you have been given!!
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
Another thing that I wouldn't do, and this is based on answers that I have seen so far here, is to tell people "Oh yea, My husband doesn't lust after other women" Generally they won't believe you. But hey, I'm sure that many didn't believe Mary when she said , "no really, I didn't have sex with anyone."
2006-09-04 02:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by edaily777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to know a bit about how men think about this. Lusting is not simply noticing that someone is attractive. It's dwelling on the attraction and the potential for having sex with them. When my partner was alive, I noticed if someone was attractive, but I was extremely happy with my partner and had no desire to have sex with anyone else. I can honestly say that I didn't have fantasies about other guys--at least until he died from cancer.
I am a bit concerned about your distrust. Many women would find such a statement comforting, but it seems to have truly upset you. You may want to explore for yourself why you've become so engrossed with your husband's failure to consider having sex with someone other than yourself.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS:
After reading your comments, which were added as I was writing, I stand corrected. I had no idea that pornography was a part of his habits, and that stuff is boring as heck if you don't get into the fantasy. But you're divorcing, and it's time to focus on what YOU are going to do next, not what he did (or didn't do) while you were married.
2006-09-04 02:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean, it is very dificult in this world not to notice other women who flaunt their bodies not leaving anything to the imagination men do not walk about with blindfolds on so, as not to be able to see that too.But that does not mean that it is impossible not to think that way, but why do you find it hard to believe, if he said that he hasn't, what makes you doubt him, is it that he has given you a reason to doubt him, or is it because of maybe something that you have done like think that way yourself? Don't you think that trust is very important in your marriage ? If you can't trust him then there is a problem in your marriage which needs sorting out, so don't leave it too fester and grow but sort it out the sooner the better, the Bible says that we should not let the sun set without working out disagreements between husband and wife, so talk to him tell him how you feel talk about it, communication is the key and if you have no reason to doubt him then don't, he deserves your trust just as you want his trust too,you need to give him your trust also.
2006-09-04 02:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by I speak Truth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, its normal and healthy to fantasize about other women. Man's prehistoric nature is to have several "mates" at various times.
I also believe there is a difference between fantasy and lust. Fantasy can be a fleeting thought, whereas lust is a continued craving.
This being modern times, I would say you are a lucky woman since he has never actually gone after someone other than you. Sounds like you have a darn good marriage... Congratulations!
2006-09-04 02:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by boj12345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, he is lying thru his teeth. Don't believe a word of what he says.
All men do fantasize, sexually or otherwise, and it is normal for a healthy relationship. Some cross the line - ah - that's where trouble begins. Some don't know where or when to stop.
It is human (especially men) nature. Some have better self control than others. But to say Never..? BS.
2006-09-04 02:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man is immune from the thoughts of another woman.
However, as a Christian man, it is a sin to dwell on those thoughts.
With so much sex and lust and pornography popping up on our screens and in front of us every day, it takes a vigilant man, a conscious man, to ward off these thoughts.
Just keep reminding him darlin'. Once he surrenders to these thoughts, he is prey for the trap.
2006-09-04 02:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by dredude52 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gald you find it hard to believe, at least one of you is rational. I have someone now who is the love of my life and I would never betray her trust, I have no desire to, but I still lust once in a while. It's normal.
2006-09-04 02:29:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very very very very hard to not ever ever ever do it at least once. Such a man would have to have hardly any sex drive, and you would know about that.
ALSO.... if you love him, dont ask him about something like that ever again. If he does feel lust, it Let him deal with that HIMSELF, not have to lie to you and deal with that also.
2006-09-04 02:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by CJunk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It probably was a small load and he got used to doing it himself. Some folks are into the solitary gratification and they abhor the participatory.
Watching pornography is the key here.
2006-09-04 03:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by zurioluchi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only God and your hubby know the truth. BUT..that's not to say it never entered his mind, but when it did he rejected it or did not pursue the fantasizing.
2006-09-04 02:19:50 · answer #11 · answered by chiggins3008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋