Would you agree with this idea?

Question

The recent question about why people homeschool had me with far more words than I felt I should express because what I did express already took up a lot of room.

What I felt as I was writing my answer was that school has a culture all its own. Each grade level is practically a culture all its own. They have their own dialect, their own clothes, their own music, behaviours, attitudes... And it's all just kids directing it all, influenced by the media and advertising and what they think everybody else is doing.

I don't want my children to grow up in that culture. Just as someone might move from a country to flee certain cultural aspects, or someone might move so their child can attend a school that doesn't have some cultural elements that their other school had, I choose to homeschool to not have my children raised in the school culture that is present here.

Children adopt the culture around them. Nobody can deny that because that's what makes children all around the world different in their behaviours, dress, etc.

So, would you agree that school itself has a culture that can be very different from the culture that parents would like their children to grow up in? Does it make sense that parents would choose to change the cultural influences by homeschooling, just as they might move or pick a top-notch school to avoid cultural influences at their local school?

Could people actually answer the question rather than spouting off things against homeschooling? I didn't ask for opinions about socialization, just whether you would agree that schools, and each grade level, are essentially cultures. Nobody says to a parent picking an elite school that their children should be public schooled, despite the parents possibly choosing that school because they are avoiding the cultural elements at their local school. Yet some people can't seem to see how it's the same for many homeschooling parents.

I really, really, really don't want to hear about your thoughts on socialization. It's beating a dead horse. You don't know the over 150 homeschooled kids that I do. You have no clue how socially active most of them are. You have no idea how long I've been doing this nor how long the people I know have been doing this. Really, you just have no idea and are guessing and stating your opinion.

Stick to the question!

FWIW, I'm a former public school teacher and my dh is a school teacher.

Answer 1

Actually, the question of classroom culture would make an interesting PhD dissertation.
As a former teacher, it was readily apparent to me that each classroom in the school had its own culture, and that culture was influenced by a number of factors, primarily the actions and attitudes of the teacher, but also by the attitudes and actions brought into the classroom by the students.
And, just as each classroom is a microcosm, so is each school, and individual schools across the city, although administered by a single school board, are truly individual and have their own character.
It is interesting that in some classes, the students slavishly follow trends in clothing, hairstyles, even slang phrases, while in other classrooms they are much more independent in their thinking and their actions.
It's almost as though the individual classes were cities and the school a state. There may be overall agreement on teaching core subjects, but there is certainly great variety within the whole.

.... and not a word about home schooling!

Answer 2

Yes, I agree completely with the culture idea. Each school and each grade within the school definitely has it's own culture and things they like. I speak from personal experience. My daughter was in the public school system through fourth grade and I was a "chronic" volunteer during those years. I saw things I never thought I would see in an elementary school. I've also worked in Children's ministry for over six years now and I've seen all types of children and the things they are "in" to.
You're right on about it all being kid led. It is, for various reasons, but mainly I feel because the children are in an atmosphere where their peers are the most important and often times the only influence they have. I have many friends that are public school teachers (from my years of aforementioned chronic volunteer-itis!) and they all tell me the same thing: their hands are tied when it comes to getting involved in the things they see going on with the students. The parents do not want teachers telling them how to dress and what to do. We just had a news story last week in our area about a parent wanting to sue the school district over the color of her daughter's hair, although it was against school code. The parent did not care there was a rule that was being violated, she was going to fight. Another story the week before that had news crews at another house because a child was sent home over clothing issues. Again, direct violation of school code, but the parent had all three networks at her home and again was threatening action against the district. What is the result? Unfortunately, it results in less power for the teachers and administration and more power for the students. And this is just clothing issues. I haven't even touched on curriculum choices, moral issues, sex, violence, armed guards, and all those other things others have mentioned.
Is this real life? Well, it's never been real life in my experience. If I violate rules on the job, I can expect to be fired. If I'm not comfortable in a job and my bosses do not have the same morals I do, then I can leave and get another job. That is real life.
So, I may be rambling, but bottom line: yes, public schools have their own cultures. Each one is different, some better than others.
I choose a different culture for my kids. One where the adults are in charge. They are children until they are 18, and to that point it is my job as their mother to guide them and train them for life. Am I creating a false culture that does not exist in the "real world" Hardly. But I have created an environment and culture where they can learn, grow, flourish, explore, examine and enjoy without worring about a lot of other stuff. Do they see that yucky stuff that's out there? Of course they do. We do not sit at home all day, worried that the world may seep in under the door. No, not hardly, we are a family of servants. We get out and volunteer. Our children are around a variety of kids all the time: a much wider variety than they would ever run in to in our neighborhood schools.
Hmm, did I answer your question or just add fuel to the fire? :)

Answer 3

Yes, to a certain degree, school does have a culture all its own. I pay close attention to my son and I hear the things he says as he progresses to each grade. He is in 4th grade now, and I was thinking, okay, the sex thing is just around the corner. I plan on circumventing all of this "junk" and am choosing another avenue for his education. I think homeschooling is a good idea and have considered it myself for my own child, but for now I am removing him from public school and putting him in a private school because I don't like the "ram the information down your throat" method of teaching I see going on in my son's school. I decided I wanted more control over HOW my child learns. I don't want a "teacher" giving my son rewards for good behavior or taking away "rewards for so-called bad behavior. I realize I don't want a "stranger" teaching my son what is right or wrong and teachers have too much influence over that, in my opinion.

Answer 4

Although I only home-schooled one year, it was a great experience for me and my children. It did not stunt either child's ability socially because they had friends from the neighborhood, and they made more friends through groups that we joined.
During my time teaching them(and I continue now), to teach the basics of life and responsibility (whether it is faith, economics, current events, violence, sex, and many other social topics.)
A family friend even taught her daughter at home, and she is now a college senior that is a member of a sorority, and already has job offers in marketing, so I think she did well. I agree with your stand on keeping your children from the cultures that are against what you want for them.The only reason my children have gone back to public school is that we moved out of the city where we were, and they go to a school now that has only 230 kids in the whole school (pre-k to 8th grade), and they are very strict on what behavior they allow, so it fits for us.

Answer 5

Yes, I think you have a valid point.

US public schools spend way too much time on culture, pop-culture as it were. My church meets in a public school, it's amazing what teacher put on bulletin boards as part of their "learning".

Of course it's reasonable to pull your child from that environment. It interfered, and oftenconflicts, w/ the bulk of the materal that is supposed to be taught.

And that's assuming it's just an amoral culture. Typically, in Lord of the Flies fashion, the culture that youth adopt is immoral. It's damaging. Education is supposed to bring people up, from the base to the sublime. But, letting kids dictate their own culture allows them to wallow in the base. It's contrary to the point of education. Unfortunately, many of our educators don't even know this, let alone work against it.

To reiterate, yes I agree emphatically w/ your point idea that a parent does well to remove their child from the public school culture.

Answer 6

I think that this is one of the best concepts that I have heard yet, referring to the experience kids get in a public school. I will also agree that they can experience it in church or in their neighborhood as well. The difference here that everyone is missing (well not everyone) is that school is supposed to be PRIMARILY for learning, not socializing. School was not designed to TEACH kids how to socialize. It is too bad that everyone is caught up on that.

Sooooo... all of you public schoolers that are so well socialized, ie. have experienced drugs or were offered it, have experienced sex or have at least discussed it in great detail or overheard others discussing it, can't wait for your parents to have the money to buy that girl/guys new shoes etc that you just saw and just have to have to look cool, and I could go on... did you make really good grades??? What is the percentage of good grades versus bad grades in the public school?? What is that same percentage in the homeschooled community??

Do you all find it successful to have been put down, shoved around through classes like cattle, introduced to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc..struggled with teachers that don't care or treat you like crap because they just don't like you, all in the name of socialization at public school that has the focus of teaching the three R's plus more?? I know that there are positive things going on in school too, but we must look at the good with the bad.

I will fully agree that I have been led to homeschool my kids because I don't want them taught that culture that is happening in public school. Just like I wouldn't let them go to a Jewish school to be taught the Torah and grow up Jewish. (I am just not Jewish.. nothing against those that are) People think that only religion dictates culture.. you are wrong. My college focus is in ASL and Interpreting. Do you know that Deaf people have a very distinct culture of their own?? It is difficult to get in if you are not Deaf. What about Native Americans?? Their culture is very secure as well and difficult to be part of.

My kids could go to a public school in Bel Air or in East LA. Would these two schools have different cultures?? Of course they would. How do you think that you would do in a public school overseas designed for military kids?? What is that culture like?? Just like the U.S.A's schools or do they look more like the country that you live in schools??

All in all my kids are getting closer to graduation and they know all about those things that I mentioned above. But, they weren't let loose on their own for 7 hours in a day, 5 days per week, unsupervised with others guiding them and directing them. Have they been offered drugs?? Yes. Has someone pressured them to have sex??? Yes. Have they done any of these things?? No. There are a few reasons. They were not saturated in the culture that says that they SHOULD do these things. They were saturated in the culture (my culture) that says they should follow God... Do what Jesus would do...
They have each other to keep an eye on each other and keep them accountable. They didn't get caught up in the goths or emos to give them advice. They are choosing what is right in God's word... not in any culture. Unless you want to say that following God is a culture.. good... that's our culture.

Answer 7

I would certainly agree that schools provide a cultural environment, some of them more positive than others. I would also agree that as a parent you have a right to chose where you send your children to school. If you have the time and resources to home school your children good for you. Remember that scheduling time for interaction with peers is also important to their social development.

I once listened to a fellow at a Board of Education meeting go on and on about how responsible parents send their children to pre-school. Finally, after having just about enough of this, I told him to stop trying to sooth his conscience and to give it a rest. If he and his wife feel guilty about sending their kids to pre-school instead of doing the job of raising them themselves, it's not my problem.

I have no argument with people who use daycare or pre-schools. That is your right and for some a necessity in order to make a living (single parents have a tough job). But my wife and I decided to make do on one salary and to raise our kids at home during the pre-school years. Don't try to imply that there was something irresponsible about our decision. My children are both honor students now in the public schools. I think we did very well.

There are lots of ways of raising well rounded, responsible children into adulthood. I wish people would quit trying to prove their method is the best. There are a lot of personal choices to be made in life, many of which are just decisions of preference without absolute scales of better and worse. Sometimes a good choice for one person is a bad fit for another. We're all a little different. But, we all love our children.

Answer 8

Girl,you are right on.I'm 14,have never stepped inside a public school because my parents saw how bad ANY school is,and They wanted me to not turn out screwed up.I know two public school kids,that were both real good kids once,until they got into high school,and now one is a goth girl,her 18th birthday is this month,and shes already moved out!The other girl pregnant,and now has a baby girl called Kazia who she to raise,and shes only 16,and moved out of her house too! My parents obviously didn't want me to have to deal with peer pressure from drinking and drugs,and they wanted me to grow knowing that no matter what people say,all those things are WRONG.good question.

Answer 9

I graduated from high school almost 15 years ago and I felt exactly what you are talking about THEN. I'd hate to see what it's like NOW.

Yet another reason I decided to homeschool my children.

Think about it, when I was in grade school, it had already started with the "you don't have Nike shoes. You're not good enough." By the time I was in 6-8th grade, people were beating up others for their Nike shoes. What happens now? Do you get shot for your FUBU or whatever?

No thanks.

Answer 10

people especially children are prone to copy what is around them. so if kids are around other kids they are more likely to do what they are doing, but kids make the choice. If you don't want certain influences around your children you take them away ex. explicit tv shows. That is the parents choice. People do not have to like our choices as parents, when we are looking out for the best interest of our children, that's what counts. Stand firm in what you believe in, we are the ones raising our children.We have the right to protect them, to teach them, to love them.