How direct can you be when you talk about orgasm with a bf?

Question

We meet every weekend, spend time together, having sex more than 2 times a day in that wkend.
I never come because he's totally doing the wrong thing to me, and he says he wants me to come, and he's trying anyways he knows... but how can I ever explain!?
So when you explain how to get your satisfaction, girls, how do you do it?!
Do you teach him from the start?
Do you masterbate in front of your bf?
That's the last thing I want to do... seriously, I need help here.

Answer 1

hey chill. there are a lot of ways. just talk to him a bit at a time. He is probably stressing because your not having an orgasm, and as a bloke he will assume it is all his fault. start slow show him the type of foreplay that you want . be totally mellow about it if you are stressed you wont come anyway. Show him bit by bit let him show you what he wants use it as an experiment session. the more you do together and the more you talk about it the easier it is. Be as direct as you want to be after all it is the most natural thing in the world. Good luck but I'm sure you wont need it like.

Answer 2

I notice you are looking for the ladies view - so stop reading now if that is all you feel you need ....

By the sound of it your chap wants to give you the best of times and, if so, he will be happy to receive really clear, unambiguous, information. So .... if you need something a bit special, that might allude him, make sure you describe it well, why it does it for you, and show him openly how to do it. I think that masturbating in front of him is a good idea - why not? He can enjoy (unless his views are a bit narrow in which case, don't give up, ,just go there over a session or two - bit by bit). If he is open he will probably join in (as you will guess many of us would) and maybe as a bonus you would learn a move or two. I don't see any losers here.

Good luck for a slow sensual climb to the top of the mountain.

Answer 3

Well, communication is the key babygurl! I understand you don't want to masterbate in front of him, try guiding his hand, or you go on top, you are in total control then. Or when he hits the right place, make a lot of noise he'll soon get the idea. You could talk dirty in his ear. All of the above work for me!

Please do not get all wound up about it though, the more it winds you up the less likely you are to climax.

Good luck x

Answer 4

Whatever you do, don't saying something like "good God man, what the hell are you doing? I'll never come if you keep prodding at it like that" Gently guide his hands (or other objects) over your body to show him what you like and where you like it. It's really important to be open about your likes and dislikes, in a gentle manner so that he doesn't feel intimidated and upset because his manhood is crushed (well, not figuratively speaking). If he's becoming increasingly frustrated that you're unable to come because he's touching you all wrong, it's up to you to gently show him how to do it. For example, if you know you can come easily and quickly using a vibrator, pluck (I said "pluck") up the courage to use your vibrator in front of him. Whatever works for you when you're alone will work for you when you're with your boyfriend. Just let yourself go and see what happens. It's also very important to feel comfortable enough to masturbate in front of him. When you're having sex, your bodies are one. You share feelings and caresses that only you two are experiencing at that very moment and it's incredibly special. Always be open with him and encourage him as much as you can

Answer 5

gently but direct.. you want to show him and tell him without bruising his ego & making him think he is terrible. Instead, encourage him by taking his hand and showing him how, move his hand with yours and whenever he hits the spot, let him know by telling him thats it, make the right noises when he does something right and he will know when you are feeling it. Take charge, be on top and move yourself til its right and if he moves the wrong way, whisper for him to stay still but let him know you are enjoying it and he will do as he is told.
Masturbating together is fun and trust me, he will love to watch you and he will take notes but letting him join in by guiding his hand with yours is still letting him do it. Once he gets the hang of it let him do it himself. Tell him gently softer, harder, slower faster etc but dont bark orders at him or get upset if he does it wrong. Men are very fragile and get frustrated easily if they are being told they are no good so the most important part is to help him and really praise his efforts when he gets it right. Have fun and relax while you experiment and he will enjoy that you are open to him. It shows that you trust him and men never have a problem with a woman taking charge as long as he is included and they do love to learn. Turning you on is part of his turn on.

Answer 6

Not direct at all!!!! When the girls and I compare notes, I realise every guy thinks he knows what he is doing, and most consider themselves the reincarnation of Don Juan De Marco. It took a LOT of patience and carefully worded suggestions.

- the "talk about it directly" method did not work for me, nor 6 - 7 of my other friends. Worked for a few... their BFs were totally cool about it... Maybe I didnt approach the subject carefully enough...

-as for "performing" in front of him.... wont help him learn... he'd be too distracted

Answer 7

It takes a long time, a lot of patience, communication, and love, to be able to teach your partner to fulfill your need. As far as how direct to be, be as direct as you can and not hurt his ego. See, men are egotistical, and think they know a lot more than they actually do.....especially in that area, so be as gentle and kind as you can, and still get your point across. When he is doing what you need him to do, encourage him...tell him, yes that's the spot! Good Luck!

Answer 8

You need to be as direct as you can. If he wants to make you orgasm you have to teach him. Take control yourself and show him what you like. Move him how you like to be touched. Then he will learn slowly bit by bit. Also masturbating is quite a good plan but he can take part in it as well so he sees what you like.

Good luck.

Answer 9

By all means, talk directly. You have to be very careful, our egos are very fragile. But you deserve what you are lacking. Do you know what you like? If you do, it will be easier. If you don't know, explore together. If he doesn't want to listen, tell him this: if I don't get it, you won't either.

Answer 10

be as direct as possible. if he really wants you to have one then he needs to know what to do and he obviously has no clue. so either tell him to listen of find a guy that can give you one and let him watch and learn